Category Archives: Encouragement

Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Prayer

Healed of a Blood Disorder

Have you suffered with an illness for a long time? Perhaps you’ve seen numerous doctors only to still have multiple symptoms. Twelve long years a woman, who is described in the Bible, dealt with a bleeding disorder. 

One day she heard the news that Jesus was coming her way. She caught wind that this Jesus was a “healer” or something of the sort. All else had failed her; why not try to get near Him? This woman, with forceful determination, pushed her way through the crowd, and with certain faith got close enough to touch Jesus.

The Gospel of Matthew relates this true story in chapter nine. It records that she came up from behind Him and simply touched the edge of His outer garment thinking to herself, “If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed.” (verse 21)

Jesus immediately turned and caught her hopeful eyes. Rather than rebuke her for touching Him He said, “Take heart, daughter, your faith has healed you.” Can you imagine? Twelve years of suffering gone in an instant of reckless, yet relentless faith. When Jesus turned, she knew that He knew who touched Him. Such a powerful moment recorded for us to have similar faith for healing.

It happened to me

It was 1976, my second year of marriage. I was leaving the military and applying for a job with a military contractor. I got the job but had to qualify by passing a medical exam. I failed the exam!

I thought I was a perfectly healthy 22-year-old who would fly through any medical exam. Not so. I had a low white blood cell count and had to subject myself to multiple blood drawings. Each time my white cell count became lower. Finally, a bone marrow test was ordered.

My newly married wife, a nurse, had fears of the worst – leukemia. The night before the bone marrow exam was to take place, the elders of our local church prayed for me. (You will see this in the scripture recorded in James 5: 14-16.)  

My marrow was tested and no disorder discovered. From that point, I had to endure blood drawing two times a week, but every time the results came back my white cell count was improving. It improved to normality.

I had touched the edge of that same garment and was healed!

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Challenge, Encouragement, Identity, Issues of the Day, Marriage, Men, Women

Senior Regrets

Recently I read an article on what 90-year-olds regret the most. Their answers included:

  • Not cultivating closer family relationships, their children in particular.
  • Not putting their children on the right path.
  • Not taking more risks including sharing more of their feelings with others and not being more affectionate.
  • They also regretted not being better listeners, which included being more empathetic.
  • They regretted not spending more time with the persons they loved. 

When asked when in life they were happiest? Happiness was strongest in their late 20’s to early 40’s, when they were raising children and then, again, steadily increased after age 50. Their secret to happiness and living regret-free was to savor every second they could when spending time with those they loved. 

In other words, accomplish more? No, love more. 

My wife and I were recently spending time with some friends of ours who have five years of age on us. They shared, “We’re now counting all the losses in life. We’re the next generation to pass. We’re the oldest of our families. We’re experiencing or will experience multiple losses. We’ll face the loss of our driver’s license, perhaps our home, our health, losing our friends who are passing ahead of us, and possibly a decrease or loss in finance.” It was sobering to listen to and then to realize my wife and I face many of the same potential losses. 

There is an ongoing accumulation of losses. Psychologists call it “compounding loss.” We’re living longer but we can experience grief after grief in this stage of life. 

What to do?

Age gracefully: 

  1. Stay active and healthy – exercise, walk, talk and pray a lot, doing things that stimulate us. Colossians 4:2:

“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” 

Prioritize your mental health; manage stress in your life. Receive personal input from your leaders. Ask questions and seek answers. Be positive about aging. Keep reading God’s word alongside encouraging books. 

Philippians 4:6-8:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

  • Embrace change – don’t get stuck, adapt accordingly. Change is here to stay, even at our age.
  • Be thankful – it will help our attitude. Constant complaining does not help anyone. 1 Thessalonians 5:18:

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 

Colossians 3:15:

“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.” 

  • Stay in fellowship and keep company with believers who are also positive and thankful. Do not become disillusioned with Jesus’ church, He will not disappoint. Stay close to your biological family and the family of God.
  • Cultivate hobbies and interests.

Stay focused on the gains and not just the losses. What are some of the gains?

  1. Wisdom
  2. Influence
  3. Truth–filled experience
  4. Time – more available
  5. Love
  6. Being able to look beyond faults and seeing potential
  7. Grandparenting and great grandparenting
  8. Forgiveness and keeping disappointments at bay
  9. We’re older than most of the professionals in our lives. We can use this to our advantage – dentist, doctor
  10.  Prayer times
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Challenge, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Marriage, Men, Parents, Training, Women

The Surprising Changes in the Beliefs and Boundaries of Marriage Today (Part 2)

What’s faith have to do with marriage stability?

Young men and women with an active faith in God and His word, the Bible, are long-term men and women who take saying “I do” seriously. They share similar moral beliefs and deeply held values. They possess a higher commitment to sexual fidelity. And those who regularly attend church have about a 40% less likely chance of divorcing. (See this Harvard study.)

Marrying when young often means less relationship baggage primarily because there are less exes. Maturity in a relationship is not measured in chronological age. Maturity is measured in one’s ability to think of their spouse or future spouse first and not themselves. 

Cohabitation is precarious, uncertain and shaky because it undermines the quality of your marriage commitment. While marrying Corrine, you may find yourself thinking about your years with Heather and then comparing your new wife’s sexual responses to Bekah’s. It will increase the instability of your marriage foundation. Cohabitation is pretending to be married with a widely open back door. There is no need for commitment in sickness and in health; there are no vows spoken to one another and to God. There are no community of believers helping you to remain committed to each other without the bond of a legalized marriage.

And then this

In a Wall Street Journal article dated Saturday, February 5, 2022 Lyman Stone and Brad Wilcox wrote, “[In surveying] 50,000 women in the U.S. governments National Survey of Family Growth, we found that there is a group of women for whom marriage before 30 is not risky: women who married directly, without ever cohabitating prior to marriage. In fact, women who married between 22 and 30, without first living together, had some of the lowest rates of divorce in the National Survey of Family Growth.” Now that says something which majorly contradicts the former conventional wisdom of trying it to see if you like it.

One of the reasons couples are marrying later today is hope against hope that they will not encounter divorce. They are vying for a lower risk rate. But along the way as they give themselves freely to various sexual partners and/or cohabitate they are actually decreasing their chances of marriage without experiencing divorce. Research is now growing and concluding that to cohabitate prior to marriage and to experience multiple sexual partners, couples are less likely to be happily married. The pretest thought simply does not work. 

It has been God’s word of truth

The word of God has revealed this truth for centuries. Social science is now only catching up to the truth written in the Bible about relationships and marriage. God’s word is more current when it comes to marriage and pre-marriage than tomorrow’s scientific study found within academia. 

For example, did you know that sexual pleasure between husband and wife was God’s idea? Solomon wrote these inspired words, “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer–may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.” (Proverbs 5:18, 19) 

Paul the Apostle wrote:

But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (I Corinthians 7:2-5)

God is not embarrassed by sexual intimacy, He is not a prude or naïve when it comes to His wonderful gift, but He did place very strict, very safe and very loving boundaries around it. Paul also clearly warned us when he wrote, “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.” (I Corinthians 6:12)

Sexual pleasure is God’s intent for marriage and procreation is not the only purpose of sex, but sexual fulfillment within marriage is a process, a learned experience. 

Concluding with married sex is better sex

Married couples have better sex for numerous reasons. They are committed to one another. They desire to please one another and give versus taking to meet a need. Intimacy is not filled with lust, but rather love. The married partners are monogamous. Sex within marriage is the safest sex. It is sex without worry, without thought of being caught, without fear of disobeying God’s command and sex within marriage is the best sex because you know the desires of your life mate. 

For all of these reasons and more we can conclude that God was right all along. His written word and His commands were all for our good and our pleasure. Boundaries are an important part of life and so it is also true of sexual boundaries. May you find this truth for yourself and then experience the pure joy of obedience and God’s gift to you.

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Challenge, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Marriage, Men, Parents, Postmarital, Training, Women

The Surprising Changes in the Beliefs and Boundaries of Marriage Today (Part 1)

In my many years of studying, researching, writing, interviewing and counseling in the pre- and postmarital realm, I had little hope I would see secular research come to agree with so many of my findings and beliefs. But the proof just keeps showing up in article after article.

My belief, without waver, is that premarital experiences directly relate to our marriages and that pre-marriage sexual experiences harm the marital experiences of life as a married couple. In the recent past the typical sequence to marriage went something like this: dating, sex, cohabitation, maybe children and then marriage.

Sex and cohabitation before marriage

Psychologist Galena Rhoades PhD and Scott Stanley in an online article titled Before “I Do,” What Do Premarital Experiences Have to Do with Marital Quality Among Today’s Young Adults, now questions this contemporary view of how family life begins in our society. She believes that every serious relationship has certain milestones, like the first kiss to actually coming to a definition of where the relationship is going. She unequivocally states that about 90% of couples are sexual before marriage according to one study (Diner, 2007). She also states that most couples live together before marriage (Copen, Daniels, and Mosher, 2013).

But then she writes this, “Many of them have sex with multiple partners before finding the person they will eventually marry. Do premarital sexual relationships relate to later marital quality? Yes and no. It depends on who you are having sex with. Men and women who only slept with their (future) spouse prior to marriage reported higher marital quality than those who had other sexual partners as well. This doesn’t mean that sex before marriage will doom a marriage, but sex with many different partners may be risky if you’re looking for a high-quality marriage.” 

Dr. Rhoades makes this eye-opening conclusion, “We generally think that having more experience is better [in life] but what we find for relationships is just the opposite.”

Multiple experiences with multiple partners sexually is now actually linked to marriages that are worse off and that having a long history with cohabitating may actually cause you to devalue your spouse. 

Marrying young

Brad Wilcox, a director of the National Marriage Project and Professor of Sociology at the University of Virginia wrote an article on how marrying young (by young I mean early 20’s) and without cohabitating “seems merited.” He wrote, “Our analyses indicate that religious men and women who married in their twenties without cohabitating first–have the lowest odds of divorce in America today.” Read that last sentence again, please.

What is it that the author of this study suspected as to why the success rate? “We suspect one advantage the religious singles in their twenties have over the secular peers is that they are more likely to have access to a pool of men and women who are ready to tie the knot and share their vision of a family-focused life.”

It has been believed and practiced for decades that a college education with a lot of dating, partying, fun, one-night stands and living together and then finally career all came first before settling down with a commitment to marriage. The statistic of living together (70%) before marriage is scary high. But Professor Wilcox wrote this, “But the conventional wisdom here is wrong: Americans who cohabit before marriage are less likely to be happily married and more likely to break up.” In fact, he says that couples who do cohabitate have a 15% more likely chance of divorce than those who do not.

Milestones in dating and pre-marriage days in a couple’s life means something because decisions mean something. We can remember when our spouse first spoke the words, “I love you.” We can recall where we were when we became engaged. We either loved or endured premarital counseling, but it was another milestone, a decision we made for us and our success in marriage. 

Fifty years of marriage 

Over 50 years ago my wife and I abstained sexually out of total love, commitment and respect for one another–keeping for marriage what belongs only to marriage. We did not cohabitate because we knew this one act reduces the chances of a healthy lifelong marriage. We had a large wedding because we wanted others to celebrate with us, hold us accountable and enter into our joy of oneness. We went on a two-week honeymoon dropping out of life as we knew it to simply work on becoming one. We did not know one another intimately (sexually) prior to marriage, but we discovered the joy of purity meeting purity night after night.

It was not a college education, financial security, sexual experiences or age that helped to create these milestones, it was love for God and a desire to obey His truth. We were married in our early twenties and we continue to celebrate milestones in our marriage. We are celebrating the milestone of half a century of marriage throughout this year and we are thankful for a godly foundation.

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Challenge, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Marriage, Men, Parents, Postmarital, Premarital, Women

50 Years of Marriage! We Did It!!

We were just kids, as they say. Mary was fresh out of nursing school, and I was in the military during the Vietnam war. We had a small two-bedroom apartment and worked different shifts the first two years following our wedding vows. 

Learning each other’s nuances, family cultures, likes and dislikes was fascinating. With virtually no premarital counseling we were finally married and living on our own five hours south of our families. 

While we had been in semiserious relationships prior to ours, we were virgins, having saved the best of ourselves for one another. It was heaven on earth as we discovered new things about each other, learning to cook, and all things that go into making a newly formed family. 

Our first apartment.

Following those two years we set out to serve as missionaries to adjudicated teenage boys and did so for eight years – not heaven on earth. This mission tested everything we knew in life, marriage and the pursuit of happiness. It was tough believing for our needs, not fighting over who spent the last dollar and living in a facility with other staff members and the delinquents themselves. Through lots of trials and pain we grew stronger in our faith, our resolve, and our marriage.

So here we are at 50 years. How does a couple keep it together that long? How does a marriage make it through severe losses, great financial needs, disagreements, differing financial values, and (one of the most challenging) raising children into adulthood? Let us (my bride helped with this part) take a stab at answering that question.

  1. Choose your battles wisely. You just can’t agree on everything, but that does not mean you live disagreeably. Face the fact, even though you are one, you are two different individuals who see things differently. That is not a negative, it is something to be valued. Seeing things differently helps each of us to see what we’re not seeing. And that makes for a better team. 
  2. Speaking of team, work together at serving and honoring each other. How can you out serve and out honor your mate? Also important, honor one another’s extended families.
  3. Keep dating a priority. Never stop prioritizing fun, weekends away, rest and laughter.
  4. Know why you are called together. Know your marriage mission, write it down and keep updating it year after year. It is the “why” of your marriage relationship.
  5. Pray and worship together. Nothing is more intimate, connecting, or communicative than praying together. You will hear each other’s hearts and know one another’s deepest needs and desires. Worshiping together includes having a home church; one in which you are both comfortable in and are fed spiritually nourishing food. It’s a place where you can serve and be served by a godly family who cares about you, your marriage and your family. 

Proverbs 31 reminds us, “A wife of noble character who can find?   She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” 

We have lacked nothing of value these past 50 years. There is no greater, no deeper love than our heavenly Father’s and that love enables us to love and cherish each other through every day, every month and every year.

Reaching this milestone has made every mile we have traveled, every faith step we have taken, and every prayer we have prayed worth it. If we can make it, so can you.

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Challenge, Encouragement, In the news, Issues of the Day, Leadership, Politics

When Political Leaders Disappoint Us

So many Americans (and persons from other nations) have become disappointed in their political leaders, especially in the last several decades. There has been a lot of discouragement with government figures and that goes for any side of the aisle you find yourself on. 

And it’s not just their political decisions, but their integrity as well. There has been enough lying going around, scandalous affairs, stealing, misappropriation of funds and the like to become disillusioned with almost all politicians. It’s heartbreaking really. Who can we trust? 

A major result of all this is voters become apathetic and stop trusting anyone who runs for office. We lose faith in their vision and in the leaders themselves. Another result is that we tend to give our favored candidates a pass or the benefit of the doubt, even when doing wrong (which we purposely fail to point out). To the opposing side, we let them have it on social media and anybody who will listen. We can be so busy tearing them apart that we don’t know how to speak words that affirm.

Here’s a truth: wrong is still wrong and right is still right. There is no double standard. When politicians say wrong things publicly, they should be held accountable publicly. When they take wrong action, their party should hold them accountable. It is as simple as that. Instead, each party defends the wrong in their party and then accentuates the wrong they identify in the opposing side. 

Losing faith in leadership is detrimental to the good of our or any nation.

What do we do?

For those of us who follow a Savior, we must get back to putting Him first. We must look to Him before we look to a politician. He is “the author and finisher of our faith.” (Hebrews 12:2) Jesus is The Leader, our leader who first cared for us. No politician can save you, only Jesus. 

Secondly, season with salt your conversations. I frequently travel to a nation where it is illegal to criticize the government. How do believers respond to this requirement? They stick with Jesus. Our nation could use some of that wisdom. (See Colossians 4:6.)

Third, please remember we are light because He is Light and light dispells darkness. You cannot be light and at the same time offer snarky, meanspirited, dark answers about political persons or those who support them. Let your conversation be seasoned with salt AND light. (See Matthew 5:13-16.)

Lastly, pray for your leaders. If you pray in one breath, it is pretty difficult to criticize with the other. If you take issue with a certain position, feel free to write a letter to the appropriate person, but then pray. (See I Timothy 2:1-4; Romans 13:1.) Your critical attitude helps no one. Your prayerful attitude blesses everyone.

Politics has become extremely divisive, but you don’t have to be!

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Challenge, Encouragement, Identity, Insecurity, Issues of the Day, Leadership, Training

Critics, We All Have Them

Writing anything and then publishing or posting online places you in a position for targeted criticism. What you write will most likely be helpful for many (if that’s your aim), but there are those who were born to be your personal critic. 

I wrote an article on pre- and postmarital counseling for a national magazine once and the following month the only letters to the editor they printed about my article were negative ones. I asked the editor of the magazine if there were any positive or affirming letters about the article and they replied, “Oh yeah, but that doesn’t sell magazines.” Thanks!

Write anything on social media and you’ll have the critic police letting you know everything you said was incorrect and you should be stopped immediately. Never mind that they are under the delusional thought they’re always right and their opinion is the only one that counts. 

It’s disheartening to work so hard on something, to be assured that your facts are straight and noted and that you incorporated multiple pre-readers only to have someone tear it all to pieces. 

And reviews? Forget about it! Having books listed on Amazon opens you to all kinds of inaccurate cruelty. I once received a one-star rating on a book because they looked at one appendix and then judged the whole book on why you shouldn’t buy it based on that information only. And there is no chance of fighting with Amazon about misleading reviews. Seems they love the controversy as well. 

Jesus was criticized once for healing a man with a withered hand on the Sabbath. They said He was “working” on the Sabbath. No matter what you do you’ll find critics. Even if you change something to suit them, they will find something else to criticize. 

I have some good news for you. You do not need their approval. You are not required to change for your critics. Can there be some truth in what they say? Yes, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are not your cheerleaders. Keep your focus on what God has called you to and work as unto Him.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. Colossians 3:23 (NIV)

Everyone has a right to their opinion, and you have the right to either listen to it or not.

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Challenge, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Training

Do You Know How to Receive?

Many of us love to give, to sow and to help others. Why wouldn’t we? Giving is fun, it’s rewarding and there’s always a return on our investment made in the lives of others. But how do you feel about receiving? Does it make you uncomfortable? Do you feel embarrassed when someone offers you a gift? Is receiving difficult for you?

Giving is one thing; receiving is another. However, within the kingdom of God there is an unlimited supply and if you’re uncomfortable with receiving, you’re going to spend a lot of time in discomfort.

Let me illustrate. If I tell you I have a thousand gallons of gasoline to give away and instruct you to bring a container, what size container are you going to bring me?

If you bring a one-gallon container, you’ll receive one gallon of fuel. If you find a five-gallon container, you’ll go home with five gallons, but if you bring a 55-gallon metal drum you’ll receive 55-gallons of gasoline. Whatever size container you bring, you must be willing to receive that much to participate in my offer.

Often, my wife and I are given opportunity to share with anyone who will listen about the miracle house we have lived in for the past 38 years and how we received this home from our real-estate agent, our heavenly Father. They love our story but sometimes fail to see the application. Their thinking goes like this, “We can’t afford a home right now, the prices and the interest rates are too high and there are too many home buyers to compete with.” Their container is too small as is their god.

Our God has an unlimited supply of land, houses, gasoline or whatever resource we’re in need of. We can increase our capacity to receive if we increase our container – our faith. If we’ll enlarge our container, we’ll be able to receive more. Jesus told us that according to our faith, it will be done (Matthew 9:29).

What are you expecting to receive? Stop limiting God because with Him all things are possible according to His will. He possesses an immeasurable and an unlimited supply.    

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Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Identity, Issues of the Day, Men, Parents, Singles, Small Groups, Training, Women

Shame: A Tool of God or the Enemy?

Many of us, if not all of us, are well acquainted with the emotional upheaval of shame. Since almost the beginning of our existence on earth, shame has been present. 

Does shame serve a purpose? Is there a biblical or spiritual reason for shame? Is shame always considered something bad? Can shame motivate us? Should Christians ever accept feelings of shame?

Where it all began

God created a perfect world and placed mankind into a perfect garden – His garden. With the fall of man, came what is known today as the emotion of shame. The Lord God called to Adam and asked him where he was. God couldn’t find him? Not so. God could not find the Adam that previously faced Him without shame and fear. 

“He [Adam] answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid. And he [God] said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” (Genesis 3:10-11)

Fear and shame of Adam’s nakedness filled his heart, and the separation from his Maker began. Then, in response to the shame they felt, what does God do for Adam and Eve? By verse 21, God was handcrafting garments for Adam and Eve. Why? To cover their nakedness and to remove shame.

Just what is shame?

Because we as humankind are so full of pride when we fail or we sin, our pride creates a desire to hide just as Adam did. We failed and we don’t know how to deal with the feelings we feel. As God’s creation who desired to be like God, we fail to live up to our own expectations, the expectations of others, and/or what we feel God expects. And that is enough to bring about feelings of shame and disappointment. 

Shame creates false thinking like: I am a bad person because of my failure. I will never be good enough. I deserve to feel bad because I constantly come up short. I am worthless. I’ve been such a fool. Shame is something we place upon ourselves when we have thoughts like these.

I dealt with shame

As a child growing up in the 1950’s and 1960’s, parents often used shame as a means of attempting to correct wrong behavior. They thought they could shame us into better or more appropriate responses. They did this through words like, “You should be ashamed of yourself, acting like that.” Or we often heard this one, “What are you, stupid?” And then there was this one, “How could you be so dumb?” Shame-filled words do not administer correction, they create a defeated self-concept of oneself that can eventually lead to a very low esteem or even self-punishment.

Our Lord does bring discipline and correction to us, but He does it in a life-giving, loving way. His goal is not to crush our spirit with the use of shame, but to correct in a spirit of hope and encouragement to change our beliefs, thoughts and actions. 

Why then do Christians struggle with shame?

For many of us who have trusted in Jesus for our salvation, shame can still plague us. The enemy of our soul wants to remind us of our past deeds, sins, mistakes and then bring back the familiar feelings of shame. Often there are voices and scenes stuck in our heads with old video messages of shame-filled words that multiple people spoke over us. We often give in to those false messages and we allow these persons and their voices to have power over us.

It’s interesting that we are told in the scriptures our heavenly Father does not hold shame or sin over us. Why? Because it is not a motivator for becoming shame-free. In fact, God’s word says, “Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
and everlasting joy will be yours.” (Isaiah 61:7) Instead of shame…everlasting joy.

Also, through divine inspiration, the prophet Isaiah wrote these power-filled words: “Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrows of your widowhood.” (54:4)

As Christians, we can still struggle with shame because we do not realize the price that our Savior paid for that shame. How can I be so confident of that? Listen to what Paul wrote to the Roman church, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” (Romans 10:11) The more we believe God’s word (His promises and not the tapes in our head from our former misbeliefs), the more truth that we store in our spirit, and the more faith and hope we have in the penalty Jesus paid. Consequently, the freer we become of shame.

Again, Peter harmonizes with Paul and writes, “For in Scripture it says: ‘See I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame.’” (I Peter 2:6)

Stop hiding

Adam and Eve hid, and we’ve been hiding from God ever since. There is only one place that we are called to hide, only one place where we can rid ourselves of shame, and only one place where there is no longer any fear that leads to shame: “…fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2)

Jesus was led like a sheep to the slaughter, arrested, mocked, spit on, beaten, insulted, given a crown of thorns – all a picture that was full of shame and humiliation. Jesus chose to obey His Father as He bore our shame and our guilt through a torturous and agonizing death.

There is no other place to go for freedom, for atonement, and for cleansing of our shame. Shame always says we’re guilty, but from the cross Jesus said that guilt and shame were paid for. He died for shame-filled sexual sin, theft, out of control anger, abuse, and anything else you can name from your life. When we repent of our sin and receive Him as our Savior, He pronounces over us that the penalty for our sin, the guilt, the shame, the menicing weakness we feel is covered by His blood and sacrifice on the cross. And from that cross He says, “Shame off of you!”

Jesus is the only one that we can trust to deal with our shame. He helps us to flee from the sin-filled choices we once made and lifestyles we once lived. In desiring to please Him, we can turn over those old video files and request that they be erased – permanently. We no longer need to feel ashamed.

“In you oh Lord, I put my trust; let me never be ashamed; deliver me in your righteousness.” (Psalm 31:1)

“In you, Lord, I have refuge; let me never be put to shame.” (Psalm 71:1)

“I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame,  nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause.” (Psalm 25:2,3)

Choose a life of joy, free of condemnation

As we confess our sin, our fear, and our shame, believe God to release you of those burdens. Forgive those persons who spoke words of shame over you. Often those persons spoke out of their own shame-filled souls. Make use of the scriptures in this article to counteract the lies and the misbeliefs of your past. Remember that it is not what others think of you, it’s what your heavenly Father thinks of you and what Christ has done for you on the cross. Finally, live out the truth of this verse, “There is, therefore, now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” (Romans 8:1)

“Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.”(Psalm 34:5)

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Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, History, Issues of the Day

God’s Tinkering

For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son…  Romans 8:29

Henry Ford, as the story is told, hired an electrical wizard to repair one of his huge electrical motors.  Charlie Steinmetz came, found the problem, repaired it and sent Mr. Ford a bill for $10,000.00.  Henry Ford could not imagine such a large expense for “a little bit of tinkering.”  Surely Charlie placed too many zeros on his invoice.  Mr. Steinmetz’s response to Henry was simple: $10.00 for “tinkering” and $9,990.00 for “knowing where to tinker.”

In order for God to conform us to His image it takes a bit of tinkering.  I imagine it to be something like Holy Spirit crawling down into the sewers of our soul to remove that which does not honor Him in order to rebuild and conform us to that which does honor Him.  While all of us desire change to happen instantly, so much of being conformed takes a life time.  

We all have a past, but when we came to Jesus, the cross made the difference between us and our histories.  Jesus became a curse for us so that we could become redeemed from the curse (Gal. 3:13).  The cross separated us from, “…the empty way of life handed down to [us]” (I Pet. 1:18).  And, we were made alive, our sins forgiven…taken away and nailed to the cross (Col. 2:13-14).  Jesus is the great Counselor and we celebrate Easter this weekend becasue His tomb is empty and He is alive!

Ask the Holy Spirit, the One whom Jesus sent, to continue to conform your life today – He knows exactly where to tinker.

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