Category Archives: Leadership

Issues of the Day, Leadership, Marriage

Walking in Integrity and Avoiding an Affair

To walk in integrity outside of moral failure has some great benefits to it.  I am not sure if you have ever thought about the consequences of having an affair, but here are a few to meditate on:

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  • Working to rebuild trust and an uninhibited marriage of oneness once again (spiritually, sexually, emotionally)
  • Embarrassing family, losing their respect and trust
  • Having to walk away from a job or ministry position
  • Possibly having to relocate
  • Possibly facing newspaper articles, publicly printed communication and social media about personal failure
  • Facing rumors, gossip and lies
  • Having to face untold and far-reaching negative consequences either based on truth and fact or hearsay
  • Maybe having to face the law or possible law suits
  • Losing or forfeiting many friendships and local church relationships
  • Living with wounds and scars
  • Feeling as though everyone is watching youimages-7
  • Suffering from overwhelming thoughts of failure
  • Continually reliving the past and coming up with regret and loss
  • Living with continual condemnation
  • Struggling to sleep at night
  • Waking up in the morning and wondering how to look forward to a new day
  • Having to be concerned about who one may face or encounter throughout the day
  • Suffering the loss of vision
  • Having to go through biblical discipline and a restoration process
  • Being unable to look at one’s family and all others in the eye
  • Being unable to look at oneself in the mirror without feeling condemnation and feeling like a failure
  • Suffering from an unclear conscience; walking through life feeling a cloud over oneself
  • Feeling the loss of ones peace and joy
  • Suffering through the loss and grief of broken relationship with God
  • Living with the deep hurt and pain you caused the one with whom you vowed a promise of fidelity
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Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Leadership

Integrity is Not Perfect

images-3Can we maintain integrity even while we are on a mistake-filled journey here on earth? We can, as godly character is grown over time and we realize mistakes are a part of that growth. If we live under strict codes, then all failures are placed upon our permanent record. But in living under grace, we find forgiveness for our failures and an Advocate who comes along side us to reinforce the right responses for future application and personal growth. The journey, while not an excuse for sin, is about growth in the process, not perfection.

Recently, I was traveling over Memorial Day weekend and within a four-hour time span I counted no less than one dozen police officers patrolling along the highway. It was a constant reminder to obey the law or I would suffer the consequences. If I disobeyed or was disobeying, fear would be my response.   If I obeyed the law, assurance of no wrongdoing was my confidence. That’s how the law operates. But God’s grace in the process does not operate that way because “…perfect love casts out fear.” (I John 4:18)images-4

Love accepts that integrity is not perfect. Love embraces the journey. Love forgives the wrongdoing and love promotes more love, not fear. There are plenty of faults to find in the Psalmist David’s life, but in Psalm 41 he wrote, “In my integrity you uphold me and set me in your presence forever.” Thank you, Father, for upholding us, building integrity within us and setting us in Your presence!

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Leadership, Training

What Years of Ministry has Taught Me About Integrity

imagesIntegrity is a condition we choose to walk in. If we choose not to walk in integrity, we will eventually need intervention in our lives.  The following are examples of life lessons in integrity.

  1. Integrity is God’s choice for me. (I Kings 9:4)

 

  1. Integrity is a choice that I must choose. (Job 27:5,6; Psalm 7:8)

 

  1. Integrity starts in my heart. (I Chronicles 29:17)

 

  1. It is easier to not be a man or woman of integrity. (Job 2:9)

 

  1. It is something that you grow in. (Psalm 103:13,14)

 

  1. Finding a model to emulate is helpful, as well as being that model. (Titus 2:7)

 

  1. It means humbling ourselves when we fail. (Romans 12:3)

 

  1. It means not being able to defend yourself before others at times. (Psalm 25:21; 41:12)

 

  1. Jesus maintained integrity before men who constantly judged him. ( Mark 12:14; Hebrimages-2ews 5: 8, 9; Proverbs 29:10)

 

  1. The closer we come to Jesus, the more integral we become. (Proverbs 2:21; 10:9 NLT; 11:3; 13:6)
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Encouragement, Leadership

Tenacity, One of my Favorite Words

imagesHolding fast, persistence or holding firmly defines the word tenacity. It’s a good word when used in combination with faith, believing and a reluctance to let go of a promise. It’s a negative word when connected to anger, selfishness or an aversion to backing off. How tenacious are you and how do you use your tenacity? My wife has often told me that I am one of the most tenacious persons she knows. I admit, I am tenacious, she’s right and I receive those words as a compliment.images-3

Oswald Chambers once wrote, “Tenacity is more than endurance, it is endurance combined with the absolute certainty that what we are looking for is going to transpire.” Is going to transpire, I like that. What are you looking for? How steadfast are you? Have you resolved to not let go, to persist and hold fast? Do you have “absolute certainty” in the matter? If you do, then be tenacious and hold on, out wait the evil one, be patient and trust that God is working, shifting and moving circumstances in light of your faith. Put tenacity to work in a positive way and do not allow anyone to sway you from personal endurance and fortitude.

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Leadership, Marriage, Parents

I Forgive You

images-4I forgive you – three very powerful, but very difficult words to speak. Perhaps even more difficult are the words, “Please forgive me.” Why does it take so long to work up the courage, humble ourselves and put away our pride? Jesus offered this medicine while on the earth when He shared that if we forgive, we will be forgiven. Paul the apostle stated it so succinctly when he wrote it this way, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Nicky Gumbel, the Alpha course images-5teacher, once said that the first one to apologize is the bravest one.

It has been well stated that to withhold forgiveness only hurts us. It keeps us bound by our refusal to release the one who hurt us or who we hurt. Withholding forgiveness will separate you from your soul mate. It will make life far more stressful. When we express forgiveness to one another and the air is cleared, it’s like a new sense of connection, freedom and release of tension. The heaviness can leave; eye contact and affection can return. You will fall asleep easier and you will wake up more refreshed. Through forgiveness your heart, mind and spirit can once again be at peace. Be brave, be the initiator when it comes to forgiving.images

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Encouragement, In the news, Issues of the Day, Leadership, Prayer

Going to the Polls and Electing a New President

imagesIt has been on my heart to address something going on particularly in America right now, but I also know there are some similarities around the world when it comes to elections.

We are in the middle of a political year here in America and the world is watching.  Recently while in another country, I heard a businessperson say publicly, “God help us all if Donald Trump becomes the next US president.”  I understand the comment, but I am challenged by the attitude and the attitude of so many (including myself at times).  I receive a lot of Facebook posts from leaders and at times I am horrified by some of them.  I am not angry at what I see and read as much as I am grieved.  I feel that we as Christians are simply adding to the problem of creating a greater level of disunity and anxiety among our family and the world around us.  While we desire to spread truth, we must be careful that we are not at the same time wounding others in the process and spreading fear.

A statement that I recently read in Shawn Bolz’s new book, Translating God, challenged me.  This one statement jumped out at me in light of how I perceive some (including myself) dealing with the political differences and climate around us.  Shawn wrote, “We will have no authority over that which we do not love.”  In other words, if I had the opportunity to speak to our president would I speak what I have posted in FB or forwarded in a negative email?  If I had opportunity to share with him would he know my love for him, my prayers for him or just my oppositions?  If we do not love, we will certainly miss out on possible assignments from our Father.

I long for authority in the Spirit to pray for our leaders, but at the same time struggle with their agenda and their damaging decisions.  I can’t reconcile a Christian voting for an extremely pro-abortion candidate, but I know they do.  I may never understand it, but can I walk in unity with that person?  Let me share a few verses that I would like you to read and consider sharing with others as the Lord leads you in light of this subject.

(See:  I Corinthians 1:10; Philippians 2:1-4; Ephesians 4:1-4; Colossians 3:12-14; Romans 15:5-7; and John 17:21-23.)images-7

Then in John 18:36 Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world…”  Our kingdom is NOT of this world.  We walk in this world of politics, dissension, disagreement and disunity, but we are to be unified as believers because our kingdom is not of this world!  Yes, we need to vote, discern, discuss and be clear from the pulpit on godly values when it comes to voting, but at the end of the day we are not to lose our unity with one another in building the kingdom of God, especially as we may vote differently.

I continually think of Daniel in light of this topic.  A godly leader who stood to pray for, work with and eat with a very ungodly, secular government and system.  While he did not compromise, his love must have continually come through. Daniel, “…resolved not to defile himself.”  He received knowledge and understanding through the literature of the culture he was thrust into.  He continually spoke with, “…wisdom and tact.”  As God’s politician they could not find any corruption in him.  The reason for his favor?  Daniel 6: 23 says that he trusted in his God. There was no vote. Daniel was not voted into office, God placed him there.

We share from the pulpit on godly values when it comes to voting, but at the end of the day we are not to lose our unity with one another in building the kingdom of God.  Recently I heard someone say, “Don’t be deceived to believe that man’s view is always God’s view or that man’s thoughts are God’s thoughts.”

Do you remember the argument in Romans 14 over food, what was clean and what was unclean and then who was weak and who was strong?  The whole chapter was about how to treat the weaker in the faith and in the end the writer inspired by God says, “So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God.”  That’s something to think these days…

Jesus and the disciples faced this very thing on a daily basis and then gave their lives, not in opposition of their government but in standing for a kingdom that was not of this world system.  Yes, I realize that some wanted Jesus to set up His kingdom on earth at that time, but that was never God’s goal for His Son. Rather, it was to reach the cross and bring to us the ultimate form of freedom.

Paul stood before the government leaders of his day and it was his own Jewish people who insisted on that same government ending Paul’s life.

The message of the kingdom of God is not full of political judgement, issues and division, it’s a message of the heart for the heart.  God’s kingdom is a reconciling kingdom.  It’s a message of the unifying love of Christ.

So, let’s pray for our next president as believers united in Christ so that we can work together to see His kingdom come with a sense of unity. Let us unite in the need of a leader who stands from a position of integrity, high moral character, experience, truth and one who loves this nation and desires to see it prosper in order to serve other nations. However, let us also realize no politician can save us, only one Name can do that.images-6

And please be reminded of whose side you are on and it’s not liberal or conservative. I have literally been trying to remind myself through these thoughts, “Jesus loves you, this I know even if I disagree with everything you stand for…Jesus loves you and I need to love you as well.”  Help us, Father, to love so that we might be known by our love.  And as we stand for our beliefs, values and convictions may we work toward unity of the Spirit of Christ.

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Encouragement, Leadership

Ten Things I Learned from a Narcissistic Coworker

imagesA number of decades ago in my more youthful leadership years, I had a young coworker who excelled at being a thorn in the flesh. He was in the wrong employment at the time, because in actuality the only probable employment for him was to work under no one, but himself. He simply could not be lead and neither did he have any grace for being part of a team. His team was made up of one: himself. While he didn’t realize it, he was a teacher, a great one. He taught me so much about what not to do, how not to act and who not to be. It was painful trying to work with him, but to this day I know I walk in lessons learned from this man.

Stories I could tell are too excruciating to relate, but what I do desire to recount is what I learned in working with him.

  1. I learned to become more dependent upon the grace of God to not continually react in the flesh.
  2. I learned that my will did not need to be as strong as his.
  3. I learned that dying to myself was a good thing…no, a God thing
  4. I learned to not take offense from his frequent accusations.
  5. I learned that pent up anger will eventually explode.
  6. I learned that to hurt in kind and in return only reduced me to his level.images-10
  7. I learned that it’s easy to talk about forgiveness and much harder to forgive all too frequent damages.
  8. I learned that revenge and obsessing about revenge destroys my mind, affects my spirit and creates a living torment.
  9. I learned that to be falsely accused, rejected and repeatedly wounded was to identify with Christ in greater measure.
  10. I learned that God’s love transcends narcissism and every wound it dishes out so that God’s love can change my coworker and me. And the more I learned about the love of God, the more my heart was enlarged to love.
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Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Leadership, Marriage

Life and Suffering

imagesAre you experiencing a struggle in your life or your marriage? If your answer to that question is “yes,” then my response is, good. Someone once said that, “Beauty is birthed in struggle.” Most of us have a natural tendency to avoid struggles in life. We dream of the life of ease, but is that life a reality and would we experience personal growth in that environment? Author Gary Thomas wrote, “Few people leave a marriage because it’s too easy.” To never encounter personal struggle and to only have ease and comfort would be to remain immature and walk through life with a lack of depth and character.

Do you desire your marriage, your life for that matter, to be seasoned and to experience growth and maturity? Suffering can be profitable and work toward this end as long as you find the purpose, walk through the process and personally grow because of it. If you think back through your life you will realize that it was the difficult times in which you grew (spiritually and emotionally) the most. imagesJesus suffered, as did many men and women of history. It was/is our Lord’s belief that something would be built in us as we would realize…For our present troubles are quite small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us an immeasurably great glory that will last forever! (II Corinthians 4:17)

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Encouragement, Leadership, Mission Report

Leaders Need Encouragement Too

imagesIn a recent conversation, someone reminded me that leaders need a regular dose of encouragement. Leaders tirelessly work toward maturity in the lives of others. Leaders lead in such a way that they continually put themselves out front, knowing they will take some personal “hits”. Leaders naturally think toward growth of their organization, their ministry, their staff and their own personal lives. True God-given leadership never stops desiring to effect change and make a better tomorrow. And, when these natural desires are not met, leaders can become discouraged.

Many years ago my wife and I assembled a youth mission team together. It was our first effort to do such a project and we had 14 very excited and rambunctious volunteers. We spent months preparing for our outreach, speaking into their lives and praying with them. The team did great and completed their mission beyond our expectations. Recently my wife and I were thinking about those 14 names and we asked ourselves, “Where are they today?” Below, see the answers to that question to the best of our present knowledge.images-4

Team member:

#1. Continues with various short-term mission teams; conducted a small engine repair clinic in Uganda; married a nurse with a mission’s heart

#2. Various other mission teams; serves with a human trafficking organization; went to law school

#3. Various other mission teams; serves an orphanage in Mombasa, Kenya now in co-mission with her husband

#4. Completed Bible school, married and became a fulltime missionary to the Middle East

#5. Serving God by serving youth in a mental health facility

#6. Went to Bible school and is now a fulltime missionary to Germany working in human trafficking

#7. A fulltime YWAM missionary for several years and now a DOVE International pastor’s wife

#8. Completed her social work degree and now a missionary in South Africa youth prisons

#9. Leading a church planting effort to Germany

#10. Various mission teams; a medical doctor (surgeon) today working with medical missions

#11. Away from God?

#12. Away from God? Unknown whereabouts.

#13. Went to college; married; a mother of two children

#14. Incarcerated for murder; has returned to God and lives for Him daily in prison soon to be paroled

images-6There you have the outcome of one youth mission team who are now adults. Obviously, a lot more has happened in their lives than just that first team, but when we as leaders do not stop and think about the results of sowing into the lives of others we can become discouraged. Take the time to consider what your heavenly Father has done through you as His obedient leader. You just might encourage yourself.

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Encouragement, Leadership, NASCAR

The Need for Speed

images-2NASCAR racing is fast and getting faster.  These cars can cover one full mile of oval track with four turns in 24 seconds!  Being up close and up front is exhilarating when feeling the rush of air currents created, smelling the burning fuel and having to wear ear plugs from the “straight through” exhaust noise.  Eight hundred plus horsepower in the engines times 43 cars sends out a vibration of sheer excitement.  These hyper motor cars are moving faster by you than the human eye can concentrate on any one colorful, decal-filled machine.  The driver concentration must be beyond something that most of us can’t even identify with.  And to continually cover this one mile oval for 400 plus laps, maintaining the speeds needed, holding onto a car that won’t turn, but slides at times, being inches or less from the cars around you…well, that’s just a superhuman feat.  Who says these drivers are not athletes?  You better be in the best of physical and mental shape to handle the resistance in the steering wheel, oppressive heat (most times well over 100 degrees) in the cockpit, the possibility of a crash at any moment, all the while, communicating on the radio with your crew chief and listening to your “spotter” (the person informing you where everyone else is on the track).
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Life seems to be moving faster and faster these days.  Sometimes it’s a rush of excitement and sometimes it’s about protecting yourself from crashing and burning.  It seems to take more concentration today to keep our eyes on the mark and to not become distracted by how quickly our world is changing.  At times there is oppressive heat, noise and resistance as we walk out our faith.  We have so many negative voices yelling at us while we are really trying to hear our Spotter (the Holy Spirit) telling us which way to turn and what areas to avoid.  It takes single-mindedness to stay on the track and in the race.  We need to work on our spiritual conditioning on a daily basis and not fall behind.  No matter how hot it gets or pressure-filled, keeping our eyes on the prize, we will run the race to win and receive that final reward.images

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