Honestly, the most difficult times were when I had to enforce a boundary for my children as their father. Providing the appropriate discipline in the appropriate manner was often a challenge. Is there a difference between punishment and correction?
Punishment has to do with me preserving my right to be angry with my child and keeping my posture as the one in charge. It says that my child must pay for what he or she did wrong. Punishment is often done out of anger lacking any training toward change, put simply, a more powerful parent enforcing his or her will upon the weaker child. Punishment is more about inflicting shame and pain for wrongdoing.
Correction, on the other hand, is not just about reward and punishment; it is more about challenging actions and shaping a will in a life-giving method. It is training out of a spirit of love. It is more about guiding and forming the spirit of the child rather than reinforcing the will of the parent. It is less about anger and more about what’s best for the child.
Correction takes time to administer because it includes instruction toward a different and healthier future. Punishment on the other hand is normally abrupt, more about reaction and often with little thought. Proverbs 29: 15 says that the rod of correction imparts life – correction imparts life! Job 5:17 tells us, “Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.”
As parents, share the responsibility of correction and do not make one parent the mean one and one parent the nice one. Switch it up so your children can identify your father and mother heart.
Perhaps lechery is a word you are not familiar with. If you look into its meaning the dictionary states, “…unrestrained or excessive indulgence of sexual desire.” I have come across this “desire” within some marriages. Usually, it is the man who relentlessly pursues an inordinate desire for sexual relations, but this is not always the case.
Recently we took our five-year-old grandson with us for a weekend away. It wasn’t uncommon for him to say, “I’m bored” or “This is boring.” I forgot how much entertainment a young child needs. It makes me think about how boring and predictable our marriages can become. So much of life is routine oriented, repeated each and every day like that old movie, Groundhog Day starring Bill Murray.
Recently Mary and I celebrated 44 years of marriage. Quite honestly, there have been those
The Bible reveals, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.” (Eccl. 4:9) My marriage has had multiple “good returns” and I am so thankful for them. We’ve had the return of answered prayer together, the return of investment into the lives of others, the return of years of mission work, the return of children and grandchildren, etc. God’s returns just keep on coming.
The glue that holds all this together? Prayer. Learn to pray together. There is no better way to communicate, resolve issues, gain wisdom or “cast your care” than to pray together. You will find the intimacy you have only dreamed of if you’ll pray together. You will discover answers to lifelong problems, to long-term financial disagreements, to present frustrations and to future visions and goals. Prayer is intimacy of the highest degree in marriage as together we reveal our hearts’ desires to God and to one another.
If you have been through a divorce, you know first-hand the devastation and loss that travels with the experience. There all always more damages than one can possibly be prepared for. Often, a divorce has been forced against someone’s own personal will, while the state laws favor the breakup of the marriage and leave them no choice or alternative but a divorce.
However, before this chapter ends, God tells Jeremiah on several occasions to go and share these words of affirmation, “Return, faithless Israel, declares the Lord, I will frown on you no longer for I am merciful…for I am your husband…for I will cure your backsliding.” He, in his faithfulness, takes an unfaithful people back. He just can’t stop showing His mercy, His kindness and His forgiveness. That is the heart of the God we serve. Even though He experiences unfaithfulness, He remained faithful to Israel.
My wife cries. My eyes sweat. There is a difference!
Recently my wife and I had the privilege of spending a weekend with some young married couples on a retreat. Amidst our time together, we desired to ask them a question. That question went something like this: If you were given the chance to share with a younger couple just entering into marriage, what advice would you pass on to them? What follows is some of the excellent input we were given.
Marriage, being God’s design from the beginning, is an amazingly creative design. Every time I am on an airplane sitting shoulder to shoulder with a stranger, I wish it were my wife. It’s just so odd to be that physically close to someone you do not know and have never met. Marriage is as close and intimate as an earthly relationship can become. And the fact of the matter is, over time, it becomes even closer.
Steve Prokopchak 