In 2011 my first twenty-one blogs were titled, “Finding a Life Mate: The Character Traits Worth Looking For.” I loved the idea of starting a blog about something I am passionate about: preparing for marriage. I recently read through all 21 of them once again and did a bit of editing. In doing that, I realized I missed a really important area. That area was spiritual formation through prayer.
In learning to place God first in our lives, my wife and I have discovered that our similar spiritual values and our longing to pray for and with one another are vital to the health of our relationship. Dating to eventually marry a fellow believer with the commonality of core spiritual values has created a oneness in our relationship that is simply unsurpassed to any and all other areas of marriage unity.
When we encounter a difficulty or a bump in the road of marital bliss, our first response is to pray together. The scripture relates that the reason we fight and argue is because we do not pray first. (James 4: 1-2) If we can discover this freedom with the one we are looking at as a life mate, we are well ahead of the game. Why? Because our relationship with Jesus and our ability to pray and look to Him is the most intimate thing we can do together. And, it is by far, the most mature act. Look for a life mate that looks to God first, it will take a lot of pressure off of you.
Start reading those first 21 blogs here. Or, recommend them to a friend who is looking for their life mate.
Is it really possible to find that one special person, your soul mate for life? With the potential of literally millions of people on the earth today and the possibility of tens of thousands of connections, is it even remotely conceivable to find “the one?” Should we be holding out for this one special person…the only one for me? It’s a romantic thought isn’t it? And it seems that God placed that desire within each one of us.
Running out of ideas for inexpensive, but fun date nights? It’s time to celebrate your Valentine, so here are a few ideas, many that my wife and I have enjoyed over the years:
You most likely know about the railings of the Pont des Arts pedestrian bridge in Paris, France. For years couples have been placing pad locks on this railing and then throwing the key into the River Seine as a romantic ritual of their love. Eventually the city had to intervene. It seems that according to those who know such things that the added weight of thousands of locks affected the integrity of the bridge and needed to be removed.
one another and “locked” together in love. In 1975 I said “I do” to my bride, Mary, while at the same time saying “I don’t” to every other woman. We never put a padlock on the bridge in Paris, but we have remained committed in our love to God and then to each other. I guess when God’s word says that His love endures forever (Ps 106:1), He provided a picture to us that love can, at the least, endure a life-time.
We started writing about, training counselors and actually mentoring couples in pre- and postmarital counseling in 1989. Our primary goal as stated in our book, Called Together, Asks the Difficult Questions that all Couples Must Answer Before and After They say “I Do,” was to better prepare couples before marriage and follow-up with them after marriage using this book as a resource in the hands of trained counselors. The ultimate goal of accomplishing this was to have an effect upon the divorce rate of our day. We longed for, worked toward and prayed to see it lowered.
I’ve noticed some things about women and men and their wonderful differences. The women in our lives need to hear from us as men. They need to hear about our lives, our ambitions, our emotions, our issues and they really long to hear our thoughts about them. There is something internal in most women that connects with their spouse’s words, expressions, eye contact, touch and truthfulness about themselves. Women want to hear from their men in order to connect with them. It’s an internal connection and it can be difficult for men who would, more or less, rather have external connections.
In Genesis chapter one we are told that God created both male and female and it is recorded that we, as men and women, are made in His image, in God’s likeness. Our Creator represents both male and female. He certainly knew what He was doing when He created us as image bearers. He did not miss a thing or forget to add something in order for us to connect. Genesis two records that we are bone of bone and flesh of flesh. We are connected and that connection is God-created. We were meant to work together and we were meant to become a single flesh.
Last week we considered 13 ways a wife felt secure within her marriage and I thought it best to not leave the men out of this one. So, here are 15 ways a man can feel secure within his marriage as shared by a husband.
aries concerning relationship with the opposite sex.
My wife, Mary, and I were on a plane traveling to the Midwest and it was the dead of winter. We were conducting our first weekend marriage seminar in this frozen, sub-zero temperature state. We jumped off the plane and onto the small airport tarmac to be greeted by the coldest, howling wind we’ve ever felt. Our eyes began to water and our noses started to run. It was cold.
Steve Prokopchak 