Category Archives: Training

Challenge, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Leadership, Men, Parents, Prayer, Training, Women

Finding Your Happy Pace

It is said that not everyone is a goal setter. There are those who live day-by-day; what will come will come and somehow get away with it. They specialize in not having a plan, being primarily spontaneous, and perhaps generally lacking or maybe even avoiding order. 

Then there are those who not only have a plan and goals, but they also have a list–a daily list. They love their list and especially enjoy crossing off those tasks completed. They feel productive and useful. And when they complete their list, only then can they rest. 

I personally fall into the latter group. I have lists for daily jobs, blogs I want to write, work I want to accomplish, and sermon messages I want to share. Checking off an accomplishment from my list gives me certain satisfaction. At the same time, I feel like I’m not missing things I should not miss. My lists are a reminder. While I am not driven by them, they help me find my pace.

If I don’t get through my list, then the items simply go to another day–no worries. I do not fret over my list if not every line item is accomplished. But I have a secret that I am going to let you in on. 

I start every day with God. I do not begin any list before I spend time with my Friend, my Savior, my Boss, and my Pace Setter. I want my list to honor Him first. And I want Him to be honored before my list. My priority is to “seek first the kingdom of God” and then knowing He will help me accomplish my list. 

The only way to really know someone is to spend time with them. The only way to have true direction is to hear your Father’s voice. He’s waiting to spend time with you, to speak to you, to love you and to share His thoughts so that your daily pace is directed by Him. Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us that there is a time for everything.

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. (Proverbs 16:9)

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Challenge, Issues of the Day, Marriage, Men, Parents, Premarital, Singles, Training, Women

From the First Date to Marriage!

Imagine I tell you that I met the woman of my dreams and on our first date we spent a full day together. We went for coffee, and we talked as we strolled the park. Then we found the perfect lunch spot along the canal front. By late afternoon we had talked constantly and are now holding hands. As a result, over dinner we decided to get married, tie the knot, get hitched!

What are you thinking of me and my first date? What is your immediate reaction, “You’re crazy?” To which I respond, “But you weren’t there; you have no idea of the love we feel.”

Obviously human bonding, relationships toward marriage, cannot occur from one date. It takes time to build a relationship that leads to a lifetime marital commitment.

Now suppose I tell you that I have been dating a young lady for five and a half years without any engagement or promise to marry. What are you thinking? I know I would be wondering if there is any reality for the future of this couple or are they wasting their precious time?

Just because something feels good does not mean it is good. That’s like gambling or playing the lottery. It takes time to build a sustainable relationship toward marriage, in the workplace with a boss or with your neighbor. How do you know that relationship has been built? Trust is at its core.

Without trust, relationships will always feel suspect, tentative or iffy. I cannot say how long it takes to build a trustworthy relationship, but I do know it is longer than a one-day date. We must discover core values, similar or complementary missions and dreams. 

If you’re wondering about your future and marriage, we have a resource to recommend to you. It will walk you through multiple questions to consider, a budget, co-mission, and much, much more. You can find that resource here.

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Challenge, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Men, Small Groups, Training, Women

Holding Our Peace

Have you ever felt as though you faced something impossible–like really daunting? No matter what or how you thought about the situation you felt anxious, helpless, maybe even fearful. 

It was just like that for the Israelites when they found themselves fleeing Pharoah and his army. Exodus chapter 14 relates this familiar story. There they were sandwiched between the uncrossable water of the Red Sea and behind them Pharoah’s chariots with their earth-pounding horses coming closer and closer.

What was Israel’s response to Moses? They cried loudly, “Didn’t we say to you in Egypt, ‘Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians?’ It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!”

Moses told the people to “stand firm” as the Lord would fight for them. But catch the whole verse recorded in Exodus 14:14:

The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace and remain at rest. (AMPC) 

God told Moses to tell the people to “Hold your peace…remain at rest.”

Anxiety, feeling doom and being overwhelmed by the impossible is appropriate when we’re not realizing we can trust the Lord. It’s natural to feel just as the Israelites did. But God reminds us He has this; He’s in control. 

God stopped the sun for Joshua. God closed the mouths of the lions for Daniel. Joseph was released from prison and became second in command. Paul and Silas were singing while incarcerated when the prison doors opened miraculously for them. God can handle your situation as you give it over to Him, rather than finding yourself in anxiety and fear. 

He will fight for you, hold your peace and remain at rest.

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Challenge, Encouragement, Identity, In the news, Insecurity, Issues of the Day, Leadership, Marriage, Men, Postmarital, Singles, Training, Women

Maintaining Sexual Boundaries Within our Marriages and Ministries

It’s easy to cross a line today that should not be crossed, but has anyone ever sat you down and told you what some of those lines are? Most likely not. 

This blog is directed toward the male* leader who finds it confusing when complimented on his looks, clothes, his message or his ministry. Or who is responsible to provide counsel and input to such persons? How does one respond to such persons that offer compliments, especially if they are coming from an attractive woman? How can you not be drawn toward or read more into those words that are so flattering and meant specifically for you? 

(*Note: If you are a female pastoral leader to whom these principles will also apply, feel free to substitute the opposite gender references in this article.)

Let’s discuss some boundary lines that will provide wisdom and direction for you.

  1. Meeting alone with a woman in your office: I do not care how professional you think you are, no one is above being tempted by the evil one. Your heart and the heart of your counselee may be perfectly pure, but the enemy of your soul is fully impure. And for the other side of things… all she needs to do is leave your office and claim inappropriateness. You’ll fully understand the saying, “Guilty until proven innocent.” It can end your ministry. Require your female counselee to bring a friend, a female leader in her life or grab a coworker from your office (that she is comfortable with) to sit in with you.
  2. Do not ready yourself for that appointment. This means how you are dressed, how much cologne you wear, and what language you’ll use. All of these can be subtle messages.
  3. Touch means something. Do not hold her hand, stroke her arm or hug her to “comfort” her. Even teenage woman can be confused by your touch. Yes, people need touch and yes, they need hugs, but not in this environment of vulnerability. 
  4. Do not allow yourself to be cornered in a building or a room alone for a private conversation with the opposite sex. This too is dangerous for you and her. Make sure others are around and you both are visible. 
  5. Do not visit an opposite sex congregant alone. If visiting and you discover her husband or her roommate is not there, do not enter the threshold of that house.
  6. Do your best to not ride alone in a car with a woman who is not your wife or your relative.
  7. Watch your compliments. Compliments about hair, clothing, her recent diet and/or her appearance (especially her shape) in general should be refrained from. Compliments to a child or a senior can be appropriate.
  8. Do not fantasize or dream about woman who you have contact with. These imaginary contacts can actually prepare you for your next connection in a very unhealthy way. 
  9. When you are approached and complimented by that certain woman politely thank her and move on from the conversation. Do not probe further into why she is complimenting you or how she feels about you. When that compliment turns into something like, “Oh, pastor, you’re looking good today” or “Have you been working out lately?” laugh it off and change the subject as soon as you can. Do not acknowledge her compliment or agree with her. 
  10. If you find yourself attracted or see signs of attraction, move away from the situation spiritually, emotionally, and physically. As a leader, you are more than your feelings and thoughts; you are committed to righteousness. Maintain an accountability partner that you can confess to and pray with. Pursue integrity and a proper fear of God. 

Psalm 19:14 is your prayer. “May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight,Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

You are complete in the Lord (Colossians 2:10) and do not need another opposite sex relationship in your life to bring security or esteem to you. 

You have a two-fold focus when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex: God and your wife (if married). The book of Proverbs reminds us to drink water from your own cistern (Proverbs 5:15). 

As we walk in the proper fear of God, we will only desire to obey Him and be faithful to our spouse. 

  • Proverbs 1:7:

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

  • Proverbs 9:10:

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”

  • Proverbs 14:26:

“In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, and His children will have a place of refuge.”


I’ve told you this ahead of time, before it happens, so that when it does happen, the confirmation will deepen your belief in me. I’ll not be talking with you much more like this because the chief of this godless world is about to attack. But don’t worry—he has nothing on me, no claim on me. But so the world might know how thoroughly I love the Father, I am carrying out my Father’s instructions right down to the last detail. “Get up. Let’s go. It’s time to leave here. (John 14:30 The Message)

I love how in this passage Jesus was confident that the enemy “has nothing on me.” May the enemy of your soul have nothing on you as you determine to walk in integrity, high moral character, accountability, the fear of the Lord and eyes only for one woman–your wife!

(Thanks to Joe McKeever for inspiration on some of the thoughts above.)

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Challenge, Children, Encouragement, In the news, Issues of the Day, Parents, Training

Our Children and Their Tech Devices

I am using a tech device as I write this blog. I check my phone for messages multiple times in a day. My only telephone isn’t really a phone but rather a minicomputer. Screen time for many of us has steadily increased year after year. 

And so, we introduce technical devices to our kids. They’re using them in school, and they’re glued to them after school. We’re trying to get them off their devices to eat dinner or do their homework while we’re glued to a screen ourselves. What is the irony in telling a child their screen time is limited when our eyes are attached to our own screen?

A 2016 study by Common Sense Media found that one half of teenagers felt addicted to their mobile devices. And a 2021 study by Common Sense showed a 17% increase to that addiction. They also found teenagers are picking up their phones over 50 times per day!

Children are dying due to social media posts. In a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing on child online safety, Meta founder Mark Zucherburg apologized to parents who say their children experienced bullying or died due to social media content. He said, “I’m sorry for everything you have all been through.” Unfortunately, that apology takes no responsibility for change. 

Social media heavily used by our kids is now connected to mental health issues. Evidence through multiple studies reveals that our children are suffering from cognitive function and compromised learning. Kids are suffering from insomnia, weight loss or gain, vision issues, headaches, anxiety, depression, and loneliness. *

Both South Korea and China now officially recognize “Internet Addiction” as a psychiatric disorder. The Korean government has started “internet rescue camps” for kids “detoxing” from their devices.

Dopamine fuels this addiction, and it is affecting the natural growth of a child’s brain. We are teaching our youth that when stressed, when depressed, or when anxious we can fuel that feeling with some of our own brain chemicals through screen time. Will this addiction lead our children to other addictions with alcohol and drugs, tobacco and food? The research is now showing this to be a strong possibility.

Parents, find activities for your children that are not device related. Get them into sports, science clubs, horseback riding, 4-H, fishing, reading books, hunting, bike riding and the like. Send them out to the woods, the creek and the park to play and to interact with real relationships. Give them your time in teaching them to maintain the yard, wash the dishes, make their bed, wash the car and change the oil. Take them hiking on Sunday afternoon or to a professional baseball game. Find a local church with children’s programs that includes boys’ and girls’ camping and other outdoor challenges while reinforcing godly values. 

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

*Dr Maria Azaret, 2.21.24

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Challenge, Children, Encouragement, Identity, Issues of the Day, Parents, Training

Parents Who Protect Too Much

We’ve all read about how my generation (the boomers) left their home to play with friends after breakfast, returned home for a quick lunch (maybe) and then left again until the dinner bell, whistle or car horn was blowing. It was especially true of summer life. However today, and often rightly so, we’re warned about bad persons, dangerous places, deep ponds, getting lost and dirty environments. We want to protect our kids form hurt and harm and help them avoid accidents. But are we helping them or us as parents?

I was reading a report about this very thing in an article from the journal Science. Interestingly it stated kids who grow up with less sanitary conditions and sanitized environments, being exposed to plants, dirt, trees, creeks, animals and microbes grow up with far less allergies. In other words, “eat some dirt, it might be good for you.” Going too far?

Most professionals in your children’s lives will tell you that they love parental involvement but despise “helicopter parents” or parents who are so involved they are actually “protecting” their children from adapting to the world around them. 

The self-esteem movement began in the 1970’s and by the 1980’s we were giving trophies to the losers of the game. Last place in a race was being rewarded for fear of harming our child’s esteem. We said that everyone was a winner. While self-esteem and self-confidence matter, rewarding failure produces entitlement in our kids. There becomes no incentive in a reward for just showing up and children will naturally and quickly lose interest. 

Kids need consequences and kids need to learn to take responsibility for their actions. What happens to our children if they’re constantly rescued? One day in college (where the parents can’t intervene) they’ll find a professor that gives them the grade they deserve, a failing one. Later they’ll face a boss who doesn’t coddle them and tell them they are special, and they can do anything they want and succeed. Eventually they will start hearing the truth, so why not speak it now while your kids are in their formative years?

Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Both options are a chance to speak truth and love to our children so they can handle both situations appropriately. Stop overprotecting your kids; they need risk, failure, pain, work, and dirt to grow up into well-balanced, non-whining adults. 

Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. 15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. (Ephesians 4:14,15)

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Challenge, Issues of the Day, Men, Parents, Singles, Training, Women

Time or Money, Which is More Valuable?

Do you value money over time or time over money? Perhaps an illustration would help.

Let’s say you are building a new home, and a generous friend offers you $5,000.00 toward the cost of the house build. Then let’s say someone says to you, “I don’t have money to give you, but I can help you build your new home.” Which offer are you more inclined to take, the one who offered financial help or the one who offered free labor?

Someone who offers us their time and talent speaks of a willing commitment toward you and your personal goal. We tend to find that level of commitment of greater value than someone handing us funds. Why? Because money is of relative value. For example, if I offer a twelve-year-old $100.00, they’re going to think they won the lottery. If I offer a wealthy businessperson $100.00, they might laugh at me. 

If we waste our money we can always earn more but having only 24 hours in a day and seven days in a week, we cannot get that back. When we waste time, we waste a valuable commodity that cannot be returned to us, i.e., we simply cannot create more time. 

I have the privilege of attending my grandchildren’s baseball, football, and soccer games and I often observe parents on the sideline with their eyes glued to their cell phones. When their children see them do you think those kids feel valued? That time for the child and the parent is wasted, and they’ll never get it back.

It is said that you can’t buy love. Money won’t and gifts won’t. Love grows because you are investing time into a relationship. Giving our time to serve others is far more meaningful and relationship building than giving our money. While it’s valuable to support a mission team with finance, it’s far more valuable to you and others to actually go and serve on that mission team. 

Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me. (Matthew 25:40)

And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased. (Hebrews 13:16)

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Challenge, Children, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Leadership, Marriage, Men, Parents, Training, Women

Is Marriage First or Is Ministry First?

Church planting and/or pastoral ministry is a huge undertaking, and it is not a 9-5 job. Pastors serve congregants all hours of the day and night. There is a high expectation placed upon a pastor’s life and schedule.

There are births, deaths, weddings, counseling, hospital visits, family visits all beside sermon prep, teaching, preaching and oversight of multiple ministries within the local church. It certainly can be overwhelming and far more than normal fulltime employment. 

For most, pastoral ministry is a calling and a passion. 

However, pastors have a marriage and children who can often feel as though they come after the ministry. Learning to put marriage before ministry can be a daunting challenge. I Timothy 5: 8 reminds us of a biblical priority, “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

Here are some helps to keep pastoral ministry and marriage in their proper perspective:

Love your spouse more than your ministry. If you have a congregation of 100 persons, you will never please everyone. But you do need to please your spouse. If you are prioritizing the needs of your congregation above the needs of your family, you are already missing the mark biblically. Your first church is your marriage and your children.

    Attempting to gain the approval of 100 persons is impossible, but it is not impossible to gain the approval of your immediate family. And here’s something to commit to memory: another can pastor your congregation, but no one else is called to lead and care for your marriage and family. (See Ephesians 5: 25-28.)

    • Pursue intimacy from your marriage and not your ministry. Your ministry is not the one that you are called to romance. Many pastors’ marriages have fallen to pieces because ministry was their mistress. Your spouse is more important than any one congregant and she/he should feel that. If your spouse observes that you’ve been out too many nights, listen and ask what a better balance might be. Specifically talk about evening ministry versus daytime ministry. 

    Create a regular date night and take a weekly family day. When ministry does take the priority and interrupts your marital priorities there will be more understanding given to you from your family. 

    • Pastors have marriage issues just like anyone else. Do not sell yourself short in realizing that your marriage needs marriage retreats and seminars. Do not avoid counseling. If there is a need in your marriage, then lead by example and find appropriate input and help. 
    • Pastors frequently deal with conflicts arising within their church family and are often expected to help resolve issues. That said, you dare not enter the threshold of your home and sink into an easy chair avoiding your own family’s issues. If your family is dealing with a conflict, then you are part of the solution as well. Just because you have heavy situations within the church does not mean you receive a pass from directly dealing with home issues. 

    Dealing with conflict among others means you must develop the skill of listening. That skill is needed in your home also. Do not turn a deaf ear to the cries of your spouse.

    Making sure that your heart is in your home as well as your ministry will serve you well. More than likely your marriage was before your ministry. And your marriage will remain after your ministry, so keep it the highest priority. Your spouse and your children will love and respect you for it. 

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    Challenge, Encouragement, In the news, Issues of the Day, Leadership, Politics, Training

    Social Media Dissension and How You and I Are Part of the Problem

    If you are like me, you’re tempted to cast your vote toward the negative side when there is a social media post about someone you dislike, someone who pushes the values you do not stand for or someone who does not speak for you. And yet, their platform might be larger than yours or mine. It’s a challenge when every known opinion is exposed today for all to read. The sad fact is though, it may not be the truth or the whole truth. Unfortunately, we can get caught up in reacting to a post that may or may not be accurate. (It is well known now that even “fact checkers” can stand with one side.)

    You cast your opinion for all to read on social media. You gain a few likes. It comes and goes with each new day, but your words remain on that page. Now others see how to identify you or how to characterize you. It’s a sad reality of social media and the freedom we have in expressing our opinion on any matter, often of which we have no power or purpose to change.

    When you and I express a strong opinion to which some of your personal relationships disagree with, you have now effectively isolated yourself and/or placed an enmity between you and your friend. At the very least, an antagonism or an animosity to avoid. Even writing this blog forces me to face that reality.

    You have the freedom to speak against anyone including the president of the United States, but is it the right thing to do? You have the freedom (in this nation) to express your opinion about any authority you disagree with. 

    Along those lines, I desire to provide for you some scriptures to reflect upon, to consider before you write that next post. For the believer, there is a different standard than the world. For the Christ follower, our speech is to be reflective of our Lord and His love. When we forget this, we easily entertain the flesh and what feels right rather than what is right. 

    First, always maintain a position of honor toward authority (words in bold for emphasis of the point):

    I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— 2 for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. 3 This is good, and pleases God our Savior, 4 who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. (I Timothy 2:1-4)

    Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, 2 to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone. 9 But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. 10 Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them. (Titus 3:1-2, 9-10)

    Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 5 Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience. 13 Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy.(Romans 13:1,5,13)

    • What is dissension? The Greek word translated as “dissensions” in the New Testament is dichostasia, which literally means “standing apart” or “division.”
    • Dissensions are presented as a negative force that disrupts relationships, creates factions, and hinders the progress of God’s work.
    • Dissension is purposefully creating division and disagreement among relational connections and scripturally determined to be ungodly or sinful.

    Dissension in the scriptures:

    29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.(Ephesians 4:29-32)

    14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

    16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

    19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

    22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:14-23)

    7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.8 Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. (Galatians 6:7-10)

    I learned a long time ago there are three sides to every story of which our media today nor social media present in any unbiased fashion. Those three sides are: your side; the other side and the truth. Unfortuanately, we are inundated with one-sided information today. 

    Remember: In a lawsuit the first to speak seems right, until someone comes forward and cross-examines. (Proverbs 18:17)

    Thank you for hearing God’s heart, identifying with his word and truly desiring to honor His word with your speech. May all we say, may all we write and may all the ways we influence others bring glory to God!

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    Challenge, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Leadership, Marriage, Men, Postmarital, Premarital, Singles, Training, Women

    Can Divorced Persons Serve in Church Leadership?

    I have been asked this question multiple times. I am not the final authority, but one thing I know for sure is that not every divorce is sinful, but most are the result of sin. 

    “Not every divorce is sinful.” Does that statement in and of itself leave room for the divorced to be placed in local church leadership? I believe it does and here’s why.

    Historically divorce was rare in the United States, and it was easy to simply say that divorced persons could not serve in leadership. In other words, in the rare case of divorce, denying leadership responsibilities was easy, quick and involved far less discussion and prayer. But that position can be punishing and made more so out of tradition.

    With the changes in divorce proceedings and forced divorce, i.e., no-fault divorce, we are left with multiple interpretations of scripture. Also, one must decide if they desire to be led by feelings and culture or scriptural precedent. As a counselor, I often heard the following, “How can it be so wrong if it feels so right?”

    Well, lots of things can be wrong that feel right. So, leaving selfishness behind, let’s delve into the question. 

    First, divorce in and of itself is bringing trauma to the family. It rips apart two adults who have become one in covenantal relationship, and it is devastating to children. Kids do not care about 2 +2 if mom and dad are ending their marriage and affecting all the security they need, know, love and crave. As churches desire to be “relevant to culture,” they will cave to the feeling side of divorce. Church leaders in an effort to not offend will compromise the scripture. 

    But God “hates” divorce (Malachi 2:16) because He knows what it does to individuals, families, extended families and ultimately to culture. I love when leaders are compassionate to those who have experienced the trauma of divorce, but that compassion dare not lead to an unscriptural view. 

    Many who experience divorce would tell me that it occurred before they were Christians. However, marriage is not a Christian act; it’s a creation act of God. That means that any and all marriage vows are spoken to God until death do we part. 

    Timing in divorced leaders is important. If the divorce was a year ago or even three plus years ago, there needs to be time, a season to observe the prospective leader’s character and integrity. How have they grown through what occurred them? What was the cause of the divorce and was it scriptural to divorce?  Has there been a remarriage of either party? Was there repentance and ownership taken for their part in the marriage ending? Have they received counseling for the wound(s) of divorce on the soul and spirit?

    Paul told Timothy (I Timothy 3:2,12) that an elder must be the husband of one wife. Did that mean one wife versus multiples wives (polygamy)? Did that mean only one marriage partner for life? Or did that mean the divorced and remarried person is simply disqualified since they are now living with a second wife or husband?

    The literal Greek translation was “one-woman man.” This meant a man who walks in integrity with eyes and faithfulness toward one woman and one woman only–his wife. The focus was and is moral purity. 

    My personal reasoning behind this is that scripture did allow divorce for marital unfaithfulness and for abandonment. The church must focus on Christlikeness in character, longstanding integrity and godly leadership. Why? Because leaders are to be an example to the body of Christ–ones to emulate. 

    Divorce is not God’s plan, and it will never be. With that clearly stated, we live in a fallen world and divorce is a part of it just as multiple other fallen nature things are. Redemption has come through Christ and He redeems the whole of man, not just partial aspects of mankind. We live and we walk in His redemption, through His shed blood and by receiving the forgiveness of our sin. (Ephesians 1:7)

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