Category Archives: Training

Challenge, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Marriage, Men, Parents, Postmarital, Training, Women

The Surprising Changes in the Beliefs and Boundaries of Marriage Today (Part 1)

In my many years of studying, researching, writing, interviewing and counseling in the pre- and postmarital realm, I had little hope I would see secular research come to agree with so many of my findings and beliefs. But the proof just keeps showing up in article after article.

My belief, without waver, is that premarital experiences directly relate to our marriages and that pre-marriage sexual experiences harm the marital experiences of life as a married couple. In the recent past the typical sequence to marriage went something like this: dating, sex, cohabitation, maybe children and then marriage.

Sex and cohabitation before marriage

Psychologist Galena Rhoades PhD and Scott Stanley in an online article titled Before “I Do,” What Do Premarital Experiences Have to Do with Marital Quality Among Today’s Young Adults, now questions this contemporary view of how family life begins in our society. She believes that every serious relationship has certain milestones, like the first kiss to actually coming to a definition of where the relationship is going. She unequivocally states that about 90% of couples are sexual before marriage according to one study (Diner, 2007). She also states that most couples live together before marriage (Copen, Daniels, and Mosher, 2013).

But then she writes this, “Many of them have sex with multiple partners before finding the person they will eventually marry. Do premarital sexual relationships relate to later marital quality? Yes and no. It depends on who you are having sex with. Men and women who only slept with their (future) spouse prior to marriage reported higher marital quality than those who had other sexual partners as well. This doesn’t mean that sex before marriage will doom a marriage, but sex with many different partners may be risky if you’re looking for a high-quality marriage.” 

Dr. Rhoades makes this eye-opening conclusion, “We generally think that having more experience is better [in life] but what we find for relationships is just the opposite.”

Multiple experiences with multiple partners sexually is now actually linked to marriages that are worse off and that having a long history with cohabitating may actually cause you to devalue your spouse. 

Marrying young

Brad Wilcox, a director of the National Marriage Project and Professor of Sociology at the University of Virginia wrote an article on how marrying young (by young I mean early 20’s) and without cohabitating “seems merited.” He wrote, “Our analyses indicate that religious men and women who married in their twenties without cohabitating first–have the lowest odds of divorce in America today.” Read that last sentence again, please.

What is it that the author of this study suspected as to why the success rate? “We suspect one advantage the religious singles in their twenties have over the secular peers is that they are more likely to have access to a pool of men and women who are ready to tie the knot and share their vision of a family-focused life.”

It has been believed and practiced for decades that a college education with a lot of dating, partying, fun, one-night stands and living together and then finally career all came first before settling down with a commitment to marriage. The statistic of living together (70%) before marriage is scary high. But Professor Wilcox wrote this, “But the conventional wisdom here is wrong: Americans who cohabit before marriage are less likely to be happily married and more likely to break up.” In fact, he says that couples who do cohabitate have a 15% more likely chance of divorce than those who do not.

Milestones in dating and pre-marriage days in a couple’s life means something because decisions mean something. We can remember when our spouse first spoke the words, “I love you.” We can recall where we were when we became engaged. We either loved or endured premarital counseling, but it was another milestone, a decision we made for us and our success in marriage. 

Fifty years of marriage 

Over 50 years ago my wife and I abstained sexually out of total love, commitment and respect for one another–keeping for marriage what belongs only to marriage. We did not cohabitate because we knew this one act reduces the chances of a healthy lifelong marriage. We had a large wedding because we wanted others to celebrate with us, hold us accountable and enter into our joy of oneness. We went on a two-week honeymoon dropping out of life as we knew it to simply work on becoming one. We did not know one another intimately (sexually) prior to marriage, but we discovered the joy of purity meeting purity night after night.

It was not a college education, financial security, sexual experiences or age that helped to create these milestones, it was love for God and a desire to obey His truth. We were married in our early twenties and we continue to celebrate milestones in our marriage. We are celebrating the milestone of half a century of marriage throughout this year and we are thankful for a godly foundation.

Standard
Challenge, Encouragement, Identity, Insecurity, Issues of the Day, Leadership, Training

Critics, We All Have Them

Writing anything and then publishing or posting online places you in a position for targeted criticism. What you write will most likely be helpful for many (if that’s your aim), but there are those who were born to be your personal critic. 

I wrote an article on pre- and postmarital counseling for a national magazine once and the following month the only letters to the editor they printed about my article were negative ones. I asked the editor of the magazine if there were any positive or affirming letters about the article and they replied, “Oh yeah, but that doesn’t sell magazines.” Thanks!

Write anything on social media and you’ll have the critic police letting you know everything you said was incorrect and you should be stopped immediately. Never mind that they are under the delusional thought they’re always right and their opinion is the only one that counts. 

It’s disheartening to work so hard on something, to be assured that your facts are straight and noted and that you incorporated multiple pre-readers only to have someone tear it all to pieces. 

And reviews? Forget about it! Having books listed on Amazon opens you to all kinds of inaccurate cruelty. I once received a one-star rating on a book because they looked at one appendix and then judged the whole book on why you shouldn’t buy it based on that information only. And there is no chance of fighting with Amazon about misleading reviews. Seems they love the controversy as well. 

Jesus was criticized once for healing a man with a withered hand on the Sabbath. They said He was “working” on the Sabbath. No matter what you do you’ll find critics. Even if you change something to suit them, they will find something else to criticize. 

I have some good news for you. You do not need their approval. You are not required to change for your critics. Can there be some truth in what they say? Yes, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are not your cheerleaders. Keep your focus on what God has called you to and work as unto Him.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. Colossians 3:23 (NIV)

Everyone has a right to their opinion, and you have the right to either listen to it or not.

Standard
Challenge, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Training

Do You Know How to Receive?

Many of us love to give, to sow and to help others. Why wouldn’t we? Giving is fun, it’s rewarding and there’s always a return on our investment made in the lives of others. But how do you feel about receiving? Does it make you uncomfortable? Do you feel embarrassed when someone offers you a gift? Is receiving difficult for you?

Giving is one thing; receiving is another. However, within the kingdom of God there is an unlimited supply and if you’re uncomfortable with receiving, you’re going to spend a lot of time in discomfort.

Let me illustrate. If I tell you I have a thousand gallons of gasoline to give away and instruct you to bring a container, what size container are you going to bring me?

If you bring a one-gallon container, you’ll receive one gallon of fuel. If you find a five-gallon container, you’ll go home with five gallons, but if you bring a 55-gallon metal drum you’ll receive 55-gallons of gasoline. Whatever size container you bring, you must be willing to receive that much to participate in my offer.

Often, my wife and I are given opportunity to share with anyone who will listen about the miracle house we have lived in for the past 38 years and how we received this home from our real-estate agent, our heavenly Father. They love our story but sometimes fail to see the application. Their thinking goes like this, “We can’t afford a home right now, the prices and the interest rates are too high and there are too many home buyers to compete with.” Their container is too small as is their god.

Our God has an unlimited supply of land, houses, gasoline or whatever resource we’re in need of. We can increase our capacity to receive if we increase our container – our faith. If we’ll enlarge our container, we’ll be able to receive more. Jesus told us that according to our faith, it will be done (Matthew 9:29).

What are you expecting to receive? Stop limiting God because with Him all things are possible according to His will. He possesses an immeasurable and an unlimited supply.    

Standard
Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Identity, Issues of the Day, Men, Parents, Singles, Small Groups, Training, Women

Shame: A Tool of God or the Enemy?

Many of us, if not all of us, are well acquainted with the emotional upheaval of shame. Since almost the beginning of our existence on earth, shame has been present. 

Does shame serve a purpose? Is there a biblical or spiritual reason for shame? Is shame always considered something bad? Can shame motivate us? Should Christians ever accept feelings of shame?

Where it all began

God created a perfect world and placed mankind into a perfect garden – His garden. With the fall of man, came what is known today as the emotion of shame. The Lord God called to Adam and asked him where he was. God couldn’t find him? Not so. God could not find the Adam that previously faced Him without shame and fear. 

“He [Adam] answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid. And he [God] said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” (Genesis 3:10-11)

Fear and shame of Adam’s nakedness filled his heart, and the separation from his Maker began. Then, in response to the shame they felt, what does God do for Adam and Eve? By verse 21, God was handcrafting garments for Adam and Eve. Why? To cover their nakedness and to remove shame.

Just what is shame?

Because we as humankind are so full of pride when we fail or we sin, our pride creates a desire to hide just as Adam did. We failed and we don’t know how to deal with the feelings we feel. As God’s creation who desired to be like God, we fail to live up to our own expectations, the expectations of others, and/or what we feel God expects. And that is enough to bring about feelings of shame and disappointment. 

Shame creates false thinking like: I am a bad person because of my failure. I will never be good enough. I deserve to feel bad because I constantly come up short. I am worthless. I’ve been such a fool. Shame is something we place upon ourselves when we have thoughts like these.

I dealt with shame

As a child growing up in the 1950’s and 1960’s, parents often used shame as a means of attempting to correct wrong behavior. They thought they could shame us into better or more appropriate responses. They did this through words like, “You should be ashamed of yourself, acting like that.” Or we often heard this one, “What are you, stupid?” And then there was this one, “How could you be so dumb?” Shame-filled words do not administer correction, they create a defeated self-concept of oneself that can eventually lead to a very low esteem or even self-punishment.

Our Lord does bring discipline and correction to us, but He does it in a life-giving, loving way. His goal is not to crush our spirit with the use of shame, but to correct in a spirit of hope and encouragement to change our beliefs, thoughts and actions. 

Why then do Christians struggle with shame?

For many of us who have trusted in Jesus for our salvation, shame can still plague us. The enemy of our soul wants to remind us of our past deeds, sins, mistakes and then bring back the familiar feelings of shame. Often there are voices and scenes stuck in our heads with old video messages of shame-filled words that multiple people spoke over us. We often give in to those false messages and we allow these persons and their voices to have power over us.

It’s interesting that we are told in the scriptures our heavenly Father does not hold shame or sin over us. Why? Because it is not a motivator for becoming shame-free. In fact, God’s word says, “Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
and everlasting joy will be yours.” (Isaiah 61:7) Instead of shame…everlasting joy.

Also, through divine inspiration, the prophet Isaiah wrote these power-filled words: “Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrows of your widowhood.” (54:4)

As Christians, we can still struggle with shame because we do not realize the price that our Savior paid for that shame. How can I be so confident of that? Listen to what Paul wrote to the Roman church, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” (Romans 10:11) The more we believe God’s word (His promises and not the tapes in our head from our former misbeliefs), the more truth that we store in our spirit, and the more faith and hope we have in the penalty Jesus paid. Consequently, the freer we become of shame.

Again, Peter harmonizes with Paul and writes, “For in Scripture it says: ‘See I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame.’” (I Peter 2:6)

Stop hiding

Adam and Eve hid, and we’ve been hiding from God ever since. There is only one place that we are called to hide, only one place where we can rid ourselves of shame, and only one place where there is no longer any fear that leads to shame: “…fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2)

Jesus was led like a sheep to the slaughter, arrested, mocked, spit on, beaten, insulted, given a crown of thorns – all a picture that was full of shame and humiliation. Jesus chose to obey His Father as He bore our shame and our guilt through a torturous and agonizing death.

There is no other place to go for freedom, for atonement, and for cleansing of our shame. Shame always says we’re guilty, but from the cross Jesus said that guilt and shame were paid for. He died for shame-filled sexual sin, theft, out of control anger, abuse, and anything else you can name from your life. When we repent of our sin and receive Him as our Savior, He pronounces over us that the penalty for our sin, the guilt, the shame, the menicing weakness we feel is covered by His blood and sacrifice on the cross. And from that cross He says, “Shame off of you!”

Jesus is the only one that we can trust to deal with our shame. He helps us to flee from the sin-filled choices we once made and lifestyles we once lived. In desiring to please Him, we can turn over those old video files and request that they be erased – permanently. We no longer need to feel ashamed.

“In you oh Lord, I put my trust; let me never be ashamed; deliver me in your righteousness.” (Psalm 31:1)

“In you, Lord, I have refuge; let me never be put to shame.” (Psalm 71:1)

“I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame,  nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause.” (Psalm 25:2,3)

Choose a life of joy, free of condemnation

As we confess our sin, our fear, and our shame, believe God to release you of those burdens. Forgive those persons who spoke words of shame over you. Often those persons spoke out of their own shame-filled souls. Make use of the scriptures in this article to counteract the lies and the misbeliefs of your past. Remember that it is not what others think of you, it’s what your heavenly Father thinks of you and what Christ has done for you on the cross. Finally, live out the truth of this verse, “There is, therefore, now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” (Romans 8:1)

“Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.”(Psalm 34:5)

Standard
Challenge, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Marriage, Men, Parents, Postmarital, Prayer, Premarital, Training, Women

Building Intimacy Through Couple Prayer

Too often Christian couples are not praying together outside of a prayer before their meal. Many leadership couples are not praying together consistently. Some couples tend to focus on the barriers of prayer rather than prayer itself. Barriers like, “We’re too busy; our children’s needs come first; we’re too tired; I am waiting on my spouse to initiate prayer,” etc.

Besides speaking to God, just what does prayer in our marriage accomplish?

  • A spiritual intimacy that is greater than sexual intimacy
  • Love
  • Faith
  • Thankfulness
  • Appreciation
  • Protection/covering
  • Honesty
  • Friendship
  • Communication
  • Unity
  • Agreement
  • Openness/vulnerability
  • Heart connections
  • Healing

To take it to an even deeper level, praying with our spouse can reduce:

  • Stress/tension
  • Frustration/anger
  • Disagreement as we agree in prayer
  • Personal judgements as we hear each other’s heart

Prayer with our marriage partner fulfills the scripture found in Matthew 18:19, “If any two will agree in prayer it will be done…” Couple prayer increases two walking together in agreement – “How shall two walk together unless they agree to do so.” (Amos 3:3)

What are some reasons that couples are not engaging in prayer together? Here are a few:

  • They do not know how to pray or how to pray together.
  • It’s just too intimate.
  • It’s too risky – putting our hearts out there or exposing our greatest needs.
  • Feeling inadequate or awkward in prayer.
  • Unwilling to take or make sufficient time.  
  • Trust/mistrust – what will my spouse do with the information I share in prayer?
  • Fear of exposure.

Honestly, how can we walk together without prayer in our lives? How can we grow in intimacy without engaging in spiritual intimacy first? Start by taking five minutes (once a day or once a week) to give God thanks and then laying your requests at His alter. It will change you and it will radically change your marriage!

Standard
Challenge, Encouragement, History, Issues of the Day, Marriage, Men, Training, Women

Is Marriage Christian?

Marriage is not Christian, per se; it is a creation act of God.  Marriage was His idea from the beginning, as the cultures and religions of the world marry.  But the evil one has provided numerous counterfeits for marriage, e.g., cohabitation, numerous ongoing sexual partners, dating with an ongoing emphasis of breaking up and hurting others.  Keep in mind, there can only be a counterfeit if there is a real. You and I were created for a very real relationship with God and others and yet it seems to be relationships that we struggle with the most.  

Ninety three percent of Americans rate having a happy marriage as one of the most important objectives in life.  In 1992, the number one aspiration of high schoolers was having a good marriage and family life.  College students today are desperate to have only one marriage.  Over 70% of adult Americans believe that marriage is a lifelong commitment that should not be ended unless under extreme circumstances.  Get this: 85% of divorced and separated persons still believe that marriage is for life.  

Then why is cohabitation so prevalent today?  There is no legal or social pressure today against cohabitation.  The latest census figures show four million couples (men and women and not same-sex couples) are living together.  That is 8 times as many couples as in 1970.  The slide started with less moral prohibition against premarital sex in our culture, which opened the door to living together unmarried.  The more culture practices the abnormal, the more normal it becomes, e.g., abortion, divorce, cohabitation, etc. Cohabitation is popular with the loss of the negative stigma, the lack of commitment, the lack of well-defined responsibilities and authority and it provides the idea of an easy exit when it does not work out.

But the human heart craves security, commitment and a marriage enforced by love and the law, as well as social custom.  We want and need love and a vow spoken to commitment is the strongest contract we have…called a covenant in the scriptures.  Covenant is stronger than contract.  Contracts are written to be broken.  Covenant, if broken under Old Testament law, was certain death.  Marriage is not the end of freedom; it is the beginning of freedom to join our hearts and sprits together to fulfill God’s mission together in becoming one.  It is not about loss of freedom in any form, but about gaining a partner to support and be supported, to trust and be trusted, to provoke to growth and to give life to family.

Marriage changes life, behavior, social standing, expectations, relationships, and even tax forms.  It is making decisions jointly and growing as a long-term team.  Marriage is like long-term care insurance.  It promises to remain strong in sickness and in health.  It is a partnership to protect, to share equally, to serve, to provide for the needs of one another without selfish demand.  

(Thanks to the book, A Case for Marriage, by Linda Waite; Maggie Gallagher for the above statistics.)

Standard
Challenge, Children, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Just for fun, Marriage, Men, Parents, Training, Women

Developing Family Rhythms

Professionals are telling us that family rhythms are missing in today’s households. What are family rhythms? Those things that your family does to build relationship, maintain consistent values and grow in family sharing and caring. 

Family rhythms cause us to connect with each member of the family. Everyone is important and everyone gets to be heard. Rhythms create space for valuing, teaching and training. Rhythms help create family culture, the ‘who’ we are as a family. 

What are family rhythms? Let me list a few:

  • Having a meal or two together every day
  • Taking a weekly family sabbath
  • Establishing a game night
  • Enjoying a BIG breakfast Saturday mornings
  • Dating your children and your spouse
  • Family worship
  • Reading a book together that all can enjoy
  • Quarterly get-aways for a day or overnight
  • Weekly small group connections or youth group
  • Family work time, e.g., cleaning the house or mowing the yard together
  • Annual family vacations
  • A monthly movie night with popcorn
  • Celebrating birthdays wholeheartedly

Before we’re called to save the world we need to save our families, the God-created foundation of our world. What do you desire your children to say about their upbringing one day? Plant those seeds now in their lives. Give them every reason in the world to love their family and to make their friends jealous. 

Speaking of their friends. Our children often invited their friends on our family vacations. We loved that! It told us our kids thought enough of our family time together to invite their friends so they too could enjoy that time together. And enjoy those times we did.

Standard
Challenge, Children, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Marriage, Men, Parents, Training, Women

Wearing Multiple Hats

How many hats do you wear? Let’s see: there’s our work hat, our husband/wife hat, our mother/father hat, our hobby hat, our grandmother or grandfather hat – you get the picture. We all wear multiple hats. A problem can arise when we are walking into our kitchen at home while still wearing our work hat. Or, we’re wearing our father hat in our work meeting, treating our staff like our kids. 

How do you successfully change from your work hat to your spouse/parent hat before walking in the door? I served as a marriage and family counselor for over fifteen years. I struggled listening to marital issues or abuse issues all day and then arriving home ready to be a father and husband. Some days I felt overwhelmed with other people’s problems and could be guilty of “carrying” them home with me. It is not a good scenario for anyone. What to do…

  • First, I had a 35 – 40-minute drive between my home and my office. I began to use it to decompress. We need space between our work and our home so we can successfully change hats. I feel for that farmer who walks into his kitchen directly from his barn where he had to deal with an uncooperative milk cow. Intentionally take the time to pray and to give your day to God. Give each person, each issue, your boss and coworker to God. Hand over your client’s issues or your congregant’s needs to your heavenly Father. You cannot carry them through the threshold of your residence or your mind will not arrive with your body. 
  • Secondly, give God thanks for your job, the problems there and those persons you work with. Have a thankful heart even in the midst of stress-filled days. 
  • Further, change focus by beginning to think about the needs of your spouse and your children. Doing this will move your thoughts from work or wherever you are coming from to your family.
  • If there were major issues that will carry over to the next day, ask God for solutions and then expect to hear from Him. When you hear, write them down and then leave them on that piece of paper until tomorrow. 
  • Stay off of your phone and give your attention to your family. Give your full attention so your spouse and children know you’re not at work, rather you’re fully engaged with them. 

Lastly, while it might seem counterproductive to what you have just read, do allow yourself to share an issue from your day at dinner around the table with your family. They do not need the names or the details, but they do need to hear that your workplace is not perfect and there are issues to discuss. That way your children will not just shrug their shoulders when asked to talk about their school day; they’ll follow your example of sharing in a vulnerable way.  

Standard
Challenge, Encouragement, In the news, Issues of the Day, Prayer, Training

Praying for Your Nation (Part II)

Praying for our nation is a biblical mandate! Let’s be faithful and faith-filled as we pray.

We wage war not against flesh and blood

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (II Corinthians 10:3-5)

As an active body of believers and those who do not shy away from warfare, we do wage war against the evil one. It is right and it is appropriate to use our authority given to us by the Holy Spirit to demolish strongholds along with anything that sets itself against the knowledge of God!

Pray for peace-filled elections and God’s mercy

We do not have to accept turmoil, rioting and civil unrest. God is bigger than that. We can lean on the faithfulness of God along with His mercy; it’s new every morning. 

Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23) 

Pray for the integrity of our elected leaders

Pray for leaders who realize they cannot do what they are elected to do without the grace and mercy of their God. Pray for their salvation and for a revelation of the love of God for them, the office they hold and the nation they serve. 

There is no perfect leader and there is no perfect nation. Without God at the center, imperfection reigns. We each need to search our own heart and allow God to test us. Integrity starts with you and me.

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-24)

Pray in the Spirit

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. (Ephesians 6:18)

When we pray in the Spirit and in our prayer language, the enemy is unknowing to our prayer, to our intercession, our groaning for our nation. God will direct the heart of those we are praying for. Pray Proverbs 21:1.

In the Lord’s hand the king’s heart is a stream of water that he channels toward all who please him.

Prayer is NOT inaction

Prayer is literally turning things over to God. It is saying we can’t handle it all. Prayer is walking away from worry and anxiety and putting our future into the hands of our living and loving God. Prayer is faith in action. Prayer is grappling with all of our concerns and then personalizing those concerns into a petition directed by Holy Spirit to our heavenly Father. Prayer is confessing our inability while at the same time confessing His ability in each and every situation.

  • We are to pray about everything (Philippians 4:6). 
  • We are to pray at all times (I Thessalonians 5:17). 
  • We are to confess out sins and pray for one another (James 5:17). 
  • We are to not be anxious, but pray (Philippians 4:6). 
  • We are to pour our hearts out to God (Psalms 62:8). 

Here is one of the best statements I have read when it comes to worry vs. prayer: “Worry is a conversation you have with yourself about things you cannot change. Prayer is a conversation you have with God about things He can change.” (source unknown)

Most times when we are praying, we are praying for our needs and our desires. We ask God for a lot of things. When is the last time you prayed asking God what He wants from you? How would He direct you to pray for your nation?

Standard
Challenge, Encouragement, In the news, Issues of the Day, Prayer, Training

Praying for Your Nation (Part I)

                                   

There is a uniquely interesting scripture located in the book of Luke, chapter eighteen. It begins with an amazing promise and ends with one of the scariest questions from the Bible. 

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. 2 He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. 3 And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’

4 “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, 5 yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’”

6 And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7 And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8 I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”

Persistent prayer is the theme that Jesus was teaching. But He ends with a question and that question is a frightening one, a daunting one: will He find faith on the earth when He returns? Faith for what? For this article, our topic will be be faith and hope for our nation. 

It is being reported by Time magazine there are something like 64 nations which will have elections this year, along with the European Union representing 49% of the world’s population. Elections can change the course of a nation for years to come. These national elections can be polarizing, create disunity governmentally and in our communities. Even families today are not immune from political separation. It can be devastating to relationships at so many levels.

So how do we know that God is hearing our prayer for our nation? Have you read Psalm 2:8? “Ask of Me, and I will give you the nations as your inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for your possession.” All we have to do is ask, just like the persistent widow asked.

The scriptural mandate of prayer for our nation

I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— 2 for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. 3 This is good, and pleases God our Savior… (I Timothy 2:1-3)

As His church, we release the power of God to our nation in prayer. This scripture states that praying in this way pleases God our Savior. In other words, He desires us to pray in this way. In our intercession we pray God’s word and we release the Spirit of God to do what He does so well. We declare the truth of His word in our prayers by Christ’s name, in His authority.

Praying for our nation or the nations is a macro level prayer effort. We are looking beyond our region, our city and our neighborhood. We are compelled to seek a higher ground in prayer in order to “see” and then petition our Father for what He sees. 

Prayer keeps our heart right

You cannot speak against your nation if you are at the same time praying for your nation. You cannot speak ill will of a political candidate if you are praying for him/her. Prayer keeps our heart right. 

Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper. (Jeremiah 29:7)

Pray even if you do not know what to pray

The Spirit of God will guide you. 

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. (Romans 8:26)

It’s simple to realize that the immediate response from heaven is not, “Okay, now that you have petitioned Me, let’s bring the answer to that prayer.” Perhaps it’s more like our faithful and faith-filled consistent prayer along with others joining us which weakens the enemy and strengthens the resolve of God. As more and more people are praying, more and more is stirred up in the heavenlies. 

We are longing for, praying for repentance

I have listened attentively, but they do not say what is right. None of them repent of their wickedness, saying, “What have I done?” Each pursues their own course like a horse charging into battle. (Jeremiah 8:6)

There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death. (Proverbs 14:12)

Our nation needs an awakening. Our hearts and our minds need cleansing. We need to pound heaven with our own repentance and request that of our nation beginning with our national leaders. Pray for public repentance, house to house repentance and an unveiling of what is holding people back from confessing their sin to God. 

Further, ask God to bring godly sorrow to repentance. 

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. (II Corinthians 7:10)

Please stay tuned for part II of this important message next week.

Standard