Category Archives: Training

Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Issues of the Day, Leadership, Men, Parents, Training, Women

Raising Your Pain Tolerance; The Good Part of Pain (Part III)

We were created to feel pain. Pain in our body is an indicator, a warning that something needs medical attention or intervention. Pain is often a danger signal. It forces a response from us. 

Unfortunately, most persons fear pain, especially emotional pain. Think of losing that loved one, the engagement breakup, or the loss of a job. Often we try to avoid pain; it’s just too, simply put, painful. Perhaps God desires to take us through it? 

Is it really the fear of what happens in our life or is it the fear of the pain that follows significant and pain-filled life experiences that we would rather avoid? 

In this blog, I want us to consider how pain helps to build some very important things in each of us and how it requires our attention. 

God never wastes pain in our lives: Every leader in the Bible went through traumatic and painful experiences. Think of Joseph, Job and Daniel. No Christ follower was or is exempt of pain. God uses it to build us spiritually, emotionally and physically. He builds character through pain-filled life experiences. He often allows tests through those areas where we are weak. Pain produces in us more self-awareness and self-knowledge. If we listen to it, we will learn and grow. Why? Because pain is a strengthener. Seasoned leaders have learned to use the pain in their lives to strengthen their leadership abilities. 

Pain is a strengthener: Pain makes us stronger and tougher. Think of the weightlifter. As they push against the pain, they are building muscle mass. Resistance is a strengthener.  Pain is a precursor to healing. We tend to push against pain, but the pain we can tolerate will strengthen us for the next painful situation we find ourselves in. When we persevere, endure and grow through the pain, it is strengthening us. You will handle pain more effectively in the future. You will handle life challenges more efficiently. 

Pain keeps us humble: It builds humility in us by causing us to be less prideful and more real. We often tend to think well of ourselves and sorry for that poor person who is suffering. Pain lets us know it CAN happen to us. It CAN be a reality check. Pain in our lives will help to build compassion and empathy for others. It hopefully builds a greater sense of love for others and what they go through in life. Often we are looking for empathy because we want significant persons in our lives to know we’re in pain. We need them to notice and to “give us a break.” But God is working humility in our lives.

Pain can be self-inflicted: If it is self-inflicted through our reckless mistakes, then we suffer the consequences and learn from those mistakes. But sometimes pain is self-inflicted because we need to recover from surgery, lose weight or grow in more grace-filled responses. This self-inflicted pain for growth is a positive pain that produces a greater good in our lives. 

Pain teaches self-discipline: We need discipline in our lives. We need boundaries. If we suffered from the lack of control in some area of life, the pain of self-discipline can get us back on track. When we fail in a life discipline or goal, it is not a bad thing to suffer pain. This form of pain can teach us to readjust or plan another strategy. 

Pain grows leadership qualities: The more pain we work through, the greater level of pain tolerance we will experience. The greater level of pain tolerance we grow, the greater level of leadership capacity we will grow. Low tolerance…the lower level of leadership.

Pain draws boundaries: When someone is abusing you, it is appropriate to draw a boundary. Pain inflicted upon us for selfish gain or gratification should cause a healthy reaction of setting a boundary from that unhealthy person. Pain will sharpen your senses and cause a greater alertness to yourself and to others. 

Further, to go through personal pain we will appreciate the non-painful times more. We will appreciate pleasure and happiness more. When we suffer the pain of heartache, we will appreciate even more the deep and joyful feeling of love. If we go to great lengths to avoid pain, we might miss what God is wanting to build in our lives. 

Take responsibility for the pain in your life. Long-term victims remain long-term victims by blaming others for their pain. While others have inflicted the pain, at some point we will have to face it and mature through it rather than blaming others. The longer we blame others for our pain, the longer we can stay stuck in our pain.

One day there will be no more pain. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)

Until then, “…We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character hope.” (Romans 5:3)

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Challenge, Encouragement, Leadership, Men, Singles, Training, Women

Raising Your Pain Tolerance (Knee Surgery Part II)

Experiencing the replacement of a knee cannot be lightly categorized as a simple, in-and-out procedure. It has meant being out of commission for a season. It has meant unrivaled pain. It has meant disciplining oneself to faithfully do physical therapy (aka, “personal torture”) exercises. And, it has meant having to be patient with the healing process.

If you are listening to your thoughts about what you are experiencing while you are experiencing it, you can learn something about yourself and you can learn some things about life. What follows are some life lessons I learned while in the recovery process that have also become life applications. 

I can’t count how many people said to me, “No pain; no gain.” I told my wife one day that if one more person says those words to me, I think I am going to give them some pain. But that old saying is literally true. Recovery from surgery can be painful and it’s why some patients give up. Simply put, it just hurts too much.

I was listening to a teaching about how pain in our lives – all pain – produces something: a higher pain tolerance. I felt that those words were directly from God for me. He was asking me to develop a higher pain tolerance physically, yes, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You see, the higher our tolerance, the less offended we can become, the less offensive we will be. With a higher pain tolerance, we can return good for evil, we can love in greater measure and we can tolerate far more irritants (or irritating persons). 

Speaking of irritants, when someone is experiencing pain, it is difficult to be ones normal self. Small irritations can become enlarged rather quickly. However, pain can grant God permission to show me, me. When in pain, inhibitions are lowered and what’s really inside is allowed to surface. Overall, not a bad thing. 

Here’s another saying we often have to endure post surgery, “Push through the pain.” Yes, it hurts, but you must push through the hurt so you can become stronger. Who on earth elects to do that? How many of us relish inflicting pain upon ourselves no matter the results? I can quickly throw the desired results out the window if it includes suffering. Funny that Jesus told us in this world we would suffer pain, we would have trials and tribulation, but He has overcome the world. (See John 16:33.)

I could have blamed my smiling therapist for the hurt she inflicted. But the reality was my mindset had to change to how the hurt, the pain was actually good for me. Said another way: it hurts for my good. The therapist is inflicting pain, but for my personal strengthening, which ultimately brings healing.

Imagine actually going back to someone who deeply hurt you and saying to them, “Thanks for the hurt you inflicted upon me. Because of it, I have grown in my walk with Christ and I am learning patience and discipline as my pain tolerance increases.” But that is exactly what is happening as you suffer. Hebrews twelve reveals, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

How has personal pain helped to grow you?

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Challenge, Issues of the Day, Men, Training, Women

Prayer in the OR – Knee Replacement Surgery

I recently experienced a total left knee replacement. Three weeks ago, my wife and I entered the surgery center at 6:15 AM and left just before noon to return home. Yes, home the same day only hours after major surgery. It’s pretty amazing what medical science can do today and the human body can endure.

After being placed on the gurney, after anesthesia began and after a spinal was administered, I was almost out of it when I blurted out with no inhibition and for no planned reason, “Can someone here pray before surgery begins, please?” All six persons in that room began to look around at each other and say things like, “Not me.” 

Finally, one young man completely covered from head to toe in an operating room “space suit” came to me and said, “I will, Steve.” The last words I remember were, “In Jesus’ name, amen.” I was out and ready to receive my bionic knee. 

God has His people stationed everywhere. My primary nurse that day, Gwen, was a lovely Christian woman who took superb care of me with the utmost gentleness and peace-filled communication. 

I am learning a lot through this season and I will write more about that later. My point today? Here it is: “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as unto the Lord and not unto men.” (Colossians 3:23)

You may never know how you have touched a life in your workplace or your neighborhood! Take seriously your station in life right now and ask God how you can be an encouragement to others.

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Challenge, Issues of the Day, Marriage, Men, Postmarital, Small Groups, Training, Women

A Marriage Mentoring Group is Born

Multiple younger couples were either coming to us or we were having them over to our home for a meal. It seemed apparent they were looking for marriage mentors, a spiritual mom and dad to walk with them and share some helpful marriage principles. 

And so, it began. Ten groups and ten years later we are still excited about marriage mentoring. We grab four couples, hand picking them to invite to our group. They should not be on the verge of divorce or in desperate need of counseling. This is not a counseling group. This is a group that receives care, concern and input, but also gives it to the other couples. It is their group, not ours. My wife and I are the facilitators. 

We use our book Staying Together, Marriage: A Lifelong Affair and go through it chapter by chapter. We begin in February and end the following January on a weekend retreat together. We meet once per month on a Tuesday evening with dinner together; everyone helps with the meal. 

That first hour around the table is full of reporting about the last month, prayer requests, jokes and laughter, fun and fellowship. The following two hours are in our living room sharing our experiences and questions in marriage provoked by the reading assignment. We laugh, we cry and we pray. We talk, we get passionate and we get real about our lives as married couples. 

Mary, my wife says, “This is my very favorite group all month. We love these ‘kids’ and we love their authentic, truth-filled responses.” If you are a happily married, seasoned couple with a heart for marriage, you can duplicate this very group. Young couples are just waiting to be asked. They are a hungry generation looking for help to succeed in their marriages. They long for parents who will encourage them, tell them they’re wrong at times and provide loving examples to them. The book will help you and guide you with plenty of questions, but it will take a back seat to the relationships that are built. 

Do you want the divorce statistics to decrease? Then take my challenge and start your own marriage mentoring group. Meet consistently once a month for one year and you will change lives and build memories for a lifetime. 

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Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Issues of the Day, Leadership, Training

Leadership Fatigue and Burnout

I can recall an important part of a message that I heard many years ago. I remember one small but impacting statement the speaker made. It went like this: “If the evil one cannot move you away from God, he’ll push you into God!”

What does that mean? 

It means he is relentless at letting you know you’re not doing enough, not praying enough, not studying the Bible enough, and not testifying enough. If he can push you to believe these lies, he can discourage you and cause you to think you simply are not enough. 

The end result is spiritual exhaustion, physical depletion and emotional discouragement. And that can affect your work, your ministry, your marriage and your family. In the last decade over 29,000 evangelical pastors have left the pastorate. Lifeway Research has noted that 71% of churches have no plan for sabbaticals; 66% lack a support group for the pastor’s family and 33% do not have a list of counselors for referrals. 

Leaders burn out, fail and fall. Our leaders are sheep as well and we all need shepherds in our life. 

That’s where sabbaticals come in. It’s not a new idea, just one that is rarely utilized. In the Monterey Herald newspaper article “Beating Burnout,” writer Cindy Kirschner Goodman reports, “Among the Fortune 100 Best Places to Work, 22 companies boast of offering a fully paid sabbatical.” She writes, “These companies find if they don’t do something, their workers will burn out and leave, or even worse burn out and stay.”

A sabbatical is preventative medicine. It is some of the best preventative medicine/maintenance a company or a ministry can initiate for their long-term, full-time workers. 

So, how is it done? I believe in and have written about a four-phase approach:

  1. Disengage and Rest – Disengage from life as normal and then engage in what will provide rest to you physically, mentally and spiritually.
  2. Retooling and Refocusing – After rest, one is often ready for some input into their life that promotes personal growth and health.
  3. Regeneration or Renewal – This is the evaluation phase and then the vision stage; assessing the past and looking toward the future. 
  4. Resolution – This phase is a firm or unwavering determination toward a solved problem or solution toward healthy boundaries to sustain a balanced lifestyle. It is a written plan for your future so you do not return to life as “usual,” but rather implementing the changes that are necessary.

You can catch an in-depth look at sabbaticals in this book. 

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Challenge, Encouragement, History, Leadership, Training

Who Are the Eight?

When a Hebrew person wanted to declare or express an intimate response to someone they would often repeat their name twice. It was an endearment or expression of closeness.

Most of us remember Jesus saying to his friend Martha, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset over many things, but only one thing is needed.” (Luke 10:41) Mary was worshipful while Martha was busy. One was over-occupied while one was overcome with His presence. Martha was frustrated while Mary was being refreshed.

Why? Many things are needful and necessary, but it was a Person who was loving and being loved that Martha was missing out on. 

Abraham takes his son up the mountain for a sacrifice. He builds an altar, places the wood on it, ties up his son, Isaac, and lays him on the altar. He raised his knife and from heaven he hears, “Abraham! Abraham!” (Genesis 22:9-12) God stops him dead in his tracks and Abraham’s obedience is proven. 

Further in the book of Genesis, we have another example of God getting someone’s attention. Jacob is spoken to by God in the night. “Jacob! Jacob!” Jacob replies, “Here I am.” (Genesis 46:2) God reassured him to not be afraid to go to Egypt because He said, “…I will make you into a great nation there.”

Moses sees a burning bush. He moves closer to take another look at why it wasn’t being consumed. He then hears “from within the bush, Moses! Moses!” (Exodus 3:4) God calls Moses to bring His people out of Egypt and the slavery they find themselves in. 

On to I Samuel chapter three. There is a young boy asleep in the tabernacle of God who awakes hearing a voice. It was a voice he didn’t recognize. Eli the priest realized it was the voice of God calling Samuel and he told him to go back and lie down on his bed. Eli instructed him that when he hears the voice again say, “Speak, for your servant is listening.” Verse ten records God’s final call to Samuel, “The Lord came and stood there, calling as at the other times, ‘Samuel! Samuel!’”

It was the Last Supper and the disciples were disputing who among them was considered the greatest. Jesus singles out Peter to tell him that he will deny his Savior. Jesus looks straight at him and says, “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail.” (Luke 22:31-32)

God was after a really zealous character, one who was unashamedly persecuting “the Way,” the believers in Christ. Saul is on the road to the town of Damascus when all of a sudden there is a light from heaven that flashes like gunpowder when lit. Saul falls to the ground and hears these words, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” (Acts 9:4) Saul becomes Paul, a selected apostle to carry the Name to the Gentiles. 

And finally, there is one of the most excruciating times a name was called out twice. Jesus, on the cross bruised, beaten, His flesh torn open and bleeding profusely experiences His darkest hour. In a lamentable, desperate and abandoned state He cries out, “My God. My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46) 

As I look back over these names and specific situations, it is interesting to point out that in some of the situations the person hearing their name twice did not know the One who was calling them, but it certainly seems that God knew them. 

If you hear the Lord call your name twice, LISTEN UP!

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Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Identity, Issues of the Day, Pornography, Training

Understanding and Breaking Bad Habits

Most smokers desire not to smoke and most persons know that overeating is harming their bodies. But unhealthy habits are especially hard to stop. Why?

We all have habits, good and not so good. Taking a shower and shaving along with brushing our teeth are all healthy habits. Habits begin with routines done over and over. When we develop a routine, the brain becomes conditioned so that our actions become automatic. In other words, our brains work far less hard when a routine is established. 

Establishing good and bad habits really follow the same course. The major difference is when certain habits are pleasure-based. Enjoyable and repeated behaviors cause dopamine to be released by the brain. This feel-good chemical, dopamine, creates the craving to repeat the action. 

When we’re attempting to quit a habit, we are attempting to force our hardwired brains to do something that it’s been trained to do otherwise. Then, when you add the pleasure-giving dopamine chemical to the equation, the battle becomes even more difficult. 

Further, adding triggers to the routine cause more habit breaking problems as well. What do I mean by triggers? For example, when feeling nervous or anxious some people bite their nails. The anxiety one feels triggers the reaction of nail biting. 

When a habit like viewing pornography begins, there are often triggers from feeling rejection created, but then there is the added feel-good reward of a dopamine wash as one viewes the images. So, certain routines cause certain triggers which can cause certain rewards.

Breaking Unwanted Habits

First and foremost, know and understand why you want to break a habit. The why is important because it could be coming from conviction, from a guilty conscience, or from fear of getting caught. Second, what is the benefit of breaking the unwanted behavior? These steps are a part of deciding that this specific habit is not a good one and your personal conviction is to stop it.

Note: realize there is a difference between sin, breaking God’s commands, and a bad habit. Recognize some bad habits are not sinful. 

Third, ask yourself how you have been justifying this habit. What excuses have you been using to continue it? For example, I can eat several candy bars because I fasted a meal yesterday. Or, I can watch porn because my spouse is rejecting me. Discovering these justifiers will help you to be able to fully admit that this habit is rooted in a negative or harmful thought process.

Fourth, don’t blame others for your negative habits. You must personally take responsibility. If you regularly blame others for your porn addiction, you’ll never quit. If you blame others for your anger, your anger issues will not change. You must take ownership for your habits.

Fifth, stay away from the triggers. Remember, it was stated earlier that certain triggers, especially those which also contain reward, can cause us to act in the routine of certain bad habits. So, if there are specific persons (relationships) or places which help to promote those triggers, work at staying away from them. 

Sometimes when we connect a negative habit with who it affects, it can help us to stop. For example, if our anger has begun to cause our children to become afraid of us (anger causing fear), then we realize change needs to occur so that our children know and respond to our love.  

Sixth, enlist a faithful friend to hold you accountable. Ask someone who will not judge you but rather care enough to lend support toward change. 

Step seven can be to replace the bad habit with a good one. This is an attempt at rewiring the brain away from the unwanted behavior toward the desired behavior. 

Eight, practice self-control. The more you practice self-control, the more you exercise the brain to develop a new habit (like a muscle exercising). Both the new and the old habit are in your brain; practicing the new enlarges the self-control muscle. This is also the principle of sowing and reaping. As you sow the good habit, you will reap the good results. 

Nine, keep enlisting God’s help. Keep depending upon the Holy Spirit to protect you, to provide new ways to respond and to give you new thoughts.

Ten. Lastly, one of the best ways to put to death a negative habit is to reinforce your healing, your change and your renewed mind by helping others in that very same area!

“…Clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.” (Romans 13:14) And, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord…” (Colossians 3:23) 

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Challenge, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Leadership, Men, Parents, Small Groups, Training, Women

Ten Words of Wisdom for the New Year

In case you haven’t noticed, my blogs for the month of January are committed to making personal change and incorporating wisdom for the New Year. Find words of wisdom from the writer of the book of Proverbs found in the Old Testament of the Bible. 

This book is filled with wisdom and I love to read it annually. Solomon, the author, begins by reminding us we are not to forget these teachings and commands because in obeying them they will “prolong life and bring us prosperity” (Proverbs 3:1-2). Now there is a promise to hold on to. Here are ten more wise sayings to incorporate into your life.

  1. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6) How easy is it to fall back on our own understanding, but our wisdom is so limited. We will quickly come to the end of ourselves and our knowledge. We must integrate the knowledge of God’s understanding.
  2. “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.” (Proverbs 11:3) Integrity will guide you; deceitful ways will destroy you. Walk in high moral character and integrity. It takes a lifetime to build integrity and only minutes to lose it.
  3. “A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” (Proverbs 11:25) Generosity will prosper you! Jesus said to give and you will be given unto to. It’s simple, it’s true, and it’s life-altering.
  4. “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.” (Proverbs 12:25) Anxiety, fear of the future, (mostly unfounded) will weigh us down. Kind words and truth-filled thoughts will cheer us up.
  5. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1) When someone is arguing with us, raising their voice, and we use the same volume, anger will be continue. But when we can give a gentle response, it will lower the volume and keep the discussion more friendly.
  6. “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18) Humility is one of the godliest traits one can embrace in life. Pride will keep us from changing because it keeps us in a defensive, self-justifying mode.
  7. “He who answers before listening–that is his folly and his shame.” (Proverbs 18:13) Listening is an acquired skill. Practice listening with your spouse and with your children. Before answering, make sure they are finished with what they need to say. Listening is showing honor.
  8. “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.” (Proverbs 22:7) Remember before you borrow money, you will become a servant to the lender. The lender has that power over you. Throughout your life, make every effort to become debt-free and use credit responsively.
  9. “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” (Proverbs 28:13) Do you want to prosper? Be honest; be accountable to God and with a spiritual leader about your sin. Do not try to conceal your sin because your heavenly Father loves you enough to reveal it. And don’t just confess it; renounce it–cut if off!
  10. “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” (Proverbs 29:25) It seems the scripture repeatedly reminds us that we have two choices: fear of man or trust in the Lord. You can’t have it both ways. Do not be ensnared in the fear of man (the pleasing of man versus the pleasing and the pleasure of trusting God). 

There you have it–ten wonderful, life-giving words of wisdom for 2024. Pass them on to your family, your friends, your co-workers, and your neighbors.

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Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Issues of the Day, Men, Parents, Singles, Small Groups, Training, Women

Change Is Hard: The Law of Constant Use

Have you set goals for 2024? Do you know what you desire to accomplish and when you desire to accomplish it? Maybe you have some goals left over from 2023. I know I do. 

But what about personal life goals? How do we see growth and change in our personal lives? Dealing with oneself is often a bit more challenging.

First and foremost, let’s remember God changes the heart. He brings His truth to us with His request for change. So, change begins with a heart to obey God and make the changes He is requesting of us. In fact, His word reveals that we show Him how much we love Him by how willing we are to obey Him. (See John 14:15.)

From the conviction in our heart, the scriptures give us a pattern for change and I like to refer to it as The Law of Constant Use.

The Law of Constant Use provides a three-part scriptural process for change from what we are accustomed to doing to what God desires of us. How does it work and how do we start the process of change?

Jeremiah 13:23 reveals, “Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots? Neither can you do good who are accustomed to doing evil.” What are you “accustomed to” doing? We become so accustomed to our actions and our thoughts that we often go through life without asking ourselves whether what we think, what we believe and what we do is correct.

The second verse in this process of change is, “All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.” (Proverbs 14:23) It is hard work to change. Don’t let anybody fool you or tell you it’s easy. This verse reminds us that true change is not just talking about change. We all have known those persons who have promised change, but yet never deliver. Why?

When we have programed ourselves to think a certain way or act a certain way, the reprograming part takes effort. We all have believed things that are simply not true about ourselves or others. And yet, we continued in those beliefs until we were confronted with the truth. However, even then we may have struggled to believe something different. We tend to always give ourselves and our beliefs the benefit of the doubt.

There is a third step in this process. Hebrews 5:12-14 wisely records, “In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.”

The Spirit of God wants to bring forth a new reality, that which you may not be accustomed to. He wants to take you from the milk of His word to the meat, a maturation process of change. He is letting us know that past experience is not necessarily present reality. God in our spirit is retraining us to be accustomed to His voice, His reality and His will. And by “constant use” we can experience change that becomes permanent!

Yes, change is challenging, but when God is at the center of the desired change, He makes a way for correcting our course. He provides a path for change. When we constantly incorporate His truth, His thoughts and His ways, enduring change will take place in our lives.

What do you (or perhaps better asked, what does God) desire to change in you in this brand-new year He has given?

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Challenge, Children, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Parents, Training

Raising Your Children in Church is no Guarantee

Parents mean well, but make mistakes. I know; I am one. Children make mistakes too. So, when I hear the comment, “Raise up a child in the way he should go, he’ll not depart from it…” spoken in a religious, pride-filled, I-got-a-guarantee way, I cringe. 

But, truth be told, we do not raise our children in a church so they can be perfect Christian specimens or simply do not sin and/or make wrong choices, because they do. Kids raised in a local church with their parents have the capacity to follow God or not; parents cannot force that. 

Your local church should be reinforcing your values as a parent, providing a healthy youth group and reinforcing through other like believers what you as a parent are teaching them at home. 

Our desire as parents in showing them the way of faith is to be preventative as much as it is to build eternity in their hearts. We want to give them the purpose and meaning of life so they walk in that purpose for themselves, maintaining the boundaries that God has written in His word. 

As well, when our children do mess up they have an advocate with the Father, His Son. They will know forgiveness and truth that sets them free. When our children fall short of God’s glorious ideal, just as we do as parents, they’ll know Who they can go to. They’ll know His love and His approval along with His love-filled correction. They’ll discover that even when they do wrong their heavenly Father never leaves them or forsakes them. In fact, when being honest with God, He’ll embrace them even more. 

Parents have the choice to offer unconditional love to their children on a daily basis. While the child may know this and take it for granted, it’s only when they mess up that they realize the grace and forgiveness found within true unconditional love. 

The fact remains, nothing can separate us from the love of God. And God’s discipline is a part of that love. When we as parents correctly, respectfully and without anger bring correction to our children, we are modeling the love of God to them. 

As a parent of three 30-40 somethings and four grandchildren, I will never apologize for training my children to love God first so that all good things from God can follow. I will never apologize for taking them faithfully to a local church, to church camp or encouraging them to travel with me around the world to minister to others. I will never apologize for taking the time to have family devotions, teaching my children the practical application of the word of God in their lives. All of these things are collectively fulfilling Colossians 1:28 and Galatians 4:19:

 He is the one we proclaim, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone fully mature in Christ.

    My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you.

As parents, our goal is not to build “us” in our children, but rather, to actively and by example build Christ in them.

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