Category Archives: Training

Challenge, Children, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Marriage, Men, Parents, Training, Women

Wearing Multiple Hats

How many hats do you wear? Let’s see: there’s our work hat, our husband/wife hat, our mother/father hat, our hobby hat, our grandmother or grandfather hat – you get the picture. We all wear multiple hats. A problem can arise when we are walking into our kitchen at home while still wearing our work hat. Or, we’re wearing our father hat in our work meeting, treating our staff like our kids. 

How do you successfully change from your work hat to your spouse/parent hat before walking in the door? I served as a marriage and family counselor for over fifteen years. I struggled listening to marital issues or abuse issues all day and then arriving home ready to be a father and husband. Some days I felt overwhelmed with other people’s problems and could be guilty of “carrying” them home with me. It is not a good scenario for anyone. What to do…

  • First, I had a 35 – 40-minute drive between my home and my office. I began to use it to decompress. We need space between our work and our home so we can successfully change hats. I feel for that farmer who walks into his kitchen directly from his barn where he had to deal with an uncooperative milk cow. Intentionally take the time to pray and to give your day to God. Give each person, each issue, your boss and coworker to God. Hand over your client’s issues or your congregant’s needs to your heavenly Father. You cannot carry them through the threshold of your residence or your mind will not arrive with your body. 
  • Secondly, give God thanks for your job, the problems there and those persons you work with. Have a thankful heart even in the midst of stress-filled days. 
  • Further, change focus by beginning to think about the needs of your spouse and your children. Doing this will move your thoughts from work or wherever you are coming from to your family.
  • If there were major issues that will carry over to the next day, ask God for solutions and then expect to hear from Him. When you hear, write them down and then leave them on that piece of paper until tomorrow. 
  • Stay off of your phone and give your attention to your family. Give your full attention so your spouse and children know you’re not at work, rather you’re fully engaged with them. 

Lastly, while it might seem counterproductive to what you have just read, do allow yourself to share an issue from your day at dinner around the table with your family. They do not need the names or the details, but they do need to hear that your workplace is not perfect and there are issues to discuss. That way your children will not just shrug their shoulders when asked to talk about their school day; they’ll follow your example of sharing in a vulnerable way.  

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Challenge, Encouragement, In the news, Issues of the Day, Prayer, Training

Praying for Your Nation (Part II)

Praying for our nation is a biblical mandate! Let’s be faithful and faith-filled as we pray.

We wage war not against flesh and blood

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (II Corinthians 10:3-5)

As an active body of believers and those who do not shy away from warfare, we do wage war against the evil one. It is right and it is appropriate to use our authority given to us by the Holy Spirit to demolish strongholds along with anything that sets itself against the knowledge of God!

Pray for peace-filled elections and God’s mercy

We do not have to accept turmoil, rioting and civil unrest. God is bigger than that. We can lean on the faithfulness of God along with His mercy; it’s new every morning. 

Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23) 

Pray for the integrity of our elected leaders

Pray for leaders who realize they cannot do what they are elected to do without the grace and mercy of their God. Pray for their salvation and for a revelation of the love of God for them, the office they hold and the nation they serve. 

There is no perfect leader and there is no perfect nation. Without God at the center, imperfection reigns. We each need to search our own heart and allow God to test us. Integrity starts with you and me.

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-24)

Pray in the Spirit

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. (Ephesians 6:18)

When we pray in the Spirit and in our prayer language, the enemy is unknowing to our prayer, to our intercession, our groaning for our nation. God will direct the heart of those we are praying for. Pray Proverbs 21:1.

In the Lord’s hand the king’s heart is a stream of water that he channels toward all who please him.

Prayer is NOT inaction

Prayer is literally turning things over to God. It is saying we can’t handle it all. Prayer is walking away from worry and anxiety and putting our future into the hands of our living and loving God. Prayer is faith in action. Prayer is grappling with all of our concerns and then personalizing those concerns into a petition directed by Holy Spirit to our heavenly Father. Prayer is confessing our inability while at the same time confessing His ability in each and every situation.

  • We are to pray about everything (Philippians 4:6). 
  • We are to pray at all times (I Thessalonians 5:17). 
  • We are to confess out sins and pray for one another (James 5:17). 
  • We are to not be anxious, but pray (Philippians 4:6). 
  • We are to pour our hearts out to God (Psalms 62:8). 

Here is one of the best statements I have read when it comes to worry vs. prayer: “Worry is a conversation you have with yourself about things you cannot change. Prayer is a conversation you have with God about things He can change.” (source unknown)

Most times when we are praying, we are praying for our needs and our desires. We ask God for a lot of things. When is the last time you prayed asking God what He wants from you? How would He direct you to pray for your nation?

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Challenge, Encouragement, In the news, Issues of the Day, Prayer, Training

Praying for Your Nation (Part I)

                                   

There is a uniquely interesting scripture located in the book of Luke, chapter eighteen. It begins with an amazing promise and ends with one of the scariest questions from the Bible. 

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. 2 He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. 3 And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’

4 “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, 5 yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’”

6 And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7 And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8 I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”

Persistent prayer is the theme that Jesus was teaching. But He ends with a question and that question is a frightening one, a daunting one: will He find faith on the earth when He returns? Faith for what? For this article, our topic will be be faith and hope for our nation. 

It is being reported by Time magazine there are something like 64 nations which will have elections this year, along with the European Union representing 49% of the world’s population. Elections can change the course of a nation for years to come. These national elections can be polarizing, create disunity governmentally and in our communities. Even families today are not immune from political separation. It can be devastating to relationships at so many levels.

So how do we know that God is hearing our prayer for our nation? Have you read Psalm 2:8? “Ask of Me, and I will give you the nations as your inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for your possession.” All we have to do is ask, just like the persistent widow asked.

The scriptural mandate of prayer for our nation

I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— 2 for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. 3 This is good, and pleases God our Savior… (I Timothy 2:1-3)

As His church, we release the power of God to our nation in prayer. This scripture states that praying in this way pleases God our Savior. In other words, He desires us to pray in this way. In our intercession we pray God’s word and we release the Spirit of God to do what He does so well. We declare the truth of His word in our prayers by Christ’s name, in His authority.

Praying for our nation or the nations is a macro level prayer effort. We are looking beyond our region, our city and our neighborhood. We are compelled to seek a higher ground in prayer in order to “see” and then petition our Father for what He sees. 

Prayer keeps our heart right

You cannot speak against your nation if you are at the same time praying for your nation. You cannot speak ill will of a political candidate if you are praying for him/her. Prayer keeps our heart right. 

Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper. (Jeremiah 29:7)

Pray even if you do not know what to pray

The Spirit of God will guide you. 

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. (Romans 8:26)

It’s simple to realize that the immediate response from heaven is not, “Okay, now that you have petitioned Me, let’s bring the answer to that prayer.” Perhaps it’s more like our faithful and faith-filled consistent prayer along with others joining us which weakens the enemy and strengthens the resolve of God. As more and more people are praying, more and more is stirred up in the heavenlies. 

We are longing for, praying for repentance

I have listened attentively, but they do not say what is right. None of them repent of their wickedness, saying, “What have I done?” Each pursues their own course like a horse charging into battle. (Jeremiah 8:6)

There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death. (Proverbs 14:12)

Our nation needs an awakening. Our hearts and our minds need cleansing. We need to pound heaven with our own repentance and request that of our nation beginning with our national leaders. Pray for public repentance, house to house repentance and an unveiling of what is holding people back from confessing their sin to God. 

Further, ask God to bring godly sorrow to repentance. 

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. (II Corinthians 7:10)

Please stay tuned for part II of this important message next week.

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Challenge, Issues of the Day, Marriage, Men, Parents, Pornography, Postmarital, Premarital, Singles, Training, Women

The Five-Step Conditioning Process of Pornography

The stats are frightening as pornography use creeps down to eleven-year-old kids. Eighty five percent of teenage young men are viewing porn at an alarming rate. There are over 400 million pornographic pages available on over four million websites. Pornography use is said to increase marital infidelity by 300%! And those are only a few of the statistics available today exposing this horrific cancer in our society. 

How does it grow from curiosity to a full-blown addiction? What is the process that takes place? If we can identify that, we stand somewhat of a chance to avoid an addiction. 

Psychologists tell us there are five steps:

  • Introduction/ exposure – There is some form of exposure to porn, typically by a “friend.” This often takes place during the childhood years. 
  • Habit/compulsion – Those who continually and frequently expose themselves to porn find they have to continually return for more – another high. This begins the chemical process or wash over the brain causing sexual stimulation and the need for more. 
  • Intensification – The previous highs are not enough, so the user looks for more exotic forms of sexual behavior for stimulation. 
  • Desensitization – What is abnormal becomes normal sexually. Nothing is too shocking or aberrant. The concern of hurting others gets lost in the pursuit of the next sexual experience or high. 
  • Acting upon one’s fantasy/imagination – Eventually we will enact upon what we have seen and what we find pleasurable. These behaviors will be required from a spouse, a prostitute, a date or a minor. This often results in rape. 

The escalation of use occurs because we tell ourselves we’re simply being entertained with something that is harmless. After all, God created men, women and sex. But the more porn we feed our brain, the more extreme forms of it are necessary to become aroused. 

Have you ever noticed the number of erectile dysfunction (ED) drugs that are advertised on TV? Do you know why? Pornography. Younger and younger men with a porn addiction cannot function normally due to porn use. The addiction is stealing from them. Real life partners become bad porn. No woman or man can compete with the airbrushed perfect images displayed in pornography.

Pornography is killing marriages today. If you want to undermine or destroy your marriage, pornography use is a good way to do it. It will completely diminish any level of trust that you have built over your years of marriage. Pornography use opens doors that you do not want to open. 

Here’s the truth: pornography is fake! Every page, every site, every movie is fake. All of it is built on lies like, “It’s an innocent distraction; it’s harmless.” Meanwhile, it is literally destroying your life, your marriage and it has the potential to destroy your family. 

Is viewing pornography sin? Yes. We are engaging in sexual immorality and dishonoring God’s design for intimacy within the confines of marriage: one man with one woman. Pornography use will never take us where God ultimately desires to take us in our walk with Him. 

Stay tuned to part two of pornography when we look at some answers to help move away from this sin. 

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Challenge, Healing, In the news, Issues of the Day, Men, Parents, Training, Women

Why are We so Anger Centric Today?

Anger seems to be the go-to emotional reaction in so many areas of our lives these days.

We’re angry at our boss. We’re angry at our spouse, our kids, our parents, our neighbor. We’re angry at the politician, the news reporter, our electric company, and the sports team we follow. Where does it stop and why is anger one of the quickest emotions we gravitate toward?

No one is born angry. We interpret our environment, the conversation, the lies we’re being told or the noncaring response of our boss as anger producing. We’re living in and with a short-fused society, as if anger is the magic pill to help us obtain what we think we need.

Normally, anger occurs when we experience a blocked goal; a desired outcome is unrealized because someone or something is in our way. Roadblocks are not necessarily bad. Sometimes they keep us from a more dangerous situation. And yet, in anger we want to blow up the roadblock. 

But let’s not be naïve; there actually is good anger – righteous anger if you will. And there is the not-so-good anger: anger related to selfish ambition. One is desiring what God desires and one is full of selfish motive or personal gain, i.e., wanting what we want. Righteous anger is rooted in what is best for another. Selfish anger is rooted in what is best for me.

Think about the last time you became angry. Was there a blocked goal? Who or what was blocking it? How did you respond? Was the anger there to protect another (for example, your child) or was it there to protect yourself? 

When we with little thought emotionally turn to anger, we forfeit the opportunity for process and often personal growth. If my wife does something that blocks my goal I can yell at her and then use anger to “push” her out of my way. Or, I can stop, take a time out and pursue a conversation about the blocked goal. As I listen to my wife and then process with her, I or she can discover what the need or desire is. We can then pursue it together. 

The prescription for long-term or short-term anger is given to us by Jesus. He had one answer and one answer only: forgive as you have been forgiven (Matthew 6: 14, 15 and Ephesians 4:32). There is no other way. Forgiving brings freedom, it releases anger and it can help bring reconciliation. Forgiveness is medicine to your heart and your soul. Forgiveness releases the captive bound by anger, primarily you.

Forgiveness is not saying what was a wrong toward you is now right; it’s saying that you release the person who hurt or offended you because you also need forgiveness. 

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Challenge, Encouragement, History, Training

How Radioactive Are You?

Maria Salomea Sklodowska was born in Warsaw, Poland in 1867. She and her husband, Pierre Curie, discovered polonium in 1898 and they named it to honor their home country of Poland. However, what she is most known for is her discovery of radium.

Ninety years later Marie Curie’s notebooks are still radioactive! Not knowing its danger, she carried radioactive elements in her pockets and she enjoyed the fact that these particles looked like “fairy lights” around her home. The consequence of her actions was that her clothes, her furniture and even her books will be radioactive for the next 1,500 years.

Curie died in 1934 of aplastic anemia due to her prolonged exposure to radiation. Curie gave her life in pursuit of the science she loved.

As I read this bit of history, I was struck by several probing questions:

  • What do I carry around with me thinking those things are harmless but are slowly hurting me and perhaps others? 
  • How “radioactive” am I? 
  • What am I giving my life to?

I have discovered that God wants to take our past wounds and turn them into victories. As we process those hurts with Him and receive His healing, He brings wisdom from wounds for future situations. 

Second, I want to be a positive, life-giving influence to others. That’s the radioactivity that I seek, that I long to carry. Who and what am I influencing for His glory?

And third, if radioactivity can be around for 1,500 years, how long can my influence be around? How long can what I have spoken, counseled, written or encouraged others in be active and continuing to influence lives even though I have left this earth?

And what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also…who will teach others…who will teach others. (II Timothy 2:2)

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Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Issues of the Day, Leadership, Men, Parents, Training, Women

Raising Your Pain Tolerance; The Good Part of Pain (Part III)

We were created to feel pain. Pain in our body is an indicator, a warning that something needs medical attention or intervention. Pain is often a danger signal. It forces a response from us. 

Unfortunately, most persons fear pain, especially emotional pain. Think of losing that loved one, the engagement breakup, or the loss of a job. Often we try to avoid pain; it’s just too, simply put, painful. Perhaps God desires to take us through it? 

Is it really the fear of what happens in our life or is it the fear of the pain that follows significant and pain-filled life experiences that we would rather avoid? 

In this blog, I want us to consider how pain helps to build some very important things in each of us and how it requires our attention. 

God never wastes pain in our lives: Every leader in the Bible went through traumatic and painful experiences. Think of Joseph, Job and Daniel. No Christ follower was or is exempt of pain. God uses it to build us spiritually, emotionally and physically. He builds character through pain-filled life experiences. He often allows tests through those areas where we are weak. Pain produces in us more self-awareness and self-knowledge. If we listen to it, we will learn and grow. Why? Because pain is a strengthener. Seasoned leaders have learned to use the pain in their lives to strengthen their leadership abilities. 

Pain is a strengthener: Pain makes us stronger and tougher. Think of the weightlifter. As they push against the pain, they are building muscle mass. Resistance is a strengthener.  Pain is a precursor to healing. We tend to push against pain, but the pain we can tolerate will strengthen us for the next painful situation we find ourselves in. When we persevere, endure and grow through the pain, it is strengthening us. You will handle pain more effectively in the future. You will handle life challenges more efficiently. 

Pain keeps us humble: It builds humility in us by causing us to be less prideful and more real. We often tend to think well of ourselves and sorry for that poor person who is suffering. Pain lets us know it CAN happen to us. It CAN be a reality check. Pain in our lives will help to build compassion and empathy for others. It hopefully builds a greater sense of love for others and what they go through in life. Often we are looking for empathy because we want significant persons in our lives to know we’re in pain. We need them to notice and to “give us a break.” But God is working humility in our lives.

Pain can be self-inflicted: If it is self-inflicted through our reckless mistakes, then we suffer the consequences and learn from those mistakes. But sometimes pain is self-inflicted because we need to recover from surgery, lose weight or grow in more grace-filled responses. This self-inflicted pain for growth is a positive pain that produces a greater good in our lives. 

Pain teaches self-discipline: We need discipline in our lives. We need boundaries. If we suffered from the lack of control in some area of life, the pain of self-discipline can get us back on track. When we fail in a life discipline or goal, it is not a bad thing to suffer pain. This form of pain can teach us to readjust or plan another strategy. 

Pain grows leadership qualities: The more pain we work through, the greater level of pain tolerance we will experience. The greater level of pain tolerance we grow, the greater level of leadership capacity we will grow. Low tolerance…the lower level of leadership.

Pain draws boundaries: When someone is abusing you, it is appropriate to draw a boundary. Pain inflicted upon us for selfish gain or gratification should cause a healthy reaction of setting a boundary from that unhealthy person. Pain will sharpen your senses and cause a greater alertness to yourself and to others. 

Further, to go through personal pain we will appreciate the non-painful times more. We will appreciate pleasure and happiness more. When we suffer the pain of heartache, we will appreciate even more the deep and joyful feeling of love. If we go to great lengths to avoid pain, we might miss what God is wanting to build in our lives. 

Take responsibility for the pain in your life. Long-term victims remain long-term victims by blaming others for their pain. While others have inflicted the pain, at some point we will have to face it and mature through it rather than blaming others. The longer we blame others for our pain, the longer we can stay stuck in our pain.

One day there will be no more pain. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)

Until then, “…We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character hope.” (Romans 5:3)

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Challenge, Encouragement, Leadership, Men, Singles, Training, Women

Raising Your Pain Tolerance (Knee Surgery Part II)

Experiencing the replacement of a knee cannot be lightly categorized as a simple, in-and-out procedure. It has meant being out of commission for a season. It has meant unrivaled pain. It has meant disciplining oneself to faithfully do physical therapy (aka, “personal torture”) exercises. And, it has meant having to be patient with the healing process.

If you are listening to your thoughts about what you are experiencing while you are experiencing it, you can learn something about yourself and you can learn some things about life. What follows are some life lessons I learned while in the recovery process that have also become life applications. 

I can’t count how many people said to me, “No pain; no gain.” I told my wife one day that if one more person says those words to me, I think I am going to give them some pain. But that old saying is literally true. Recovery from surgery can be painful and it’s why some patients give up. Simply put, it just hurts too much.

I was listening to a teaching about how pain in our lives – all pain – produces something: a higher pain tolerance. I felt that those words were directly from God for me. He was asking me to develop a higher pain tolerance physically, yes, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You see, the higher our tolerance, the less offended we can become, the less offensive we will be. With a higher pain tolerance, we can return good for evil, we can love in greater measure and we can tolerate far more irritants (or irritating persons). 

Speaking of irritants, when someone is experiencing pain, it is difficult to be ones normal self. Small irritations can become enlarged rather quickly. However, pain can grant God permission to show me, me. When in pain, inhibitions are lowered and what’s really inside is allowed to surface. Overall, not a bad thing. 

Here’s another saying we often have to endure post surgery, “Push through the pain.” Yes, it hurts, but you must push through the hurt so you can become stronger. Who on earth elects to do that? How many of us relish inflicting pain upon ourselves no matter the results? I can quickly throw the desired results out the window if it includes suffering. Funny that Jesus told us in this world we would suffer pain, we would have trials and tribulation, but He has overcome the world. (See John 16:33.)

I could have blamed my smiling therapist for the hurt she inflicted. But the reality was my mindset had to change to how the hurt, the pain was actually good for me. Said another way: it hurts for my good. The therapist is inflicting pain, but for my personal strengthening, which ultimately brings healing.

Imagine actually going back to someone who deeply hurt you and saying to them, “Thanks for the hurt you inflicted upon me. Because of it, I have grown in my walk with Christ and I am learning patience and discipline as my pain tolerance increases.” But that is exactly what is happening as you suffer. Hebrews twelve reveals, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

How has personal pain helped to grow you?

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Challenge, Issues of the Day, Men, Training, Women

Prayer in the OR – Knee Replacement Surgery

I recently experienced a total left knee replacement. Three weeks ago, my wife and I entered the surgery center at 6:15 AM and left just before noon to return home. Yes, home the same day only hours after major surgery. It’s pretty amazing what medical science can do today and the human body can endure.

After being placed on the gurney, after anesthesia began and after a spinal was administered, I was almost out of it when I blurted out with no inhibition and for no planned reason, “Can someone here pray before surgery begins, please?” All six persons in that room began to look around at each other and say things like, “Not me.” 

Finally, one young man completely covered from head to toe in an operating room “space suit” came to me and said, “I will, Steve.” The last words I remember were, “In Jesus’ name, amen.” I was out and ready to receive my bionic knee. 

God has His people stationed everywhere. My primary nurse that day, Gwen, was a lovely Christian woman who took superb care of me with the utmost gentleness and peace-filled communication. 

I am learning a lot through this season and I will write more about that later. My point today? Here it is: “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as unto the Lord and not unto men.” (Colossians 3:23)

You may never know how you have touched a life in your workplace or your neighborhood! Take seriously your station in life right now and ask God how you can be an encouragement to others.

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Challenge, Issues of the Day, Marriage, Men, Postmarital, Small Groups, Training, Women

A Marriage Mentoring Group is Born

Multiple younger couples were either coming to us or we were having them over to our home for a meal. It seemed apparent they were looking for marriage mentors, a spiritual mom and dad to walk with them and share some helpful marriage principles. 

And so, it began. Ten groups and ten years later we are still excited about marriage mentoring. We grab four couples, hand picking them to invite to our group. They should not be on the verge of divorce or in desperate need of counseling. This is not a counseling group. This is a group that receives care, concern and input, but also gives it to the other couples. It is their group, not ours. My wife and I are the facilitators. 

We use our book Staying Together, Marriage: A Lifelong Affair and go through it chapter by chapter. We begin in February and end the following January on a weekend retreat together. We meet once per month on a Tuesday evening with dinner together; everyone helps with the meal. 

That first hour around the table is full of reporting about the last month, prayer requests, jokes and laughter, fun and fellowship. The following two hours are in our living room sharing our experiences and questions in marriage provoked by the reading assignment. We laugh, we cry and we pray. We talk, we get passionate and we get real about our lives as married couples. 

Mary, my wife says, “This is my very favorite group all month. We love these ‘kids’ and we love their authentic, truth-filled responses.” If you are a happily married, seasoned couple with a heart for marriage, you can duplicate this very group. Young couples are just waiting to be asked. They are a hungry generation looking for help to succeed in their marriages. They long for parents who will encourage them, tell them they’re wrong at times and provide loving examples to them. The book will help you and guide you with plenty of questions, but it will take a back seat to the relationships that are built. 

Do you want the divorce statistics to decrease? Then take my challenge and start your own marriage mentoring group. Meet consistently once a month for one year and you will change lives and build memories for a lifetime. 

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