Marriage, Postmarital, Prayer

Healthy Sex Within Your Marriage Can Help Create a Healthy Prayer Life Together

imagesIn I Corinthians 7:5 the Apostle Paul tells us that abstinence within marriage will distract us from a healthy prayer life as a couple. Many read this verse to mean that having sex as a married couple will actually distract us from prayer, but I believe just the opposite is true.   Author Gary Thomas says it this way, “Use marriage the way God intended it. Meet your sexual needs by making love to your spouse. Then your mind and soul will be more open to prayer.”images-2

 

Our sex drive is biological and our prayer drive is spiritual, but when a couple is unselfishly meeting one another’s sexual desires the intimacy of prayer becomes more inviting, easier to engage in and even more complementary. When the sexual union and the spiritual union are connected in a harmonizing manner, you will find fewer disagreements and fewer attempts at nit-picking with your spouse. Both prayer and sex are gifts from God and that’s why the enemy attempts to inhibit them in marriage. These two areas alone, connected and sanctioned by God, should make the Christ centered marriage even more inviting.images-3

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Encouragement, Issues of the Day

Protecting Ourselves from Possible Hurt

imagesHow common is it to attempt to protect yourself from pain and hurt? It seems to be a natural human reaction to back away from something that we interpret as painful or possibly painful in the future. It can block us from making healthy decisions for today and tomorrow. Most of us have an aversion to emotional pain, but avoidance may not be the best method for personal growth. As you and I look back over our lives, we often discover that it is the most painful or emotionally difficult times in our past in which we grew the most. And, to avoid these times or to run from them could actually stunt our personal growth.

How so? In the good and trouble-free times we tend to have less dependence upon God. We may even tend to live more carefree, but when we are anxious or worried about something we can begin to tell ourselves inaccurate scenarios and outcomes, e.g., projected thoughts of possible harm. It is at this point where we make a decision to avoid  pain or determine to face the issue(s), trust God and grow through them. Armed with love, compassion and respect for others and yourself, speaking the truth, as you understand it and not backing away from painful situations, will be a far more mature response and guaranteed to create a greater level of personal depth in character and growth.images-4

I encountered a personal situation several years ago where I had the opportunity to avoid (thinking I would avoid any self-projected pain) a tenuous situation or to confront it. The leader would determine the end result in that he could accept or reject my efforts toward reconciliation. I spoke the truth, as I understood it with plenty of questions and ample opportunity for the other party to respond. Instead, he chose to ignore my reaching out to him and not respond. I gave the situation some time and then tried again and once again there was no response. I felt that I did what God required of me by asking for forgiveness of hurts I caused and then chose to let the situation in God’s hands.  The hurt for me was not completely avoided, but I knew that following through with what God expected of me would certainly decrease the possibility of a deeper wound.

(Note: Sending this out a bit early due to the 4th of July holiday.  Have a wonderful weekend!)

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Encouragement, Issues of the Day

Have You Enlisted or Are You Waiting to be Drafted?

imagesHere in the USA, the military draft ended at the end of the Vietnam War. In some nations around the world, there is a required season of serving in the military for young men and women. I imagine for most it’s not a bad deal, i.e., education, learning discipline, obeying authority and good physical health. I enjoyed much of the process of “becoming a man” in the US military. One of my favorite memories was leading many of the lonely, homesick men into a relationship with Jesus. Evangelism opportunities were everywhere. images-2

The kingdom of God is a 100% voluntary army. Did you enlist wholeheartedly in this army or are you waiting nervously for the draft? Are you voluntarily and willingly seeking God for your next assignment or are you holding back until you feel pressured? Are you responding to God’s still small voice or do you avoid that voice hoping it will soon become silent? Those who enlist are often ‘all in,’ while those who wait for the draft are frequently and silently hoping they’ll be inconspicuous enough to be overlooked. To them, being overlooked is better than taking a risk and living outside of their security level.

There are also those recruits who say, “Anywhere, Lord, but Africa”? They’re truly not enlisting. If they did go to Africa, their heart would not be with the people of Africa. They’ll be waiting for orders to return to their familiar, secure place. But, I choose to be an enlistee…all in…excited about my next orders from heaven and fully trusting my heavenly Father. He knows what He’s doing with my life. After all, He created me, He placed me on the earth for this brief period of time and I desire to fully follow Him. I owe Him my full cooperation and obedience as my Commander.  Consider these verses: Acts 17:24-28

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Issues of the Day, Leadership, Marriage

Walking in Integrity and Avoiding an Affair

To walk in integrity outside of moral failure has some great benefits to it.  I am not sure if you have ever thought about the consequences of having an affair, but here are a few to meditate on:

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  • Working to rebuild trust and an uninhibited marriage of oneness once again (spiritually, sexually, emotionally)
  • Embarrassing family, losing their respect and trust
  • Having to walk away from a job or ministry position
  • Possibly having to relocate
  • Possibly facing newspaper articles, publicly printed communication and social media about personal failure
  • Facing rumors, gossip and lies
  • Having to face untold and far-reaching negative consequences either based on truth and fact or hearsay
  • Maybe having to face the law or possible law suits
  • Losing or forfeiting many friendships and local church relationships
  • Living with wounds and scars
  • Feeling as though everyone is watching youimages-7
  • Suffering from overwhelming thoughts of failure
  • Continually reliving the past and coming up with regret and loss
  • Living with continual condemnation
  • Struggling to sleep at night
  • Waking up in the morning and wondering how to look forward to a new day
  • Having to be concerned about who one may face or encounter throughout the day
  • Suffering the loss of vision
  • Having to go through biblical discipline and a restoration process
  • Being unable to look at one’s family and all others in the eye
  • Being unable to look at oneself in the mirror without feeling condemnation and feeling like a failure
  • Suffering from an unclear conscience; walking through life feeling a cloud over oneself
  • Feeling the loss of ones peace and joy
  • Suffering through the loss and grief of broken relationship with God
  • Living with the deep hurt and pain you caused the one with whom you vowed a promise of fidelity
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Children, Encouragement, Parents

Celebrating a Graduation

unspecified-2Our younger son, following graduation from college, spent seven years traveling the USA in a rock band, recording two albums in Nashville, getting married, having a son himself all the while also working at a local law firm, has recently graduated from Weidner Law School as valedictorian. He has worked so hard and we are so proud of him as any parent would be. But there’s more to the story and it is this ‘more’ part that causes us to be especially proud – his speech delivered at graduation before his classmates, his professors, guest speakers and the many family members gathered there that day.

Marc congratulated all graduates, thanked his professors and his family and then told us that becoming a lawyer has to be more than making money. He said there has to be a larger cause than just work and stuff. In part he said, “As law students and soon to be lawyers, we are privileged. We are privileged to have attended this school to become lawyers. What will we do with that privilege? When we enter our practice, we must remember the poor, the needy, those who cannot help themselves and the incarcerated. Serve the poor around you and remember as John Bradford said, ‘If not for the grace of God, there go I.’”unspecified-1

It is that heart we are most proud of. It is that heart that our Jesus has shaped and molded in him. It is that heart that occurred through mission trips as a teen, youth group, small groups, family devotions and life experiences. We love You, Father, for birthing that heart in our son. We love you, Marc, for walking in these heart values of your heavenly Father.

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Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Leadership

Integrity is Not Perfect

images-3Can we maintain integrity even while we are on a mistake-filled journey here on earth? We can, as godly character is grown over time and we realize mistakes are a part of that growth. If we live under strict codes, then all failures are placed upon our permanent record. But in living under grace, we find forgiveness for our failures and an Advocate who comes along side us to reinforce the right responses for future application and personal growth. The journey, while not an excuse for sin, is about growth in the process, not perfection.

Recently, I was traveling over Memorial Day weekend and within a four-hour time span I counted no less than one dozen police officers patrolling along the highway. It was a constant reminder to obey the law or I would suffer the consequences. If I disobeyed or was disobeying, fear would be my response.   If I obeyed the law, assurance of no wrongdoing was my confidence. That’s how the law operates. But God’s grace in the process does not operate that way because “…perfect love casts out fear.” (I John 4:18)images-4

Love accepts that integrity is not perfect. Love embraces the journey. Love forgives the wrongdoing and love promotes more love, not fear. There are plenty of faults to find in the Psalmist David’s life, but in Psalm 41 he wrote, “In my integrity you uphold me and set me in your presence forever.” Thank you, Father, for upholding us, building integrity within us and setting us in Your presence!

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Leadership, Training

What Years of Ministry has Taught Me About Integrity

imagesIntegrity is a condition we choose to walk in. If we choose not to walk in integrity, we will eventually need intervention in our lives.  The following are examples of life lessons in integrity.

  1. Integrity is God’s choice for me. (I Kings 9:4)

 

  1. Integrity is a choice that I must choose. (Job 27:5,6; Psalm 7:8)

 

  1. Integrity starts in my heart. (I Chronicles 29:17)

 

  1. It is easier to not be a man or woman of integrity. (Job 2:9)

 

  1. It is something that you grow in. (Psalm 103:13,14)

 

  1. Finding a model to emulate is helpful, as well as being that model. (Titus 2:7)

 

  1. It means humbling ourselves when we fail. (Romans 12:3)

 

  1. It means not being able to defend yourself before others at times. (Psalm 25:21; 41:12)

 

  1. Jesus maintained integrity before men who constantly judged him. ( Mark 12:14; Hebrimages-2ews 5: 8, 9; Proverbs 29:10)

 

  1. The closer we come to Jesus, the more integral we become. (Proverbs 2:21; 10:9 NLT; 11:3; 13:6)
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Issues of the Day, Just for fun

Here’s To Social Media Posts, Yours and Mine

images-2Facebook and social media in general have seemingly taken over our lives in some good and some not so good ways. What follows are a few ways in which I wish Facebook posts didn’t exist; posts I’d rather not read.

  • Pictures of what you are making or eating for dinner.
  • How boring your day was and how you feel at the moment.
  • Pictures of your family pet doing absolutely nothing.
  • Political articles or posts that are caustic, often falsely reported or of no literal value when it comes to making conscientious political decisions.
  • You or others working out at the gym.
  • Constant pictures of your new hairstyle, clothing or latest tattoo.
  • Off color jokes and the like.
  • Half dressed persons doing half-baked, questionable activities.
  • Reposting posts that you have not fact checked or checked the background on as to whether or not they are even true.  (Suggestion, check: snopes.com first)
  • Your latest practical joke that is almost criminal.

Why? Remember who you reflect and who you represent.  If you do not police your own posts, the only “friends” and “followers” you’re ever going to have might be stalkers, psychologists, your employer or potential employer and/or the police. Most assuredly they won’t give you a “like.”images

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Encouragement, Issues of the Day

You Have a Bible in the English Language; what are You Doing With It?

william-tyndale-featured-imageIt was the early 1500’s when an ordained minister was executed after imprisonment, being strangled and finally burned at the stake as a heretic. This “heretic” was a Protestant theologian and was the first to translate the Bible from the original languages into English. However, King Henry III and the English church authorities were hostile toward the project. William Tyndale finished only the New Testament and this Bible was printed in 1525.

Tyndale had to smuggle Bibles into England and his version became extremely popular. So much so, that when the church officials got ahold of them they would burn them. Church leaders burned the Bible…interesting. Tyndale had to work on translating the Old Testament in his jail cell and it is believed that he made it to the book of II Chronicles.images-11

Today whole denominations and church leaders are turning away from the truths of the scriptures and we think it’s something new. It’s not new; it is simply a repeat of some very dark times in history. Christians suffered for their beliefs. If you believe that God’s sacred act of marriage was given to us for one man and one woman, you will meet up with criticism and scows for your belief. If you believe there is a literal, eternal hell, you will get pushback. If you believe that a sexual relationship is for married persons only, you will be made fun of. And someday it will go beyond words, looks and laughter until we see a revival and more God-fearing leadership in the nations of the world.

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Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Prayer

1953 and Our National Day of Prayer

images-5The National day of Prayer was originally designated on July 4, 1953 as a day of prayer and penance. However the man who instituted this day spent July 4, 1953 fishing, golfing and playing bridge. During the 1950’s, church attendance was at an all-time high in America and most best-selling books were religious ones. Crime rates were low and divorce was rare. Unemployment was low and the nation was prospering. Prior to the turmoil of the decade to come, the nation had a confidence in God.

images-8Who was this all-important and influential man who designated such an important annual day of reflection for America? It was Dwight D.Eisenhower. Dwight was named after the great evangelist Dwight L. Moody. Dwight Eisenhower’s parents were devout members of a German Mennonite group called the River Brethren. The River Brethren were known for their pacifism and certainly did not condone drinking alcohol, smoking or playing cards, of which Dwight eventually did all three. General Eisenhower grew up in a home that was dedicated to teaching him the Bible and he could quote many passages at length. Today he is hailed as one of the greatest US military generals.

images-7Was this two-term President a hypocrite or did he believe that America had a duty to acknowledge God? Was he fallen away from his personal relationship with Christ or was he being used by and obeying Christ for such an important season of America’s history? “…Listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life…” (Proverbs 4:20-22)

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