Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Issues of the Day, Just for fun, Prayer

The Healing Power of Water

Did you know it’s a proven fact that when we’re around water, for example, oceans, lakes, streams and rivers, we are calmer, exhibit less anxiety and can actually be rejuvenated? Water activities like swimming, skiing, snorkeling, and surfing are said to help us enter into a state of calmness.

Vast bodies of water produce a state of awe. That’s an emotional response to how we actually view our world and our personal perspective within that world. Even the sound of water has a soothing effect on us, while the smell of an ocean breeze can trigger good memories and sooth the human soul. 

Water has a rhythm to it. Think of the constant, repeated movement of waves on the seashore or the babbling brook. Rain on a roof is especially rhythmic and pleasant to some persons. Water can hold our attention for hours and bring a sense of fascination that helps us relax our brains and slow down our thoughts. All that reveals a truth: water is restorative.

However, here are some biblically interesting thoughts that I want to share with you about water. A lot of Jesus’ life, miracles and sermons either involved water or were around water. For example: Jesus’ baptism, teaching from Peter’s fishing boat, walking on water, calming the raging sea and making breakfast for His disciples after His resurrection. And lastly, one of my favorite verses in the Bible also involved water and I love its connotations:

Matthew chapter 13 and verse one states, “That same day, Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake.” That’s it. That’s the whole verse. 

What was Jesus doing by the lake? Was he fretting over his day? Was He going over His to-do list? Was He contemplating His anticipated encounters with the Pharisees? I think He was sitting by the lake to experience the refreshment of a body of water and admiring His creation. He was centering Himself before His day would begin. 

Water will do that. So find a body of water or some form of nature that speaks to your spirit and calms your soul and “sit by it”… frequently. 

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Challenge, History, Identity, Issues of the Day, Men

King of the Mountain

Did you ever play king of the mountain when you were a kid? It was especially fun on a mountain of snow. The idea is that someone, the king, is placed on top of the mound of dirt or snow and then all the other kids attempt to take him down and become king themselves. 

Not too long ago, there was a U.S. boxer that was king of the mountain for years. No one could defeat him. Eventually the ex-champ suffered far too many blows to his head. Before he passed he simply shuffled everywhere he walked while shaking profusely. Gone were the raised fist pumps, sculpted body and braggadocios attitude. 

During an interview with a reporter, he was quoted as saying, “I had the world, and it wasn’t nothin’. Look now.” This fighter did have the world along with the world’s attention. 

His name? Muhammad Ali. Ali won the world heavyweight championship three times. He appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated magazine more times than any other athlete. 

Many years ago, I visited his training camp property that was for sale at the time. It was run down. Painted on the many rocks around the property were Ali’s famous sayings like, “float like a butterfly and sting like a bee.” He would often refer to himself as “The greatest.” Walking the property, I could just picture Muhammad in training sweats running around reading the words on those rocks and easily believing them.

When we push, claw and crawl our way to the top, everyone is eventually toppled; it’s an uncertain victory. Someone will ultimately make their way to the top where we are and be successful at throwing us back down the mountain. So be careful about displaying all those trophies and hanging all those ribbons. There’s so much to learn from Ali and many others stories like his who were once on top of the mountain. 

There was a King who left heaven, not to be king of the mountain, but rather to be a servant who suffered upon a cross on a hill named Golgotha. “Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:28)

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Challenge, Marriage, Men, Parents, Women

Is Your Marriage Growing Closer or Distancing?

Marriage relationships are typically gaining ground or losing ground, becoming closer or creating distance. Let me share a few examples:

A silence after a disagreement = distance

Boredom sets into the relationship = distance

Tension due to differing goals or desires = distance

The loss of intimacy or sexual oneness = distance

Unforgiveness = distance

What are some examples of growing in closeness?

Agreement with our budget = closeness financially

Praying together = closeness to God and one another

Maintaining date nights = closeness in fun and communication

Maintaining our physical oneness = intimacy closeness

Taking daily time to hear one another’s heart = closeness shared openly and honestly

We’ve all been there. We’ve all experienced times of deep connection in our marriage and times of boredom or discontent with our marriage. Sometimes life becomes mundane and we take our marriages for granted or we simply become lazy with finding time for each other, communicating and going out on a date. We let our sexual lives lapse as we prioritize so many other things in life over our own intimacy connections. 

When we feel distance in our relationship let’s call it out, expose it, confess it and work at getting back on track. Honest feelings shared can bring honest solutions. Allowing distance to grow makes it more difficult to return to closeness. 

Take some time to share several ways in which you can grow and maintain your closeness as a couple.

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Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Insecurity, Issues of the Day

Rejection is Sometimes God’s Protection

We all know how much we embrace and love rejection, right? Normally, rejection hurts and we avoid it at all cost. But sometimes rejection is actually God’s protection. How so?

Think about the time you were rejected for a promotion only to be offered a better job a few months later. Think about the rejection from your girlfriend only to later discover the person you would actually marry. Think about a word of rejection from a close friend, once again to discover it was true and prompted personal change.

There are rejections in this life that somehow, by the hand of God, turn into a blessing of protection for His child. He is ultimately concerned for your greatest good, certainly not your hurt. 

I can recall being rejected while in a serious relationship only to have my eyes opened to eventually discover the one I would marry six months later. At the time, I could see no redemptive purpose in that letter of rejection, but given over to God, He would use it to bring someone else into my world. That was 52 years ago!

I have experienced many rejections since then, only to discover God’s hand was in it because, “…we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

If Jesus is the Lord of your life, you have an unfair advantage even when it comes to rejection. Nothing gets by God…nothing. He loves you and has your best interest in mind! He can turn rejection into protection and with it provide you with new direction.

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Challenge, Just for fun, Marriage, Men, Parents, Women

Are You Play Deficient in Your Marriage?

You’re happily married. In fact, you’d do it all over again, right? But now there are so many intense responsibilities. Multiple others are depending upon you. Life is serious and you’re right in the middle of it with or without fun. 

Fun is now something you have to remind yourself of or, God forbid, actually plan. Play was so easy when we were merely engaged to be married. It came so naturally without much effort. Now it seems like we need to make it a goal for our marriage. 

The Bible tells us that laughter is like medicine. It’s true. Here are some of the medicinal effects laughter does for us: it’s a natural pain killer; it reduces blood pressure; it decreases depression and anxiety; it boosts the immune system; it’s just good for our mental, physical and spiritual health.

Let’s take it a step further. What is fun for you as a couple? What is energizing? What fun things replenish you? Discovering these things for us as individuals is great and necessary, but discovering them for our marriage is energizing for a play deficient marriage. 

Perhaps you’re in a stage of marriage where you are raising young children. Fun with them as parents is important, but taking time for the two of you is just as important. Or, maybe you’re at a stage where you’re spending a lot of time together. Be sure to plan fun activities so boredom does not set in. 

My wife and I had nonchalantly driven by a local Harley Davidson factory for many years and then we found out they offer free tours. Wow, what a fun morning that was. We live in a farming community. We discovered one of the large farming operations in our area offers daily tours. It was fun to see this operation up front and close. Museums, libraries, flea markets, yard sales, antique shops, an unplanned overnight, reading a joke book, funny YouTube videos, or coffee shops can all be inviting places of fun. 

Fun does not have to be expensive or days away. It needs to show up daily in your marriage. Study your spouse and find out what makes them laugh. Then go for it. It will build something refreshing in your marriage. 

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Challenge, Children, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Just for fun, Marriage, Men, Parents, Training, Women

Developing Family Rhythms

Professionals are telling us that family rhythms are missing in today’s households. What are family rhythms? Those things that your family does to build relationship, maintain consistent values and grow in family sharing and caring. 

Family rhythms cause us to connect with each member of the family. Everyone is important and everyone gets to be heard. Rhythms create space for valuing, teaching and training. Rhythms help create family culture, the ‘who’ we are as a family. 

What are family rhythms? Let me list a few:

  • Having a meal or two together every day
  • Taking a weekly family sabbath
  • Establishing a game night
  • Enjoying a BIG breakfast Saturday mornings
  • Dating your children and your spouse
  • Family worship
  • Reading a book together that all can enjoy
  • Quarterly get-aways for a day or overnight
  • Weekly small group connections or youth group
  • Family work time, e.g., cleaning the house or mowing the yard together
  • Annual family vacations
  • A monthly movie night with popcorn
  • Celebrating birthdays wholeheartedly

Before we’re called to save the world we need to save our families, the God-created foundation of our world. What do you desire your children to say about their upbringing one day? Plant those seeds now in their lives. Give them every reason in the world to love their family and to make their friends jealous. 

Speaking of their friends. Our children often invited their friends on our family vacations. We loved that! It told us our kids thought enough of our family time together to invite their friends so they too could enjoy that time together. And enjoy those times we did.

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Challenge, Encouragement, Marriage, Men, Parents, Postmarital, Women

Some Important Questions to Consider for the New Year

Have you evaluated 2024 with your spouse as yet? I mean, have you gone back over your year and discussed what you loved, what you missed, what you added, what you gave, what you received, what you grew in, what you failed in? Evaluation is a great way to end your year together.

Have you taken the time to share words of thanks with one another and to God? What are you thankful for? What can you thank your spouse for? Thankfulness blesses others and keeps our hearts from personal judgments. 

After considering those ideas, consider some questions that will help you to look forward to a brand-new year. Questions like:

  • What vision do we have for our marriage and family in 2025?
  • What exercise do we want to participate in together?
  • What rhythms will we continue/discontinue?
  • How can I help my spouse grow in their relationship with God?
  • How can I be a reflection of God to my spouse?
  • What couples or persons in our lives can help us to grow in our marriage?
  • How can we better participate in a sabbath?
  • What can increase our affection toward each other?
  • How can we maintain our sexual intimacy?
  • How can we grow our prayer intimacy together?
  • What are some healthy marriage maintenance moves we can make in 2025?
  • What spiritual goals can we create?
  • What financial goals can we create?
  • How can we make regular deposits of love in each other’s life?
  • What marriage book can we read together?
  • What marriage conference can we participate in?
  • How can just the two of us vacate together?

Looking back, giving thanks and then looking ahead can be a tremendous value to your marriage relationship. It can give you focus, bring correction and provide unity in direction. Marriages that make it 40 or 50 years are marriages that take seriously personal and couple change to become more loving, more giving, more complimentary, more forgiving and more generous.

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Challenge, Children, Encouragement, History, Issues of the Day

The Purpose of Christmas 

Christmas is not random and neither is it simply another work holiday. Billy Graham said, “The very purpose of Christ’s coming into the world was that He might offer up His life as a sacrifice for the sins of men. He came to die. This is the heart of Christmas.”

We will gather around a tree and open presents to hopefully create smiles and the joy of laughter. Unfortunately, not everyone has that privilege. I think of the homeless, the marginalized, and those suffering from insufficient resources. 

But I also think that Mary and Joseph would identify with those who struggle at Christmas. They were not wealthy and their first Christmas was a tough one. How so?

Caesar Augustus ordered everyone to register for a census of the “entire Roman world” from their hometown. Mary and Joseph, who were “pledged to be married,” lived in Nazareth and had to travel to Bethlehem. Mary was nine months pregnant and the trip to their hometown was a very distant and grueling 90 miles! Can we even relate to a ninety-mile trip, being almost ready to deliver a baby, on a donkey or a horse through rough and dusty terrain? 

When they reached Bethlehem, there were so many people that all the inns were booked to capacity. Where would Mary be giving birth? Someone offered them a stable, a barn or the lower part of a home. Yikes, a filthy, germ infested, smelly and unsanitary animal stable!

Jesus is born and some shepherds, considered the lowest class of workers, notice a star, a very bright star. They show up to see the miracle Christ child after the angel said to them, “Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.”

The Gift arrived. The final sacrificial Lamb of God. No more bloody altars of sin offerings. Jesus would be God’s sin offering for all of mankind into the ages to come. 

Have you opened this Gift? 

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Challenge, Encouragement, Identity, Issues of the Day, Leadership, Prayer

Does Your Serving Jesus Get in the Way of Your Knowing Him?

After a week of rest at a retreat center, I found myself hearing and thinking lots of different thoughts. I have been winding down my full-time work with DOVE International and was taking the time to ask God what’s next. The following are some of my interactions with Him.

Doing has always been important to me. I love work and I, for one, am grateful that God gave us the gift of work. I love labor and the results thereof. I love ministry and its results. I love fulfilling God’s call on my life. But sometimes, I am His “helper.” This week He revealed He already has a Helper, Holy Spirit. 

I can be driven, especially with labor. My wife tells me all the time, “Steve, stop, you’ve done enough for today.” And I just want to finish one more thing. Am I driven or am I drawn when it comes to my relationship with my heavenly Father?

Sometimes I need to remind myself that Jesus had 12 disciples and then He had 11. In Mark chapter six, Jesus sent His disciples out to do ministry, to preach the kingdom. Upon their return His counsel was, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” He must have seen the weariness in their eyes.

Matthew 13:1 records a habit that I believe Jesus walked in, “That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake.” Jesus, the Son of God, took time with His Father and sat by a body of water to refresh Himself, His spirit, His soul. I asked myself this week what refreshes me, what rejuvenates me?

You and I need a constant sabbath. God rested from creation as an example to us. We are each capable of a lot, but are we called to always say “yes?” I heard someone say this week, “Sometimes the word ‘no’ is a complete sentence.” My Lord was always active in doing the Father’s will, but He never seemed to be in a hurry. He labored out of rest. 

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me–watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly. 

(Matthew 11:28-30 The Message version)

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Challenge, Issues of the Day, Marriage, Men, Parents, Postmarital, Women

Love Your Marriage Enough to Evaluate It

As we head into the last month of the year 2024, it’s a good time to look back. A look back is a great way to assess where we’ve been. In last week’s blog, we considered looking ahead and writing goals for our marriage. See it here.

So many things in life are assessed; why not our marriages? I often ask my wife if I traveled too much? Did I support her around the house sufficiently? Did she feel my support with the children? Did we engage in ample date nights? Have we been in financial agreement? Did she feel cared for and honored?  And here’s a tough one: did she see God in me more than she saw my selfish desires?

If we’re not in a good place, evaluation or marriage assessment can get us back on track by revealing where we went off track. If we’re in a good place, evaluation is not painful, but rather reassuring that we’re on course for what’s ahead. Evaluation helps us get onto the same page. We’re not judging one another; we’re thanking God for what we learned, what we went through, where we failed and where we succeeded. We’re considering what worked and what didn’t. 

Several years ago, we were assessing our prior year finances because we had a financial decrease forthcoming in the new year. I’m not sure about you, but discussing a decrease in salary is not a discussion I joyfully anticipate. We assessed our year and then began to cross out line items for the next year’s budget. We did it! 

Evaluation helped us to go forward as a couple. We would face the year ahead with unity and agreement.

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