Tag Archives: faith

Challenge, Children, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Marriage, Men, Parents, Prayer, Women

Praying for Our Adult Children

It was one thing to have prayed for our children as they were growing up in our home under our direct influence, but it is another praying for our adult children, especially if they no longer hold the same values we as parents do. We may have raised them with one set of values and they may choose to live by another set of values. 

Our children grew up in our home with the consistent example of seeing, hearing, and experiencing faith-believing prayer. We prayed for and about everything. We wanted them to know that even though their parents could not meet all of their needs, there was Someone who could. Children need a model of prayer which causes them to “seek first the kingdom of God.”

Today, as we pray for our adult children and their children, we still desire to see changes in their lives. As minor children, we could force some changes; we had that level of control. As adults we can only influence change through prayer and any open door they will give us. Very few persons desire our advice without them first asking for it, including our children. 

Praying for our adult children is our first line of defense and offense. It is not inaction. Prayer is not secondary; it is not lacking any other answer; it must be our go-to move first and foremost. Prayer is our lifeline to our Father as He works on behalf of our children. Prayer helps to keep the focus off of what we can do or feel the need to do and places it upon what Holy Spirit is doing in our lives and theirs. Prayer, giving our cares over to God, helps to keep our hearts at peace and free from anxiety.

We pray for them and we let them know we are praying for them. If you have opportunity, you can even let them know what and how you are praying. So, how do we pray?

Ask your Father to place the right person(s) in their lives at the right time. 

Ask Him to be in their dreams, in the music they listen to and in the media they watch. Ask Him to show up in multiple ways.

Pray for their workplace, their families, their finances, and their safety.

Pray scriptures over them. God’s word sent in prayer is a powerful tool. Pray peace over them.

Pray for God’s purposes to be fulfilled and the passions He placed on their hearts to be realized. 

Pray for their spiritual ears to hear His still small voice. 

If your children are asking for prayer, no request is too small or too large. If your children are not asking for prayer, maybe even are antagonistic toward prayer, choose not to be offended. Don’t back away from loving and accepting them. Do not choose hurt; choose the relationship any way you can get it, even if it feels shallow. Surface or fragile relationships are better than no relationship or broken relationships. Continually, in every way you can, reinforce your unconditional love as their parents. 

“The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” (James 5:16) Your prayers make a difference.

I thank you, heavenly Father, that You are working in my son/daughter’s life each and every day. I thank You that Holy Spirit does not leave them or forsake them. I am grateful that You are loving them in a way that I cannot right now. I am grateful that regardless of what they’re saying or doing, You are drawing them to Yourself. Father, You gave them birth, they are Yours and You love them in far greater measure than I can. I commit them to Your love, to Your care. In Jesus’ name.

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Challenge, Children, Encouragement, Identity, Marriage, Parents

The Primary Role of Parents

Parents do a lot of things day in and day out and are some of the busiest persons on the face of the earth. Few envy the parent of a toddler or the parent of a wayward teen. Parents give more than most humans in any relationship; it’s how we’re built. 

Could we establish one thing from the onset and a truth that bears repeating to others? God gave children to parents. He did not ask school teachers, counselors, the local church or government to parent those we give birth to. That role was given to two select persons, a mother and a father.

As mothers and fathers, we’re teachers, therapists, nurses, singers, coaches, and disciplinarians. It is a never-ending and grueling job that calls for faith, patience, energy and lots and lots of unconditional love. 

But what is the primary role of a parent? Of the necessary and endless things we teach our children and the thousands of dollars we spend to feed, cloth, educate and care for our kids, what is priority number one? 

My wife and I spent 25 years raising children and we loved it. We embraced each and every year. We determined that there were no “terrible twos” or necessary rebellious teenage years. It was our goal to raise happy, healthy, obedient kids who knew Whose they were and who they were. Everything we did with and for our children we did intentionally with God’s direction and help.

Discovering the number one area came to me after a major mistake I made in my parenting. My son wanted to watch a certain TV show that we felt was dishonoring of family, especially fathers. We told him that we would not participate in that program and why. He then told us when he would leave our home he would watch it and furthermore, he couldn’t wait to leave!

Now I knew why I wanted to leave my parents, but why on earth would he want to leave his? He had his own room. We loved him. We loved God. We loved each other. For heaven’s sake, we bought him Nike sneakers and Levi jeans!

God whispered in my ear, “I gave him to you to leave you one day. It’s not a matter of will he leave, but HOW he will leave. And, by the way, I didn’t give him to you so that you could build you in him. I gave him to you so that you could build Me in him.”

I thought I was a pretty good guy. Why wouldn’t my son want to be like me? 

Herein is the primary role when parenting your children, “He is the one we proclaim, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone (our children) fully mature in Christ.” (Colossians 1:28) 

Stop building yourself in your child and start building Christ. It is our primary role as a parent. Your child can do all things through Christ, but our parenting has its limits.

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Challenge, Children, Encouragement, Issues of the Day

Are You Following Your Heart? Don’t!

I am unsure where the phrase “follow your heart” came from. I have certainly used it on occasion and perhaps you have too. But should we be using that phrase with our children or our spouse or our close friends? 

Here’s my challenge from the book of Jeremiah: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?” (17:9)

Yikes, the Bible actually says that? Yes, in fact it does. 

So, what are we to follow? The Holy Spirit, God’s still small voice (I Kings 19:12). Here are some additional words of advice from God’s word:

Isaiah 30:21
“And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.”

Jeremiah 33:3
“Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.”

Psalm 119:105
“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”

Mark 4:24
“And he said to them, ‘Pay attention to what you hear: with the measure you use, it will be measured to you, and still more will be added to you.’”

John 5:30 – From Christ.
“I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge, and my judgment is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me.”

John 10:27
“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.”

John 14:26
“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.

I am not sure of my heart or yours, but I am totally sure of God’s heart toward you.

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Challenge, Children, Encouragement, Marriage, Parents, Prayer

Praying for Our Children

If you are a parent, you realize you can come to the end of yourself very quickly. While parents have huge capacity levels, there is no way any parent has all the vitality, all the answers and all the correct responses for their children’s inquisitive minds and endless energy. 

My wife and I quickly realized the older our children became the more complicated parenting became. It just doesn’t get easier with age. 

However, we never believed in the “terrible twos” or the “rebellious teen years.” We simply didn’t accept that it was guaranteed we would go through those times. In fact, we decided to have the “terrific twos” and the “compliant teen years.”

Being totally honest, raising children is the most rewarding job while at the same time, the most difficult and challenging job. It is not for the faint of heart. A parent must never give up or tire of keeping the boundaries straight. Parents must remain parents at all times and not peers. 

So, what’s the secret weapon in growing happy, healthy, productive, focused and disciplined kids? Wow, that’s a million-dollar question. I do have one answer. PRAYER!

Yes, faith in Someone much more capable than you; Someone more loving and patient than you and Someone far more knowledgeable than you are a must as a parent. That’s why I wrote the Praying for Your Children prayer tract. It is filled with scriptures to pray over your children at multiple stages of their lives. 

Praying God’s word builds faith for your children. It builds your faith. God’s word has so much to say about children–as the first Parent should–and who they are becoming. And when praying the scriptures over your children, your prayers can’t miss. They will hit the target and your children will respond. 

Our adult children are still requesting prayer from us as parents, mostly for their children. Why? Because they know we prayed and we pray for them. 

Here are a few example scriptural prayers:

Even when I am old . . . do not forsake me, my God,

till I declare your power to the next generation: …………. Psalm 71:18

My children shall be mighty on the earth, wealth 

        and riches are in my house…………………………………… Psalm 112:2-3

My son shall be like a well-nurtured plant and my daughter 

        like a pillar carved to adorn a palace………………….. Psalm 144:12-13

God will give my children a heart to know Him—they will 

        return with all their heart……………………………………….. Jeremiah 24:7

There are 65 more scriptures just like these. Where can you locate this valuable prayer tract? Right here.

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Challenge, Encouragement, Issues of the Day

What Will You Not Do in the New Year?

We have spent a month on goals and change for this new year, but what about the idea of not doing certain things in the year ahead?

A year has 365 days. That’s a lot of days to make a change or to simply hit the repeat button and not make any changes. We can spend 365 days doing the same things we did in the prior 365 days, keeping our year looking pretty much the same. And, we can do that year after year. 

But is that what God desires in our lives? Should we continue to be creatures of habit? Nature repeats itself, but that doesn’t mean we should. Routines can be harmful and doing them year after year makes them permanent in our lives. However, we do have a different option: to not keep repeating ourselves.

God’s way for our lives is often a new way, not a repetitive way. We can’t walk with God and not change. We cannot allow our spirit being connected to His Spirit to simply follow in old, oftentimes harmful, repetitious ways. The scriptures reveal He is making all things new. (See Isaiah 43:19; Revelation 21:5; Romans 6:4.) God’s way is a supernatural way. 

Be encouraged to live on earth in a way that brings down heavenly ways, heavenly thoughts and actions. There is a newness in His Spirit if we are willing to seek first the kingdom of God (Matthew 6:33). 

To know God’s ways, we must read His word daily. We must converse with Him throughout each and every day. We must ask Him what He would do. And then, we must listen for His voice, following all of this with obedience.

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Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Issues of the Day, Men, Parents, Singles, Small Groups, Training, Women

Change Is Hard: The Law of Constant Use

Have you set goals for 2024? Do you know what you desire to accomplish and when you desire to accomplish it? Maybe you have some goals left over from 2023. I know I do. 

But what about personal life goals? How do we see growth and change in our personal lives? Dealing with oneself is often a bit more challenging.

First and foremost, let’s remember God changes the heart. He brings His truth to us with His request for change. So, change begins with a heart to obey God and make the changes He is requesting of us. In fact, His word reveals that we show Him how much we love Him by how willing we are to obey Him. (See John 14:15.)

From the conviction in our heart, the scriptures give us a pattern for change and I like to refer to it as The Law of Constant Use.

The Law of Constant Use provides a three-part scriptural process for change from what we are accustomed to doing to what God desires of us. How does it work and how do we start the process of change?

Jeremiah 13:23 reveals, “Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots? Neither can you do good who are accustomed to doing evil.” What are you “accustomed to” doing? We become so accustomed to our actions and our thoughts that we often go through life without asking ourselves whether what we think, what we believe and what we do is correct.

The second verse in this process of change is, “All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.” (Proverbs 14:23) It is hard work to change. Don’t let anybody fool you or tell you it’s easy. This verse reminds us that true change is not just talking about change. We all have known those persons who have promised change, but yet never deliver. Why?

When we have programed ourselves to think a certain way or act a certain way, the reprograming part takes effort. We all have believed things that are simply not true about ourselves or others. And yet, we continued in those beliefs until we were confronted with the truth. However, even then we may have struggled to believe something different. We tend to always give ourselves and our beliefs the benefit of the doubt.

There is a third step in this process. Hebrews 5:12-14 wisely records, “In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.”

The Spirit of God wants to bring forth a new reality, that which you may not be accustomed to. He wants to take you from the milk of His word to the meat, a maturation process of change. He is letting us know that past experience is not necessarily present reality. God in our spirit is retraining us to be accustomed to His voice, His reality and His will. And by “constant use” we can experience change that becomes permanent!

Yes, change is challenging, but when God is at the center of the desired change, He makes a way for correcting our course. He provides a path for change. When we constantly incorporate His truth, His thoughts and His ways, enduring change will take place in our lives.

What do you (or perhaps better asked, what does God) desire to change in you in this brand-new year He has given?

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Challenge, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Prayer

Worry Less; Pray More – Pray More; Worry Less

There’s a lot to worry about! Everyone worries–right? 

What do you worry about? Your job? Your kids? Your marriage? Your future? Your health?

Why do we worry? What is it about human nature that gives us permission to worry? Is it feeling out of control? Is it overthinking? Or, are we trying to manipulate outcomes in our head? 

Worry is often connected to the future and what hasn’t occurred as yet. Worry can be very self-centered but not always. Worry keeps us clinging onto our own personal control of an issue. Worry carries with it the connotation that I know best or I control my circumstances. 

We all worry. We all live a life experiencing the inability to maintain full control, and that, is worrisome. When we lack control we worry, we obsess, we overthink and we lose sleep. 

Rick Warren says, “[Worry] can’t change the past, and it can’t change the future–but it can certainly ruin the present.” Worry will steal our joy and our happiness. It will rob us of our peace. 

Here is one of the best statements I have read when it comes to worry: “Worry is a conversation you have with yourself about things you cannot change. Prayer is a conversation you have with God about things He can change.” So, yes, prayer is the antidote for worry.

But that’s easier said than done. Worry seems like a natural and a quicker go-to than prayer. Maybe it’s just the way the enemy of our soul wants it because worry negates prayer. Said another way, worry is the opposite of prayer. Worry forces me to work out the situation while prayer puts the pressure upon God to bring the solution. When worrying, we can be attempting to control. When we pray, we can sense contentment as we present our petitions to the Father.

What does the Bible have to offer when it comes to worry? Philippians 4:6 states, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” Wow, that seems simple enough–worry about nothing and pray about everything!

And what did Jesus say when it comes to worry? “Don’t worry about tomorrow. After all, tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34) 

When we turn things over to God, we are at the same time confessing that we cannot control the situation. We are acting in submission to God and trusting His outcome. We worry about things that are out of our control, while God insists we accept that very lack of control and fully realize His control. Prayer will change your perspective and it will change you. Choosing prayer is letting go of control and trusting God for His outcome, not yours. 

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Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Marriage, Men, Postmarital, Premarital, Women

Marriage Issues are “Our” Issues

Someone recently commented to my wife and I, “Wow, it encourages us to know that Steve and Mary had marriages issues too.” They were reading about our marriage in our book, Staying Together. We laughed as we confessed there is no perfect couple or perfect marriage.

In the book, we describe something traumatic that occurred to Mary, my wife. And in the book, we described how it affected our marriage for several years. 

An issue Mary was dealing with became a marriage issue because we are one. What affects Mary affects Steve; what affects Steve affects Mary. 

I could have gone on in life and lived in a manner that blamed her for the issue. I could have told her to get counseling for herself without me by her side. I could have distanced myself from the issues that were causing other issues and simply said, “It’s your problem; get it fixed.”

But is that the right approach in marriage? Is that showing marital commitment? Is that caring for another’s needs? Husbands and wives take this approach everyday saying, “It’s not my problem.” But if we’re married–if we’re one–then it is not his or her problem, it is our problem. When I make it my spouse’s problem, I am saying that I do not need to change, I do not need to support them and I do not need to be concerned. But, when I make it our problem, we are then walking and working together toward solutions and a better and a stronger outcome.

Marriage is a gift of oneness. There are three mentions of oneness in the scriptures: God the Father, Son and Spirit are one. Jesus and His church are one. A husband and a wife are one. 

As one, individual problems become our problems. So, get in there and fight for and alongside your spouse through each and every life issue. Find solutions together. Walk together and pray together. And to that end, find agreement together over any and all life issues.

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