Category Archives: Children

Children, Encouragement, Leadership, Training

Have You Spoken a Blessing Lately?

I have been reminded recently of the words of blessing that we can speak and receive.  Reading the Old Testament books of Genesis and Exodus lately has been that reminder.  The blessing of God to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and the blessing of fathers to their children were so present in these two books.  It caused me to think about the fact that “the blessing” might be somewhat missing, dormant or at the least decreased among us as believers today.  The fact that we have been blessed from the many saints before us to the blessings that we can speak into the future is evident in the chapters of these two books.  When God speaks a blessing He does not revoke it with a…”whoops, wrong one.”  When Jacob showed up after hunting his game and desired his father’s blessing it had already been deceitfully stolen and Jacob asked, “Do you have only one blessing, my father?” Because of Joseph, the Egyptian’s were blessed.  Even Potiphar realized blessing from the life of Joseph.  The scripture says, “The blessing of the Lord was on everything Potiphar had, both in the house and in the field.”  In the book of Exodus, a blessing was pronounced on your food and water and freedom from sickness if you will bless the Lord in your worship.  That’s pretty powerful.  After all the many plagues, when Pharaoh finally summoned Moses and Aaron in order to give in and let the Israelites leave Egypt he said, “Take your flocks and herds, as you have said, and go. And also bless me.”  (Ex 12:32) After all the issues with this leader, he has the audacity to ask Moses for a blessing.  Even the resistant and ungodly knew the power of the blessing from the righteous.images

You are a blessing to your family, your local church ministry, your work place and your neighborhood.  You can bless or curse with your words and it will stick.  In obedience to the Lord, we bless and receive blessing. (Dt. 11:26)  You can bless your natural and your spiritual children today.  You can bless others in prayer – praying a blessing forward.  Because you are blessed, when you show up a blessing is present to those around you.  When you lack confidence, know you have been blessed.  When you are feeling insecure or fearful, remind yourself of the blessing of God to you as a son or daughter of God.  When someone curses you or speaks negative about you, return a blessing to them.  Bless those who curse you…  (Luke 6:28)  Our Father loves to bless and so should we as His children.

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Children, Marriage

The Most Important Need of a Child

Parents spend a lifetime caring for their children, from midnight feedings and diaper changes to teaching them to drive a car. Parenting is more than a full-time job and one that never really ends. Even when your children are grown and married, parents never stop influencing or being available to help and serve. I always loved parenting, the good and the not so enjoyable seasons. We never had the “terrible twos.” We decided to have the “terrific twos.” We never expected rebellious teenage years or a time of “sowing wild oats” as some teach. Children are the natural outcome of God’s design for marriage. Watching my grandson chase bubbles or find Easter eggs now brings back a flood of fond parenting memories. To have the privilege of parenting is simply a joy and a gift from our heavenly Father.IMG_0803

Mary and I discovered the most important key in raising children and it wasn’t a new video game, bicycle, larger home, extra allowance or more stuff. We discovered along the path of child rearing the greatest need of a child. We discovered the way in which a child is most secure, happy, and well-adjusted. Was it discipline? Was it maintaining appropriate boundaries? Was it providing for them? Was it loving them? Yes, a thousand times “yes” to each and every one of these most important areas. But, even more importantly, it was when my wife and I made the time to pray for them and then taught them to pray. It was training them to look to Someone outside themselves and their parents. It was training them to depend upon the Source of life, of esteem, of security, of provision, of love and of salvation. He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge. (Proverbs 14:26)

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Children, Encouragement

My Heavenly Father is a Gift Giver

It can be overwhelming for me to stop and consider the gifts my heavenly Father has bestowed upon me.  First and foremost there is the gift of my salvation.  Of course the gift of Holy Spirit living within me.  He has generously given me a wonderful and godly wife of almost 39 years.  I have three amazing children who have all gone to college and are now happily married living responsively on their own.  I have had the privilege of working for over 27 years in a ministry I love.  He has given me a home with many possessions.  To top it off, I am now a grandfather.   I am blessed with great health and wealth!

 

stock-vector-vector-set-of-hands-clients-purchasing-work-in-flat-retro-style.html.jpg  Those blessings toward me from heaven have caused me to be a giver.  I love giving gifts.  I usually give Mary gifts before it’s Valentines Day or even Christmas.  I anticipate and can’t wait to see her face when she is surprised with the new flowers on the dining room table.  I just can’t  seem to wait until the proper day to give.  I love giving gifts to my children.  One day we were enjoying a meal together with my adult children on our deck and I handed each of them some money just to bless them – no other reason.  My oldest son asked, “Who died” and provoked a bit of laughter.  When my children were teenagers, I would locate their wallets at random times and place a $20.00 bill in them.  Why?  My heavenly Father is an extravagant giver and I have come to believe that a sign of Christ-centered maturity is found in our ability to be generous.  The scripture states that as we water others we ourselves will be watered.  Has there been any dryness in your life lately? 

 

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Children, Leadership, Training

The Law of Attribution

I was helping a middle-aged man with a fear of suspended bridges a number of years ago.  His fear was that he literally could not drive his car across them.  He had to plan all of his travel in such a manner that he did not cross a bridge that spanned a river or a mountain valley.  Imagine how limiting that would make life.  After some digging around, he told me that when he was a young boy he and his grandfather were stopped in construction traffic at the peak of one of those bridges.  When you are just sitting on the amazing expanse of such a structure, you can actually feel the bridge sway.  It literally moves underneath your vehicle.  His grandfather began saying, “Do you feel that?”  Further, he teased his young heart and mind with, “The bridge is collapsing, THE BRIDGE IS COLLAPSING and we’re going to end up in the river.”

A spirit of fear came over the young man that day and it still gripped him as he sat before me shaking with the memory exposed.  To this man, bridges were something to fear.  A lie was spoken to him through innocent teasing and his soul and spirit received the lie.  The Law of Attribution, defined, says, “That which you attribute to be fearful and stress producing will be.”   When approaching a bridge, a warning light and alarm went off within him and told him to avoid it, pull over and back up.  There was no truth in the lie, but still fresh and deep within his memory bank.  What do you attribute to be fearful, anxiety or depression producing?  How has the law of attribution been put into effect within your life?  Stay tuned for more on the subject next week.

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Children, Encouragement

Whom am I Playing To?

The great American baseball player, Babe Ruth, once said, “Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from swinging for the fence.”   I remember as a young boy playing little league baseball.  I played for four straight years and in the final two years I was the first string catcher.  In that third and fourth year, I also remember that our team, the Moose Giants, came in first place.  We had some young, but talented pitchers and hitters.  It was great fun and excitement.  But, I also recall one other detail from those years.  Never once do I remember seeing my parents in the stands watching me play.  It just wasn’t their priority.

That memory causes me to sometimes ask myself, “Whom am I playing to?”  In other words, whom do I desire to be in my “stands,” cheering me on in both the good and the not so good?  Whose approval am I looking for?  There is a certain fear standing at home plate with a bat in hand.  One reassuring smile from the stands would have removed that fear.  It would have said, “Go ahead son, you can do it; I believe in you; so knock it out of the park.”  Many years ago this was settled in my heart when I heard my heavenly Father say to me, “ You are my beloved son in whom I am well pleased.”  And then He smiled reassuringly.  To whom are you playing to?

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Children, Encouragement, Marriage

Giving Away My Daughter

In two weeks I have the privilege of walking my baby girl down the aisle and then officiating the wedding ceremony.  While I felt so honored to be asked to perform the wedding, I now wonder about my sanity in agreeing to do it.  Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea, but am now the one with “cold feet” and wondering how I will get through it emotionally.  How do you “give away” your only daughter, the baby in the family?  She is about to spend more time married, with another man, than she ever spent with me, her father, growing up – it’s not fair.

I loved the growing up years from infancy on.  I was elated watching her first steps and missing her the moment she went off to kindergarten. I loved teaching her to ride a bicycle and playing softball in the front yard.  Her acting career in high school, although short-lived, was moments in time of sheer pride.  Teaching her to drive a car, a five speed, was exhilarating in more ways than one.  Sending her off to college four hours from her home…never easy.  Helping her move to Washington, DC for her first “real” job felt awkward at best.

But soon I will walk her down the aisle and then another man will walk her away from me.  There will be an exchange of authority, of leadership, of responsibility and another will be “laying down his life.”  I would do it all over again, from birth forward.  I would change some things, but not much.  I would not trade the struggles and tears, the laughter and joys for anything.  It is why God gave her to me (us) – to give her away, first to Him and then to His man for her.  It is why I/we spent thousands of hours training her and thousands of dollars raising her.  Brooke Megan, you are an amazing woman of God; you are a delight to my very soul.  “…Our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace.” (Ps. 144:12)

(If you are single and wondering what are the most important character traits in a life mate, then read my first 21 blogs.)

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Children, Encouragement, Marriage

God’s Creative Power in Marriage

The book of Genesis reveals God’s creative acts.  He placed a seed within every living thing in order for it to regenerate and multiply upon the earth.  He created mankind and told them to, “Be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth and subdue it.”  By placing a seed within us, He handed creation over to us.  We enter into creation with Him by producing offspring.  It’s miraculous, it’s life changing and it’s a gift.  I was able to be a part of each of my children’s birth.  I cried at all three of them, marveling in the very act of life.  It never left me wondering if there was a God; it literally proved otherwise for me.

I am now a grandparent…the seed remains and tiny Roman Philip Prokopchak has changed our family.  We all agree that he is an amazing gift, every breath, every smile and every new discovery is a wonder to behold.  I am in awe at the father heart of my son.  This weight lifting, body building 30-something has been smitten by the love of God delivered in a tiny 8.5 pound package.  My son found his “suitable helper” and together they have seen the favor and blessing of their Savior through marital oneness and creation continues.

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Children, Encouragement, Marriage

Giving Your Spouse Time for Transition

I can clearly remember returning home from a long day at the office and stepping into the kitchen of our apartment.  Supper was on the stove providing a pleasant aroma and a baby on my wife’s hip.  Two young boys were running around somewhere and Mary had a lot to catch me up on.  I barely got to put my briefcase down when I was handed our daughter in order for the table to be set.  Meanwhile, the boys found me and wanted dad’s attention immediately.  I loved it, but at the same time knew I needed a period of transition.

First, during my commute home I had to learn to take my work hat off and literally pray to put my husband, father and home hat on: transition number one.  Once I arrived home, facing a family that needed me immediately wasn’t always the easiest.  Could I at least change my cloths and while in the bedroom alone take a couple of moments to prepare myself to listen to my wife, care for my daughter and play with my sons?  This would be transition number two.  Help one another transition from work to home and family by giving one another a little transition time.  It’s simple, but necessary and will make for a better evening.

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Children, Encouragement, Leadership, Marriage, Postmarital, Premarital, Singles

Quick to Listen and Slow to Speak

We are told that we can speak 125 – 150 words a minute, but typically we think around 300 words a minute.  Those numbers themselves provide an inward conflict with the act of listening.  High school and college campus’s run courses on public speaking, but when is the last time you had the opportunity to sign up for a public listening course?  Most of us want to talk and be listened to rather than take the concentration needed to stop and really hear someone.  I heard someone say recently that hearing is a function of the ear, but listening is a function of your will.

When we listen we are exercising an expression of love.  We are saying this person is important enough to me to be listened to.  Proverbs has a way of cutting to the chase when it says, “ He who answers before listening – that is his folly and his shame.”  (Proverbs 18:13)  If we are constantly interrupting our spouse in order to interject our “important” thought, we have stopped listening and are thinking about our reply.  Do you realize people pay counselors $150.00 and more for fifty minutes of their time and feel better when leaving their office?  Some even fall in love with their therapist just because they feel validated and cared for.  What was the therapist’s secret?  He/she listened.  James admonished us to be quick to listen and slow to speak…pretty good advice for 2013.  Try it; you’ll be amazed at the results.

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Children, Encouragement, Leadership, Marriage, Postmarital, Premarital, Singles

The Number One Relationship Inhibitor

A few of years ago, I heard about a study of primary school children.  The study was centered on trying to discover the number one inhibitor to their creativity and eventually to their performance.  I was intrigued as to what these social scientists identified.  While there were many ingredients, there was one area that stood out as the number one killer of creativity and it wasn’t the loss of a parent or the family financial status.  The number one inhibitor was critical judgment.  When words of critical judgment are cast upon another human being, that person begins to suffer a creativity crisis that can lead to an identity crisis.

When a child hears these consistent words and tone of voice or nonverbal looks that say, “We never planned you; you were not wanted; you obviously don’t belong in this family,” they will begin to believe these words.  Their life will be scared and their demeanor, the look on their face or life expectations, will take on this spirit of critical judgment like a cloud hovering over them.

Do you want to “kill” your spouse and end up killing your marriage, then regularly speak words of critical judgment like, “I don’t know why I married a loser like you; of course you’re not ready on time, you never are; could you possibly be any more stupid; you are the world’s worst when it comes to directions; why can’t you get a better job?”  Or, if you want to begin a release of creativity and affirmation in your mate then try speaking words of blessing like, “You’re amazing; you work so hard; you look beautiful or handsome today; I am thrilled to be married to you; I love your hair that way.”  Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.  Proverbs 12:18

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