Category Archives: Healing

Challenge, Healing, Just for fun, Marriage, Men, Parents, Postmarital, Premarital, Women

Bringing Laughter into Your Marriage

My wife and I love to laugh. We’ll catch Funniest Home Videos whenever we can. I take the time to show her funny YouTube videos or share memes that cause a chuckle. Why? 

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
    but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. (Proverbs 17:22)

Laughter brings joy to a marriage. It breaks down tension and relaxes the atmosphere. Laughter is medicinal to the soul, the spirit and the body. Laughter is physically, emotionally, and spiritually good for your marriage. 

Have you ever asked your spouse these questions? “What made you laugh today?” Or how about, “What’s the funniest memory you have in our marriage?” Bringing laughter into your marriage can help move us from a stale place, an angry place or a disappointed place to a place of smiles and positive emotions. 

Mary and I recently recalled one of the funniest times in our marriage. It was years ago when our kids were teenagers and we had just dropped off our daughter for a church activity. We noticed that all the lights were on at the brand-new Burger King in our town. There was traffic and people were inside eating. We decided on a hamburger dinner. It was strange though…

As we entered, the new manager offered us champaign. We made our way to the line to order and the kids behind the counter offered anything we wanted, any menu item for FREE. I said, “Free, are you sure?” “Yes” said the attendant. She then countered, “Order all you want, even dessert; it’s all free!” I immediately leaned over and whispered in my wife’s ear, “We need to call our boys; they’ll show them how to do free.”

Mary went for our drinks while I grabbed a table. Within minutes she came running to find me. Looking straight at me with this horrid face of doom and speaking rapidly, but very quietly, said, “Steve, every person here is a parent of a kid who’s going to work here. It’s free because they are giving them opportunity to serve in real time to their families.” And then she added, “We have got to get out of here before someone asks us which of our kids will be working here!”

We gobbled our food down and hightailed it out of there. We found ourselves laughing for the next thirty minutes. We even woke up our sleeping daughter that night as we lay in our bed laughing out loud.

Laughing together will bring you closer; you’ll touch more and talk more. A conversation full of laughter is more intimate and will bring down your guard, creating an atmosphere of more openness.

Laughter– it’ll do your marriage good!

Our mouths were filled with laughter,
    our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
    “The Lord has done great things for them.” (Psalm 126:2)

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Challenge, Children, Encouragement, Healing, Issues of the Day, Leadership, Marriage, Men, Parents, Postmarital, Women

Does Going Through a Rough Patch in Our Marriage Disqualify Us from Ministry?

Every marriage has it challenges and some more than others. Does that disqualify us from ministry in our local church or elsewhere? The answer? Yes and no.

The first step is assessment. How long have we had this struggle? Is it a repeated struggle? Have we sought counsel for this particular issue? Do we avoid finding solutions? Are we actively trying to find solutions? Are we being stubborn and refusing personal change? Are either one of us in active sin? Are we blaming our spouse solely for the struggle and not taking any personal responsibility? 

The answers to these questions can help us determine whether we should be involved in ministry during this season of our relationship.

We recently experienced a couple sharing with us they feel disqualified for entering a couples’ ministry at this time because they are attempting to work through some of their own marriage issues. I asked them if they ever struggle raising their children or have they made huge mistakes in parenting. They said, “yes.” I then asked them if they should stop parenting or perhaps consider adopting out their children. As ridiculous as that sounds, sometimes it’s just as ridiculous to think disqualification from ministry over aggressively pursuing marital healing.

You must know if you can minister to others while experiencing conflict yourself, but neither does the conflict always disqualify you from serving others. It is out of our own pain sometimes that we learn to help others. And healed people can bring healing to many!

The key is, after assessment, chase healing. Give it everything you have and pursue growth in your marriage and in your individual lives. As we heal individually, our marriage will also experience healing. There is no perfect marriage, but we serve a perfect Savior who possesses all the answers we need for our daily life challenges!

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Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Identity, Issues of the Day, Marriage, Training

Trusting God for Vengeance or Justice?

Should we ever desire revenge? 

I can still vividly recall the counselee who confessed to me of being repeatedly molested by her father from childhood into adulthood. She was longing for answers, for freedom, for forgiveness to come and for hope. I can also remember how tense and tight (from anger) my body would become as she painfully shared her experience encompassing years of sexual abuse. And I, as well, remember her question of where was God?

Counselors are not to be the answer, but rather to help the counselee arrive at answers. However, as the counselor, I was fuming, struggling with what I felt her father deserved. But I wasn’t just having an emotional response; my emotions and my physical being, along with my spirit, were reacting to evil.

One thing I also remember from this time was that this precious woman did not seek God for revenge, but rather, justice. What’s the difference?

Revenge is pursued by a victim, but justice is provided by someone other than the victim. Revenge says that when I am hurt, I want to hurt back. Revenge is power over the offender. Justice is someone above the victim and the offender who takes the victim’s side and executes impartial righteousness. My counselee wasn’t asking that her father pay for his crimes against her, but rather, she was seeking justice from her heavenly Father. 

Christians are not to become professional victims. Christ brings far more justice and freedom than that. All His holiness reveals to us that His anger is just: “He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he.” (Deuteronomy 32:4)

I share this story because I believe there are times that all of us desire revenge. We long for someone to pay. Truthfully Someone has and His name is Jesus. Please consider Romans 12:17 and 19 which says, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone…. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord.’” 

Where was God? While we desire immediacy, God does not, but His justice will follow, and He will have the final word. 

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Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Prayer

Healed of a Blood Disorder

Have you suffered with an illness for a long time? Perhaps you’ve seen numerous doctors only to still have multiple symptoms. Twelve long years a woman, who is described in the Bible, dealt with a bleeding disorder. 

One day she heard the news that Jesus was coming her way. She caught wind that this Jesus was a “healer” or something of the sort. All else had failed her; why not try to get near Him? This woman, with forceful determination, pushed her way through the crowd, and with certain faith got close enough to touch Jesus.

The Gospel of Matthew relates this true story in chapter nine. It records that she came up from behind Him and simply touched the edge of His outer garment thinking to herself, “If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed.” (verse 21)

Jesus immediately turned and caught her hopeful eyes. Rather than rebuke her for touching Him He said, “Take heart, daughter, your faith has healed you.” Can you imagine? Twelve years of suffering gone in an instant of reckless, yet relentless faith. When Jesus turned, she knew that He knew who touched Him. Such a powerful moment recorded for us to have similar faith for healing.

It happened to me

It was 1976, my second year of marriage. I was leaving the military and applying for a job with a military contractor. I got the job but had to qualify by passing a medical exam. I failed the exam!

I thought I was a perfectly healthy 22-year-old who would fly through any medical exam. Not so. I had a low white blood cell count and had to subject myself to multiple blood drawings. Each time my white cell count became lower. Finally, a bone marrow test was ordered.

My newly married wife, a nurse, had fears of the worst – leukemia. The night before the bone marrow exam was to take place, the elders of our local church prayed for me. (You will see this in the scripture recorded in James 5: 14-16.)  

My marrow was tested and no disorder discovered. From that point, I had to endure blood drawing two times a week, but every time the results came back my white cell count was improving. It improved to normality.

I had touched the edge of that same garment and was healed!

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Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Identity, Issues of the Day, Men, Parents, Singles, Small Groups, Training, Women

Shame: A Tool of God or the Enemy?

Many of us, if not all of us, are well acquainted with the emotional upheaval of shame. Since almost the beginning of our existence on earth, shame has been present. 

Does shame serve a purpose? Is there a biblical or spiritual reason for shame? Is shame always considered something bad? Can shame motivate us? Should Christians ever accept feelings of shame?

Where it all began

God created a perfect world and placed mankind into a perfect garden – His garden. With the fall of man, came what is known today as the emotion of shame. The Lord God called to Adam and asked him where he was. God couldn’t find him? Not so. God could not find the Adam that previously faced Him without shame and fear. 

“He [Adam] answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid. And he [God] said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” (Genesis 3:10-11)

Fear and shame of Adam’s nakedness filled his heart, and the separation from his Maker began. Then, in response to the shame they felt, what does God do for Adam and Eve? By verse 21, God was handcrafting garments for Adam and Eve. Why? To cover their nakedness and to remove shame.

Just what is shame?

Because we as humankind are so full of pride when we fail or we sin, our pride creates a desire to hide just as Adam did. We failed and we don’t know how to deal with the feelings we feel. As God’s creation who desired to be like God, we fail to live up to our own expectations, the expectations of others, and/or what we feel God expects. And that is enough to bring about feelings of shame and disappointment. 

Shame creates false thinking like: I am a bad person because of my failure. I will never be good enough. I deserve to feel bad because I constantly come up short. I am worthless. I’ve been such a fool. Shame is something we place upon ourselves when we have thoughts like these.

I dealt with shame

As a child growing up in the 1950’s and 1960’s, parents often used shame as a means of attempting to correct wrong behavior. They thought they could shame us into better or more appropriate responses. They did this through words like, “You should be ashamed of yourself, acting like that.” Or we often heard this one, “What are you, stupid?” And then there was this one, “How could you be so dumb?” Shame-filled words do not administer correction, they create a defeated self-concept of oneself that can eventually lead to a very low esteem or even self-punishment.

Our Lord does bring discipline and correction to us, but He does it in a life-giving, loving way. His goal is not to crush our spirit with the use of shame, but to correct in a spirit of hope and encouragement to change our beliefs, thoughts and actions. 

Why then do Christians struggle with shame?

For many of us who have trusted in Jesus for our salvation, shame can still plague us. The enemy of our soul wants to remind us of our past deeds, sins, mistakes and then bring back the familiar feelings of shame. Often there are voices and scenes stuck in our heads with old video messages of shame-filled words that multiple people spoke over us. We often give in to those false messages and we allow these persons and their voices to have power over us.

It’s interesting that we are told in the scriptures our heavenly Father does not hold shame or sin over us. Why? Because it is not a motivator for becoming shame-free. In fact, God’s word says, “Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
and everlasting joy will be yours.” (Isaiah 61:7) Instead of shame…everlasting joy.

Also, through divine inspiration, the prophet Isaiah wrote these power-filled words: “Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrows of your widowhood.” (54:4)

As Christians, we can still struggle with shame because we do not realize the price that our Savior paid for that shame. How can I be so confident of that? Listen to what Paul wrote to the Roman church, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” (Romans 10:11) The more we believe God’s word (His promises and not the tapes in our head from our former misbeliefs), the more truth that we store in our spirit, and the more faith and hope we have in the penalty Jesus paid. Consequently, the freer we become of shame.

Again, Peter harmonizes with Paul and writes, “For in Scripture it says: ‘See I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame.’” (I Peter 2:6)

Stop hiding

Adam and Eve hid, and we’ve been hiding from God ever since. There is only one place that we are called to hide, only one place where we can rid ourselves of shame, and only one place where there is no longer any fear that leads to shame: “…fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2)

Jesus was led like a sheep to the slaughter, arrested, mocked, spit on, beaten, insulted, given a crown of thorns – all a picture that was full of shame and humiliation. Jesus chose to obey His Father as He bore our shame and our guilt through a torturous and agonizing death.

There is no other place to go for freedom, for atonement, and for cleansing of our shame. Shame always says we’re guilty, but from the cross Jesus said that guilt and shame were paid for. He died for shame-filled sexual sin, theft, out of control anger, abuse, and anything else you can name from your life. When we repent of our sin and receive Him as our Savior, He pronounces over us that the penalty for our sin, the guilt, the shame, the menicing weakness we feel is covered by His blood and sacrifice on the cross. And from that cross He says, “Shame off of you!”

Jesus is the only one that we can trust to deal with our shame. He helps us to flee from the sin-filled choices we once made and lifestyles we once lived. In desiring to please Him, we can turn over those old video files and request that they be erased – permanently. We no longer need to feel ashamed.

“In you oh Lord, I put my trust; let me never be ashamed; deliver me in your righteousness.” (Psalm 31:1)

“In you, Lord, I have refuge; let me never be put to shame.” (Psalm 71:1)

“I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame,  nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause.” (Psalm 25:2,3)

Choose a life of joy, free of condemnation

As we confess our sin, our fear, and our shame, believe God to release you of those burdens. Forgive those persons who spoke words of shame over you. Often those persons spoke out of their own shame-filled souls. Make use of the scriptures in this article to counteract the lies and the misbeliefs of your past. Remember that it is not what others think of you, it’s what your heavenly Father thinks of you and what Christ has done for you on the cross. Finally, live out the truth of this verse, “There is, therefore, now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” (Romans 8:1)

“Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.”(Psalm 34:5)

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Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, History, Issues of the Day

God’s Tinkering

For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son…  Romans 8:29

Henry Ford, as the story is told, hired an electrical wizard to repair one of his huge electrical motors.  Charlie Steinmetz came, found the problem, repaired it and sent Mr. Ford a bill for $10,000.00.  Henry Ford could not imagine such a large expense for “a little bit of tinkering.”  Surely Charlie placed too many zeros on his invoice.  Mr. Steinmetz’s response to Henry was simple: $10.00 for “tinkering” and $9,990.00 for “knowing where to tinker.”

In order for God to conform us to His image it takes a bit of tinkering.  I imagine it to be something like Holy Spirit crawling down into the sewers of our soul to remove that which does not honor Him in order to rebuild and conform us to that which does honor Him.  While all of us desire change to happen instantly, so much of being conformed takes a life time.  

We all have a past, but when we came to Jesus, the cross made the difference between us and our histories.  Jesus became a curse for us so that we could become redeemed from the curse (Gal. 3:13).  The cross separated us from, “…the empty way of life handed down to [us]” (I Pet. 1:18).  And, we were made alive, our sins forgiven…taken away and nailed to the cross (Col. 2:13-14).  Jesus is the great Counselor and we celebrate Easter this weekend becasue His tomb is empty and He is alive!

Ask the Holy Spirit, the One whom Jesus sent, to continue to conform your life today – He knows exactly where to tinker.

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Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Issues of the Day, Just for fun, Prayer

The Healing Power of Water

Did you know it’s a proven fact that when we’re around water, for example, oceans, lakes, streams and rivers, we are calmer, exhibit less anxiety and can actually be rejuvenated? Water activities like swimming, skiing, snorkeling, and surfing are said to help us enter into a state of calmness.

Vast bodies of water produce a state of awe. That’s an emotional response to how we actually view our world and our personal perspective within that world. Even the sound of water has a soothing effect on us, while the smell of an ocean breeze can trigger good memories and sooth the human soul. 

Water has a rhythm to it. Think of the constant, repeated movement of waves on the seashore or the babbling brook. Rain on a roof is especially rhythmic and pleasant to some persons. Water can hold our attention for hours and bring a sense of fascination that helps us relax our brains and slow down our thoughts. All that reveals a truth: water is restorative.

However, here are some biblically interesting thoughts that I want to share with you about water. A lot of Jesus’ life, miracles and sermons either involved water or were around water. For example: Jesus’ baptism, teaching from Peter’s fishing boat, walking on water, calming the raging sea and making breakfast for His disciples after His resurrection. And lastly, one of my favorite verses in the Bible also involved water and I love its connotations:

Matthew chapter 13 and verse one states, “That same day, Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake.” That’s it. That’s the whole verse. 

What was Jesus doing by the lake? Was he fretting over his day? Was He going over His to-do list? Was He contemplating His anticipated encounters with the Pharisees? I think He was sitting by the lake to experience the refreshment of a body of water and admiring His creation. He was centering Himself before His day would begin. 

Water will do that. So find a body of water or some form of nature that speaks to your spirit and calms your soul and “sit by it”… frequently. 

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Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Insecurity, Issues of the Day

Rejection is Sometimes God’s Protection

We all know how much we embrace and love rejection, right? Normally, rejection hurts and we avoid it at all cost. But sometimes rejection is actually God’s protection. How so?

Think about the time you were rejected for a promotion only to be offered a better job a few months later. Think about the rejection from your girlfriend only to later discover the person you would actually marry. Think about a word of rejection from a close friend, once again to discover it was true and prompted personal change.

There are rejections in this life that somehow, by the hand of God, turn into a blessing of protection for His child. He is ultimately concerned for your greatest good, certainly not your hurt. 

I can recall being rejected while in a serious relationship only to have my eyes opened to eventually discover the one I would marry six months later. At the time, I could see no redemptive purpose in that letter of rejection, but given over to God, He would use it to bring someone else into my world. That was 52 years ago!

I have experienced many rejections since then, only to discover God’s hand was in it because, “…we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

If Jesus is the Lord of your life, you have an unfair advantage even when it comes to rejection. Nothing gets by God…nothing. He loves you and has your best interest in mind! He can turn rejection into protection and with it provide you with new direction.

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Challenge, Healing, Identity, Issues of the Day, Men, Pornography, Singles, Women

Healing for Sexual Addictions

One thing we know from God, the Creator of sexuality, is that His love is completely satisfying. One thing we know from the evil one is that lust is insatiable and can never be satisfied. Pornography and lust are a drive to serve oneself rather than one’s life mate or others.

Viewing pornography may start through curiosity, attempts to fill a void, the need to heal or cover up a deep wound, or just a desire to escape. But escapes have a way of becoming addictions. These could include food, alcohol, TV, novels, caffeine, or many other categories of addictive behavior. Addictions have a way of pulling us away from God, the One who provides a true way of escape. 2 Timothy 2:26 says, “And that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.”

The New Testament Writers Acknowledge Our Struggle

Our human struggle with sexual intimacy and sin is acknowledged in Scripture. I love these verses that Paul writes under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit: “But since there is so much immortality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each another except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:2–5).

Viewing porn as a “pastime” is extremely harmful and creates a way for the sexual exploitation of innocent victims. We all need to educate and raise awareness of these dangers in our families, communities, schools, and congregations.

Licentiousness (“debauchery” in the NIV) – This means “excessive indulgence in sensual pleasures, lacking virtue.” Sexual acts on display in pornographic material are acts of fornication because they involve sexual contact outside of marriage. To take part is to condone these acts and involve ourselves in the sin of licentiousness. (See 2 Corinthians 12:21.)

Lust – Pornographic materials are meant to generate sexual arousal in our flesh through lust. Lust, according to the Scripture, is sin. It is corruption of our spirit, our mind, and our flesh. (See Matthew 5:28 and James 1:14-15.)

Sensuality – According to Scripture, observing nakedness is a sinful behavior. For example, in Genesis 9:21–22, Noah’s son, Ham, was cursed because he observed his father’s nakedness, but his brothers Shem and Japheth covered their father with their faces turned the other way. 1 Corinthians 6:12–18 – The body is not for sexual immorality; we are told to flee from sexual immorality. Galatians 5:19 – The deeds of the flesh are immorality, impurity, and sensuality.

The Path to Freedom

A friend of mine told me, “When I was participating in porn, I genuinely loved God, but I also loved porn–at my soul level. At the same time, I also hated it because it brought shame, bondage, ongoing guilt and I wanted to be free. There is a false fulfillment with porn that connects with who I am. Growing up in a pretty strict home with a religion connected to performance, I felt that I could never please God. I just wasn’t good enough. However, when my heavenly Father brought to me the revelation of Ephesians 1: 4-6, I suddenly realized I was chosen, I was adopted, I was loved, and I was accepted as God’s son.” 

Despite so many challenges, certain foundational principles and action steps can lead you to the way of escape that God provides.

  1. God is love (1 John 4:8). If you know nothing else, know God’s love for you. It is inescapable, incomprehensible, determined, and relentless. He loves you and Jesus died for this sin on the cross. He does not reject you.
  2. We all struggle to maintain a clean heart. Many really good people also struggle with sin, even the sin of pornography. You are not alone. Whatever the effects of sin may be, grace is available in abundance to bring healing and freedom.
  3. Recognize that pornography affects the whole individual. God desires to cleanse and heal not only your mind, but longs to set you free from lust, fear, anxiety, wounds, frustration, emptiness, and shame. He died, naked and exposed, for sexual shame on the cross and says to us, “Shame off of you through my sacrifice.”
  4. Disclose and confess your sin to God, yourself, and others. Start being brutally truthful about yourself and your sin. Acknowledge that you have been walking in denial. Uncover the lies. Take full responsibility and recognize the gravity of your situation. Be ruthlessly truthful with yourself, your spouse, and your counselor. Receive God’s forgiveness, because He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sin (1 John 1:9).
  5. Embrace conviction of heart coming from the Holy Spirit and deeply repent. Allow God to bring you to a place of true repentance. Ask yourself, “Who is this hurting?” “What is this costing me in my relationships, finance, time, self-deprivation, and life goals?” Do a personal damage assessment. Ask God’s forgiveness and request His help to forgive yourself.
  6. Be aware of the neurological aspect of this addiction and the brain chemicals involved. Pornography addiction is not just a moral problem. You have created paths for your brain to need and desire the chemical charge provided by porn. These paths that have been flooded with imagery of what is false will need to be starved to death. This is not about reading your Bible more or praying more; a transformation is needed. It starts when you identify what triggers you to use porn. As you identify these triggers, you can ask God why they are triggers, what healing is needed, and how to locate that healing. This requires intense self-examination (confronting your habits) as you scrutinize how your thoughts and feelings have shaped your beliefs. God can reveal whether or not those beliefs are true or are based on lies. Ask your heavenly Father for truth to replace the lies (Romans 8:5-9; 12:1-2).
  7. Locate any deep wounds from your past to discover how those wounds have affected you. If you are unable to deal with your past, you will just be treating symptoms over and over. For example, you could ask: “Is there a shame-filled sexual wound? Did I experience abuse of some kind, then retreat and find comfort in pornography or masturbation?” In seeking these answers, invite and expect Holy Spirit to be your companion and guide.
  8. Discover relational healing by purposefully mending broken relationships. Find new relationships that will help you heal. These could be support groups, a personal counselor, or close accountability with a trusted friend. Monitoring software can be useful, but will not replace real-time accountability to those who love you and care for you. You need a community around you.
  9. Utilize appropriate resources. Find what fits you in terms of books, videos, or other resources. A video series like the Conquer Series, groups like Pure Desire and websites like Faithfulandtrue.com or Be Broken Ministries can be extremely helpful. Fortunately, today there are quite a number of resources and websites available to help those who desire to overcome the power of pornography in their lives. Search on the internet for Christ-centered materials and computer prevention programs like Covenant Eyes and X3Watch to place on your devices.
  10. Go through deliverance ministry. Your mind needs renewal. Deliverance can be helpful to cleanse out the demonically oriented material that has entered your soul and spirit. Openness to evil creates a pathway for more evil. Total freedom can be found in deliverance.

Tying It All Together with the Story of Joseph

There is a wonderful story in the Bible of holy resistance followed by incarceration, but then redemption and hope for a family and a nation. That story is the story of Joseph.

In Genesis Chapter 39, we read the account of Joseph, who was serving in Potiphar’s house. The Bible says God blessed him and he prospered in his Egyptian master’s home. God gave him success in everything he did. In time, the blessing that followed Joseph also affected Potiphar’s household, and Joseph was placed in charge of everything Potiphar owned.

Joseph was described as “well-built and handsome,” and he made a noticeable impression on Potiphar’s wife. She repeatedly attempted to allure Joseph by saying, “Come to bed with me!” Joseph stood firm and refused. Joseph’s words were, “How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?”

Joseph’s response cost him his job and his freedom because Potiphar’s wife lied about Joseph attempting to “make sport of me,” or, as we might say, “rape me.” Even so, Joseph refused to compromise his integrity.

Joseph did not fail his test. Had he given in to temptation, it could have caused the death of millions by famine. He would have never been reunited with his family and he would not have had the opportunity to interpret Pharaoh’s dreams. The favor of God rested on Joseph because he stood firm. Otherwise, he would have been just one more leadership casualty.

The point is clear. You and I have a destiny given to us by God. Your freedom from the sin of pornography is not just about you, but the hundreds that you touch. Your life-long call is tied in to others with the life call of Jesus. When many of those around grow sick of their life of sin, you will have the answer for them, as well as a life that exemplifies that answer. Be a hero like Joseph and confess his words with me: “How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against my God?”

“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all” (Psalm 34:17–19).

God is our deliverer. He delivered Joseph. He can deliver us.

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Challenge, Healing, In the news, Issues of the Day, Men, Parents, Training, Women

Why are We so Anger Centric Today?

Anger seems to be the go-to emotional reaction in so many areas of our lives these days.

We’re angry at our boss. We’re angry at our spouse, our kids, our parents, our neighbor. We’re angry at the politician, the news reporter, our electric company, and the sports team we follow. Where does it stop and why is anger one of the quickest emotions we gravitate toward?

No one is born angry. We interpret our environment, the conversation, the lies we’re being told or the noncaring response of our boss as anger producing. We’re living in and with a short-fused society, as if anger is the magic pill to help us obtain what we think we need.

Normally, anger occurs when we experience a blocked goal; a desired outcome is unrealized because someone or something is in our way. Roadblocks are not necessarily bad. Sometimes they keep us from a more dangerous situation. And yet, in anger we want to blow up the roadblock. 

But let’s not be naïve; there actually is good anger – righteous anger if you will. And there is the not-so-good anger: anger related to selfish ambition. One is desiring what God desires and one is full of selfish motive or personal gain, i.e., wanting what we want. Righteous anger is rooted in what is best for another. Selfish anger is rooted in what is best for me.

Think about the last time you became angry. Was there a blocked goal? Who or what was blocking it? How did you respond? Was the anger there to protect another (for example, your child) or was it there to protect yourself? 

When we with little thought emotionally turn to anger, we forfeit the opportunity for process and often personal growth. If my wife does something that blocks my goal I can yell at her and then use anger to “push” her out of my way. Or, I can stop, take a time out and pursue a conversation about the blocked goal. As I listen to my wife and then process with her, I or she can discover what the need or desire is. We can then pursue it together. 

The prescription for long-term or short-term anger is given to us by Jesus. He had one answer and one answer only: forgive as you have been forgiven (Matthew 6: 14, 15 and Ephesians 4:32). There is no other way. Forgiving brings freedom, it releases anger and it can help bring reconciliation. Forgiveness is medicine to your heart and your soul. Forgiveness releases the captive bound by anger, primarily you.

Forgiveness is not saying what was a wrong toward you is now right; it’s saying that you release the person who hurt or offended you because you also need forgiveness. 

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