Does it sound odd to say or admit that our marriage has a relationship with money? There is this amazing verse in the Bible that says, “But godliness with contentment is great gain.” Most couples believe that if they had more money they would be more content. From that juncture, we can find ourselves fighting and arguing over money all too often. But money in and of itself doesn’t bring contentment
Contentment is a state of the heart, mind and the spirit and not our level of income or the amount of savings we have accumulated. Contentment certainly isn’t generated by the amount of stuff we collect. Our possessions might bring convenience, but not contentment. We can purchase a new car, but sure enough a new and improved model is just around the corner, making ours feel old and outdated.
Being content means we are satisfied, we are at ease of mind. Our relationship as a couple with money can bring contentment or take us to discontent. In reality, we can become consumed with the need for more. Contentment, the scripture relates, is generated by godliness. Godliness is conforming to the desires of God. And when God says He will meet all of our needs according to His riches, we can stop striving, stop living in discontent and begin being at ease with one another and ourselves.
How else can we arrive at contentment over finances in our marriage? Here are five tips:
- Create a budget and follow it.
- Have a weekly money date and talk about your finances openly without argument.
- Give one another a spending allowance and be generous.
- Stop the name calling like “Spender” or “Tight wad.”
- Pray over your finances regularly.
If we connect lasting happiness with the accumulation of money or things, our happiness will always be short-lived. If we connect happiness with godliness we will find ourselves becoming all the more satisfied with where we are financially and trusting God for where He desires to take us.
I just love this wisdom, “Keep yourselves free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13: 5)
I had researched it thoroughly. I did my homework. We acquired the financing. We prayed together about it. It all checked out except for one minor detail…she said, “No.” SHE, my wife, was saying no to some vacant ground WE were interested in purchasing. Ok, so it’s a no, but why? Why after this being the third property we researched and visited was it yet another no?
At first I was a bit taken aback by the expression that was just spoken half jokingly. It went like this, “We’re always in agreement; we do what she says.” Do you find yourself all too often acquiescing to your spouse’s desires in order to head off an argument? Should you be doing that?
Why don’t you have an extramarital affair? Seriously, be honest with yourself and answer the question. What did you come up with? If I could guarantee you will never be found out, you’ll never get caught, would your answer change?
I have a theory and I believe the testimony of hundreds of married couples backs up this theory. The theory is the more sex you have outside of marriage, the less sex you have within marriage.
“The truth is, I never loved her.” Unfortunately, I’ve heard these words more than once. Since I probably never have been totally honest in my response, I’ll be honest with you.
We make a personal choice with whom we marry – no one forces us. Do you want to stay in love? Then love your spouse with all your heart. Do you want to be happy? Then work toward making your spouse happy. Ask God to show you all of your personal selfish desires so that you can continue your love commitment through every stage of your marriage.
I could barely believe the conversation that was going on in front of me. It was impossible not to hear. The international airline lounge was packed with weary travelers and I needed to stay put while waiting for my flight. I’ll get back to this story later and tell you about the specifics of this conversation, but first let’s consider a hard question.
Individuals are “hooking up” at the workplace, on social media and along the sidelines of their kids sporting events. We tend to have an insatiable desire for understanding and a listening ear and when we receive that from someone other than our spouse, we are walking on shaky ground.
Recently while in the nation of New Zealand, a friend pointed to a fellow teacher and said, “See that older gentleman?” I assured him that I did. He went on to explain, “I am younger than him and I am retired from teaching.” I asked why he chooses not to retire figuring the conversation was leading that way. My friend replied, “He tells me he wants to continue teaching because it is far better than going home and living with his critical wife.”
In God’s word, Ephesians chapter five is where we often find ourselves concerning the husband and wife relationship. We tend to quote those parts that we like in these verses, but often fail to remember the parts that require effort from us. For example, what man doesn’t like the fact that God requires a woman to respect her husband? And, what woman doesn’t like the part that asks a husband to love his wife?
Steve Prokopchak 