Author Archives: calledtogether

Encouragement, Training

Don’t Believe Half of What You Think

Several weeks ago I was in the state of Oregon and I saw a bumper sticker, which read, “Don’t believe half of what you think.”  I am unclear as to what the driver meant by this sticker, but I was certainly hoping that he was thinking clearly and believing that safe driving is the only option.   I really liked what this particular bumper sticker had to say.  There seems to be some truth to it.  Romans 12: 2 actually tells us to be transformed by a mind that is being renewed.  That word, “renew” in the Greek is, Anakainoisis.  It means to adjust the moral and spiritual vision and thinking toward the mind of God, which is actually designed to have a transforming effect upon one’s life.

There is this old nature in us that seems to be at war with our new nature.  Our old nature likes to get its own way through anger, rage, selfishness, manipulation, impurity, etc.  In actuality we are to starve this nature to death and not feed it…put it off as Colossians three tells us.  I have discovered that it is God’s nature to give us something new (better) instead.  For example, if my grandson picks up a sharp object I will remove and replace it with something that is not dangerous to him.  Salvation is regeneration, all things becoming new.  The process is growing in truth as Christ’s Spirit in our spirit teaches our mind a new reality.  A battle that can be won.  In the movie, First Knight, Lancelot said something about battle that applies to this fight.

  1. Anticipate your enemy’s move – be thinking ahead of him.
  2. In every battle there is a turning point – wait and watch for it.
  3. Don’t be concerned about dying – it’s what we’re called to.
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Marriage, Postmarital, Prayer, Premarital

Couples Can Fight and Argue or Pray and Agree

Early in our marriage, Mary and I came to a bit of a revelation, but not without a challenge at first  We could choose to fight and argue or we could pray and agree together.  Disagreement is powerful and even of use at times, but even more powerful is agreement.  The scriptures tell us that if any two persons will agree together in prayer they will receive what they are asking for.  Our major disagreements centered on the fact that Mary was a “spender” and I was a  “saver” when it came to our view of finances.  Those two different priorities would often clash.  Both views had their positives and both had their negatives.  Serving in missions at the time meant that we had very few resources, but truthfully we can fight and argue when we have a lot of money, as well as, very little money.  We had to move beyond who was right or who was wrong to prayer and asking God for His direction, discernment and provision.

At that time, we had lots of needs with two small children and it was necessary to come to the place that regardless of income level, the most important priority was to move forward in agreement.  We discovered that as we sought the Lord first, He enabled us to see our partner’s view more quickly.  He helped us to move toward wanting to bless the other rather than withhold and remain selfish.  He helped us to see that our use of the terms “spender” and “saver” were terms of judgment and became negative to us.  Rather, He gave us new language.  Mary was actually a “giver” and I was a “planner “for future needs.  As we began to pray and agree over our financial needs, we found a place of power.  With fewer arguments or the fear of disagreement, it was much easier to work on a realistic budget and to stick to it.  If you find yourself fighting and arguing more than praying and agreeing, try taking your request to God first and see how He can help you to find the power of agreement.

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Encouragement, Leadership

A Listening Challenge

I was talking to a young man recently, maybe 27 or 28 years old.  He had multiple piercings and quite a few visible tattoos that did not represent positive themes.  His cloths were a bit too large, which I did not perceive to be a fashion statement.  Further, he was in need of deodorant.  I went up to him and asked him about his life story and what his dream is.  This young man took off with a plethora of words about a successful music career in Hollywood, CA with many “rock stars,” one of them being him.  He, further into the conversation, said he lived in Nashville, TN where he was a “country music sensation” dropping some well-known names.  At another time in the conversation, he told me he spent two and a half years incarcerated in Florida, on “false charges” of course.

As I was listening, I found myself thinking about what might be truth and what might not be.  I was wondering about his reality.  I was captivated by his incessant desire to be someone of worth and value, someone famous.  When we are attentive in our listening, we are making a statement that the one speaking is important.  It could have been easy to be distracted or simply want to move away from this person, but Jesus would have listened intently.  Jesus would have cared about his personal story even if it were fabricated.  Jesus would have given him every minute he needed without judgment.  And then He would have posed a pointed question like, “Do you know how much I love you with or without worldly success?”  Or, He might have said, “The kingdom of God is not meat or drink, but righteousness, peace and joy.”  How can I be more like Jesus today and who needs my listening ear without my judgement?

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Encouragement, Leadership

Being Human and Temptation (Part II)

In part one we said that a temptation is an appeal made upon a weakness within you.  Temptation is not wrong; we all have them.  Temptation is satan’s way of pulling you away from God thoughts, an unhealthy distraction from the focus of obeying your heavenly Father.  Even if it lasts only seconds, you still need to face it scripturally and not simply avoid it or wait until it seems to have passed because you know it will return with a vengeance.  I Corinthians 10: 13 tells us that God makes a way of escape from temptations.  What are those ways?

First, identify the weak area(s).  Acknowledge them, be accountable with them, pray over them and seek healing through the work of the Holy Spirit.  If you take the weakness out of the dark and bring it into the light, you give the enemy less to work with.  Be honest before God about them, confessing to Him your weak areas.  Next, study yourself, listen to your self-talk and discover when you are most susceptible to listening to the enemy’s voice.  For me, I have learned that it is when I am physically and emotionally spent.  Then ask yourself if any life changes are necessary in order to be less susceptible.  I had to discover just how much sleep I actually needed on a daily basis.  Further, I had to recognize and acknowledge personal stress areas rather than be in denial of them.  Lastly, keep inviting Holy Spirit into the process to show you areas of healing still needed within your soul.

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Encouragement

Being Human and Temptation (Part I)

We know the enemy of our soul is a liar, a manipulator and masterful at deception.  From the time he was cast upon the earth, he has attempted to cause us to miss the mark and disappoint our Lord.  Amazingly, he doesn’t seem to let up.  He waits for the perfect time, a time when you are physically exhausted, feeling down mentally or emotionally and/or exasperated with life.  He seems to know when you are most susceptible to his slithering alongside you to whisper a half-truth in your ear.   It might be in the middle of a time of fasting or prayerful concern over a loved one.  It could be that you are experiencing a physical disorder or family life disruption that feels bigger than life itself.  I can almost guarantee that it will be when you least expect it, with your guard down – a total surprise.

It’s a trap and he’s setting you up.  The bait is hanging out in front of you and you’re not thinking correctly, you’re unprepared.  Temptation is an appeal made upon a weakness within you.  That weakness may not even be clearly identified, but it is there or, at the very least, lying dormant.  The enemy wants to resurrect it and defeat you with something you were unprepared to face at the moment you had to face it.  It is a stealth attempt to tap into that weak area, not wanting you to recognize what is happening.  It is blindsiding you, coming from an unexpected direction or angle.  If you allow its pull, you’ll be sucked in before you know it.  It will go from temptation to sin quicker than lighting striking during an electric storm.  In part two, let’s take a closer look at overcoming the evil one’s temptation.

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Uncategorized

Giving Away My Daughter, the Wedding Day

Several weeks ago I had the privilege of walking my baby girl down the aisle and then doing an about-face and performing the marriage ceremony.  It was a sacred, holy and God-honoring time.  My biggest fear?  Tears.  How do you look at your daughter of 28 years and perform the ceremony to give her “away?”  As I started by sharing some personal stories, we both cried.  But then I had the privilege of speaking a ten-minute message to this husband and wife to be.

I take personal issue with long and boring wedding messages that are more about the messenger than the couple receiving the message.  I decided that four quick points would suffice (how many listeners would remember even one of them?).  1. Marriage is a creation act of God; it’s from the beginning.  Therefore, it precedes Christianity by a few thousand years (Genesis 2:24).  That said, Christ agreed with this creation act, as the New Covenant was about to unfold, one man with one woman – a holy union (Matthew 19:4-6). 2. The purpose of marriage is not to have my needs met or even marrying the right person.  The purpose of marriage is about becoming the right person, a Christ-like person, as the challenges of married life grow us up.  3. The “why” of marriage is our personal marriage mission statement.  As God had a mission in sending His Son, we too have a mission in marriage.  4. Always, always, always remember the six most important words in marriage, “I am sorry, I was wrong.”  And, consider making it nine words with the addition of: “Please forgive me.”  Congratulations my beautiful one.

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Encouragement, Small Groups, Training

The Law of Attribution II

Last week we gave a clear example of the law of attribution in someone’s life.  Did you think of any examples from your own life?  When we believe something to be stress producing, it will be.  I have been in many traffic jams and find it rather amusing as I look around at the different reactions among drivers.  One driver is visibly frustrated and on their phone, another on their GPS trying to find an alternative route, others are yelling at someone in the car or at no one and still another is just sitting there calmly reading a book.  What is the difference between the one yelling and the one reading?  It’s the same traffic jam.  No one is going anywhere and yet one is enjoying the moment and another is steaming with anger.  That which we attribute to be stress producing will be.

Is there an answer to this dilemma?  Romans 8:15 says, “For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.”  Jesus never feared the storm.  In fact, He even slept through one in the bottom of a boat.  I love Psalm 112:7 which says, “He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.”  Why?  Verse eight tells us, “His heart is secure, he will have no fear…” We make the choice to be in fear, in anxiety or stress.  When we do so, we are saying that our issue is too big for God to handle or be concerned with.  And that thought, my friend, is full of pride.

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Children, Leadership, Training

The Law of Attribution

I was helping a middle-aged man with a fear of suspended bridges a number of years ago.  His fear was that he literally could not drive his car across them.  He had to plan all of his travel in such a manner that he did not cross a bridge that spanned a river or a mountain valley.  Imagine how limiting that would make life.  After some digging around, he told me that when he was a young boy he and his grandfather were stopped in construction traffic at the peak of one of those bridges.  When you are just sitting on the amazing expanse of such a structure, you can actually feel the bridge sway.  It literally moves underneath your vehicle.  His grandfather began saying, “Do you feel that?”  Further, he teased his young heart and mind with, “The bridge is collapsing, THE BRIDGE IS COLLAPSING and we’re going to end up in the river.”

A spirit of fear came over the young man that day and it still gripped him as he sat before me shaking with the memory exposed.  To this man, bridges were something to fear.  A lie was spoken to him through innocent teasing and his soul and spirit received the lie.  The Law of Attribution, defined, says, “That which you attribute to be fearful and stress producing will be.”   When approaching a bridge, a warning light and alarm went off within him and told him to avoid it, pull over and back up.  There was no truth in the lie, but still fresh and deep within his memory bank.  What do you attribute to be fearful, anxiety or depression producing?  How has the law of attribution been put into effect within your life?  Stay tuned for more on the subject next week.

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Children, Encouragement

Whom am I Playing To?

The great American baseball player, Babe Ruth, once said, “Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from swinging for the fence.”   I remember as a young boy playing little league baseball.  I played for four straight years and in the final two years I was the first string catcher.  In that third and fourth year, I also remember that our team, the Moose Giants, came in first place.  We had some young, but talented pitchers and hitters.  It was great fun and excitement.  But, I also recall one other detail from those years.  Never once do I remember seeing my parents in the stands watching me play.  It just wasn’t their priority.

That memory causes me to sometimes ask myself, “Whom am I playing to?”  In other words, whom do I desire to be in my “stands,” cheering me on in both the good and the not so good?  Whose approval am I looking for?  There is a certain fear standing at home plate with a bat in hand.  One reassuring smile from the stands would have removed that fear.  It would have said, “Go ahead son, you can do it; I believe in you; so knock it out of the park.”  Many years ago this was settled in my heart when I heard my heavenly Father say to me, “ You are my beloved son in whom I am well pleased.”  And then He smiled reassuringly.  To whom are you playing to?

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Children, Encouragement, Marriage

Giving Away My Daughter

In two weeks I have the privilege of walking my baby girl down the aisle and then officiating the wedding ceremony.  While I felt so honored to be asked to perform the wedding, I now wonder about my sanity in agreeing to do it.  Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea, but am now the one with “cold feet” and wondering how I will get through it emotionally.  How do you “give away” your only daughter, the baby in the family?  She is about to spend more time married, with another man, than she ever spent with me, her father, growing up – it’s not fair.

I loved the growing up years from infancy on.  I was elated watching her first steps and missing her the moment she went off to kindergarten. I loved teaching her to ride a bicycle and playing softball in the front yard.  Her acting career in high school, although short-lived, was moments in time of sheer pride.  Teaching her to drive a car, a five speed, was exhilarating in more ways than one.  Sending her off to college four hours from her home…never easy.  Helping her move to Washington, DC for her first “real” job felt awkward at best.

But soon I will walk her down the aisle and then another man will walk her away from me.  There will be an exchange of authority, of leadership, of responsibility and another will be “laying down his life.”  I would do it all over again, from birth forward.  I would change some things, but not much.  I would not trade the struggles and tears, the laughter and joys for anything.  It is why God gave her to me (us) – to give her away, first to Him and then to His man for her.  It is why I/we spent thousands of hours training her and thousands of dollars raising her.  Brooke Megan, you are an amazing woman of God; you are a delight to my very soul.  “…Our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace.” (Ps. 144:12)

(If you are single and wondering what are the most important character traits in a life mate, then read my first 21 blogs.)

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