A number of years ago I regularly met with a spiritual father, who graciously volunteered to counsel me, read what I was writing and hold me accountable in my walk with Jesus. I loved those sessions from this seasoned man of God who was – over a long and amazing life – a farmer, then a missionary, then a pastor and then a college professor. In one of our meetings he gave me a copy of his musings about how his marriage lasted over six decades. I have listed his eight pieces of advice for you below.
1. We kept on, and on, leaving father and mother, cleaving to one another forming an ever-growing and changing union.
2. We worked hard at thinking about the positives of each other.
3. We sought absolute honesty before God and one another.
4. We embraced and enjoyed God together: serving, being pastors, parenting and worshipping.
5. We sought total spiritual oneness, far more than sexual oneness.
6. We laughed together about our failures and our life. We sought something fun for our relationship on a weekly basis.
7. We held one another accountable concerning risky tendencies.
8. Lastly, we admitted the possibility of “growing apart” in our marriage and committed ourselves to keep working at our abilities to seek periodic renewals, counseling, marriage enrichment, reading books, deepening of empathy and overcoming angers.
There you have it…profound wisdom from a matured marriage in which both partners now live with their Savior.
“In order for me to feel good about me, I need to know that you feel good about me.”
For the first two questions the answer is: reconciliation. To reconcile means to go from an unacceptable state to an acceptable state. Christ has done that work by first accepting us. (Romans 15:7)
The next two have an answer as well: justification. Before my performance, I am justified. To be justified means that I am forgiven of my sin; I am free from my shame and my guilt and I am in right standing with God. Again, not because of what I have done or can do, but because of what Christ has done. (Romans 3:21-28; 5:1; II Corinthians 5:21)
We all deserve punishment, however Christ took that punishment for our past, present and future sin upon Himself and that’s called: propitiation. Propitiation is when God placed His Son upon the cross for us to make atonement forever. (I John 4:9, 10, 18)
Lastly, I can change. I am not up for a vote. The answer to change is: regeneration. Robert McGee once said that who you think you should be is less than who you already are. To be regenerated is to become a new creation. To become born again is to get to start over and participate in His divine nature. (II Corinthians 5:17)
This is a blog about “church,” so-to-speak, but maybe we miss the mark a bit if we don’t keep putting the focus back on the One who precedes the church and everything else. The church is, no doubt, meant to be a much more radical movement than we have understood it to be. How much more important is it for us to see that Jesus, the head of the church, is a far more radical man/God than we can even begin to understand. He is the One we, His church, are designed to imitate. Perhaps if we get Jesus right, and our imitation of Him in keeping with who He is, we will naturally get church right.
How common is it to attempt to protect yourself from pain and hurt? It seems to be a natural human reaction to back away from something that we interpret as painful or possibly painful in the future. It can block us from making healthy decisions for today and tomorrow. Most of us have an aversion to emotional pain, but avoidance may not be the best method for personal growth. As you and I look back over our lives, we often discover that it is the most painful or emotionally difficult times in our past in which we grew the most. And, to avoid these times or to run from them could actually stunt our personal growth.
Here in the USA, the military draft ended at the end of the Vietnam War. In some nations around the world, there is a required season of serving in the military for young men and women. I imagine for most it’s not a bad deal, i.e., education, learning discipline, obeying authority and good physical health. I enjoyed much of the process of “becoming a man” in the US military. One of my favorite memories was leading many of the lonely, homesick men into a relationship with Jesus. Evangelism opportunities were everywhere. 
Our younger son, following graduation from college, spent seven years traveling the USA in a rock band, recording two albums in Nashville, getting married, having a son himself all the while also working at a local law firm, has recently graduated from Weidner Law School as valedictorian. He has worked so hard and we are so proud of him as any parent would be. But there’s more to the story and it is this ‘more’ part that causes us to be especially proud – his speech delivered at graduation before his classmates, his professors, guest speakers and the many family members gathered there that day.
Can we maintain integrity even while we are on a mistake-filled journey here on earth? We can, as godly character is grown over time and we realize mistakes are a part of that growth. If we live under strict codes, then all failures are placed upon our permanent record. But in living under grace, we find forgiveness for our failures and an Advocate who comes along side us to reinforce the right responses for future application and personal growth. The journey, while not an excuse for sin, is about growth in the process, not perfection.
It was the early 1500’s when an ordained minister was executed after imprisonment, being strangled and finally burned at the stake as a heretic. This “heretic” was a Protestant theologian and was the first to translate the Bible from the original languages into English. However, King Henry III and the English church authorities were hostile toward the project. William Tyndale finished only the New Testament and this Bible was printed in 1525.
The National day of Prayer was originally designated on July 4, 1953 as a day of prayer and penance. However the man who instituted this day spent July 4, 1953 fishing, golfing and playing bridge. During the 1950’s, church attendance was at an all-time high in America and most best-selling books were religious ones. Crime rates were low and divorce was rare. Unemployment was low and the nation was prospering. Prior to the turmoil of the decade to come, the nation had a confidence in God.
Who was this all-important and influential man who designated such an important annual day of reflection for America? It was Dwight D.Eisenhower. Dwight was named after the great evangelist Dwight L. Moody. Dwight Eisenhower’s parents were devout members of a German Mennonite group called the River Brethren. The River Brethren were known for their pacifism and certainly did not condone drinking alcohol, smoking or playing cards, of which Dwight eventually did all three. General Eisenhower grew up in a home that was dedicated to teaching him the Bible and he could quote many passages at length. Today he is hailed as one of the greatest US military generals.
Was this two-term President a hypocrite or did he believe that America had a duty to acknowledge God? Was he fallen away from his personal relationship with Christ or was he being used by and obeying Christ for such an important season of America’s history? “…Listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life…” (Proverbs 4:20-22)
We all have needs. Recently I asked the following question to a group of persons outside of the US, “What is your biggest need in life?” The answers were varied, but a few included: education, money, food and medical attention. I then posed a second question, “What if I could bring a very wealthy man or woman to you and they would meet all of your need?” The group erupted with applause and responded with a brief conversation to the one seated beside them. I could tell they were looking at me wondering if I would bring just such a person. I followed up with this question, “After your need is met, will you ever have another need and then desire to meet with this person once again?” Some could see where the line of questioning was headed.
Steve Prokopchak 